The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.
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Memories are Malleable
Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation, and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)
In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, unpenetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.
Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.
Starting a Brand New Memory System
- Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.
These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills, etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.
- Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.
They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.
- After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to themself.
Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves to promote the negative.
- Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.
It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family, and of course, their supportive coaches.
- Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.
Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.
Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.
Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.
