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Blame Shifting

Posted on August 16, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

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BLAME SHIFTING

 

“Lack of results typically don’t stem from a lack of resources, but rather a lack of courageous effort.”

Intermediate athletes occasionally self-sabotage their confidence, preparation, and efforts through blame-shifting. “I don’t have enough time!” “My coach didn’t tell me!” “It’s too far away!” “There is nowhere to train!” Shifting accountability is dishonest, immature, and cowardly. These qualities aren’t found in champions.

Habitually shifting-blame results in a loss of self-respect, increased poor performances, and decreased confidence in abilities. Avoidance of taking responsibility becomes contagious and contaminates all aspects of one’s life. In an effort to console the athlete, it is very common for parents and coaches to comply with their athlete’s blame-shifting behaviors to lessen the burden.

Parents who blame shift after their child’s losses unknowingly teach them how to fail consistently and comfortably.

Parents and coaches need to stand firm and constructively call out blame-shifting and resist the temptation to augment the athlete’s excuses. It is critical to reinforce the learning experiences gained through proper training and competition and not condemn mistakes or failures. Athletes maximize potential with continued learning. Learning often comes from failures. Accountability is an essential life skill in successful individuals, and though some athletes may need to fail by first choosing the wrong path, it is incumbent that the coach and parents rein in poor behaviors sooner than later.

 

Blame shifting results in being ill-prepared for battle.

Cultivate Gratitude As A Daily Attitude

Posted on August 14, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

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So what are the benefits of gratitude? The attitude of gratitude will benefit your athlete by providing:

  • An Optimistic Viewpoint of Every Situation
  • More Connections-Friendships/Partners/Networking Opportunities
  • The Ability to Focus on Fewer Physical Aches & Pains
  • The Need to Chase Less Toxic Emotions
  • The Ability to Handle Gamesmanship
  • Greater Self-Esteem/Confidence
  • Reduced Ranking Comparisons
  • Appreciating Versus Resenting Other’s Accomplishments
  • Reduced Fear, Stress, and Nervousness
  • Resiliency in Overcoming Hardships

 

Gratitude studies in sports psychology found significant links between gratitude and well-being. Mental and emotional strength is what every athlete seeks. Before bed, ask athletes to build their ‘gratitude muscle’ by completing a gratitude journal.

According to a study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being: Even after devastating losses, being grateful fosters the resiliency to bounce back quicker and stronger. Spend five minutes jotting down a few grateful sentiments before bed quiets the restless, unsatisfied mind. Nurturing gratitude is a daily gift one gives to oneself.

 

A grateful mindset better prepares the athlete to
handle pressure.

ATTITUDE IN BATTLE

Posted on August 12, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

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ATTITUDE IN BATTLE

 

“It’s impossible to be grateful and angry simultaneously.”

Athletes who routinely choose to play grateful versus angry have a distinct advantage under pressure. A proactive attitude helps players perform in the flow state they desperately seek but unintentionally destroy.

Even with the best of attitudes, athletes need emotional preparation. Pushing your athlete past discomfort on the practice court is often a heated affair. It’s much more difficult than the typical snow job tennis lesson witnessed at the country club. (Snow job: An avoidance of the real issues as the coach simply flatters the student until their lesson time runs out).

Preparing for pressure consists of building the competitors emotional walls of defense. This competitive development includes both delivering big weapons as well as taking repeated hits. As the famous boxer, Mike Tyson says, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”

 

“It ain’t how hard you hit. It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” Rocky Balboa

Cultivate Gratitude As A Daily Attitude

Posted on August 9, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

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Cultivate Gratitude As
A Daily Attitude

 

“Comfort stems from a grateful mind.”

Some athletes thrive in those pressure-packed moments. How? By simply loving being in those big moments. They want to play on court #1, center stage, in the finals with a packed house. These exceptional athletes prepare for pressure by applying gratitude daily.

Without getting too fluffy, preparing athletes for pressure demands nurturing gratitude life skills because grateful people are mentally and emotionally healthier individuals.

COGNITIVE CONTROL- PART 2

Posted on August 7, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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RANDOM FOCUS CHART:

PAST

  • Mistake
  • Confrontations
  • Ranking
  • Seeding
  • Successes
  • Failures

PRESENT

  • Global Strategy
  • Tactics
  • Opponent
  • Profiling
  • Rituals
  • Routines
  • Optimism

FUTURE

  • Next Opponent
  • Ranking
  • Trophy
  • Parents Views
  • Friends Views
  • Lunch
  • Homework

Match-time meltdowns typically start when an athlete fails to stay in the moment. Staying in the present, focusing on performance goals is a crucial asset for the mentally strong athlete. It’s important to note that even the top athletes lose focus. The difference is that the seasoned competitors recognize the mental drift and quickly return to their script.

Lucky for most junior players, losing focus for a moment won’t make them lose the match. What does cause serious trouble is being unable to refocus and get back on script. It’s safe to say that preparing for pressure includes eliminating mental interferences.

 

Performing well under pressure requires that the athlete recognize when their mind travels away from the task at hand.

COGNITIVE CONTROL

Posted on August 6, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

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COGNITIVE CONTROL

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“Great competitors don’t just control the ball…they control their wandering minds.”

Preparing for pressure requires the ability to avoid meltdowns. The athletes wandering mind is a precursor to the bad patches that are often present in match play. Just because the athlete is physically standing on court #6 in tournament competition, doesn’t mean his/her mind is present. In intermediate tennis, thoughts routinely drift from past to present to future sabotaging their performance.

 

Mastery Requires Leaving One’s Comfort Zone

Posted on August 4, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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Mastery requires leaving one’s comfort zone

 

“Pushing through the walls of fear is the path towards mastery.”

Mastering requires the athlete to accept that leaving their comfort zone is often uncomfortable because it forces the athlete to punch through their walls of disbelief and doubt. Mastering one’s own emotions comes before mastering the competitive game. The mental barrier of not believing in themselves is what keeps most athletes from attempting new skills and ultimately competing well under stress.

It’s within the job description of the athlete’s sphere of influence to help navigate the athlete through their walls of self-doubt, fear, and disbelief.

Progress is found on the other side of each athlete’s invisible walls that are holding them hostage. Gaining mastery of the physical, mental, and emotional skills require consistent targeted training and the enjoyment of the process. Mastery takes place only after thousands of hours of deliberate practice.

 

Mastery isn’t a function of sheer athleticism. It’s a function of courage, deliberate focus, perseverance, and work ethics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mastering requires the athlete to accept that leaving their comfort zone is often uncomfortable because it forces the athlete to punch through their walls of disbelief and doubt. Mastering one’s own emotions comes before mastering the competitive game. The mental barrier of not believing in themselves is what keeps most athletes from attempting new skills and ultimately competing well under stress.

It’s within the job description of the athlete’s sphere of influence to help navigate the athlete through their walls of self-doubt, fear, and disbelief.

Progress is found on the other side of each athlete’s invisible walls that are holding them hostage. Gaining mastery of the physical, mental, and emotional skills requires consistent targeted training and the enjoyment of the process. Mastery takes place only after thousands of hours of deliberate practice.

 

Mastery isn’t a function of sheer athleticism. It’s a function of courage, deliberate focus, perseverance, and work ethics.

 

 

Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 2

Posted on July 25, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

Sharpening Healthier Communicationsoft science

Successfully communicating the facts is highly dependent on WHAT message is being delivered and HOW the message is being delivered. The following list offers eight techniques I recommend applying to communicate effectively:

  • Intertwine sports science facts with personal, emotional storytelling.
  • Impart humor within a conversational tone to bond the relationship.
  • Avoid a distancing style with an elitist attitude and academic language.
  • Use inclusive pronouns like “We all need to…”
  • Apply cadences, rhythms, and dramatic pauses to accentuate meaning.
  • Vary their volume from a scream to a whisper to deepen the message.
  • Pull listeners in by modifying the pace of delivery from excited and fast to dramatic and slow.
  • Match and mirror the listener to make them more comfortable.

Great communicators presenting in groups or one-on-one have developed their presentation power. Armed with a full toolbox of delivery methods, they trade in intimidating, interrogating and dictating with sharing everyday experiences to engage the audience-which is the heart of genuinely connecting.

 

I Want To Be More Positive But What Do I Say?

Most parents and coaches want the very best for their children and students. However, finding the perfect words of comfort are not always easy, especially after competition. Regardless of the variations in personality profiles, parents and coaches alike need to reinforce the athlete’s efforts with sincere non-judgmental encouraging words. The following is a list of insightful statements athletes need to hear after competition:

  • I love watching you play!
  • I’m so proud of you.
  • I’m impressed by your skills.
  • I’m so grateful to be your parent.
  • You are so brave.
  • It’s so fascinating to watch you solve problems on court.
  • You are so creative and skillful.
  • I so admire your ability to stay focused on the court.
  • It is so fun for me to watch you compete.
  • I can’t wait to hear what you think about the match.
  • I admire your courage to compete.
  • Your optimism is contagious- I love when you smile.
  • This is my favorite part of the week.
  • I love being your parent and/or coach.

Research shows that performing in the future as the Alpha competitor stems from a positive belief system.  Your words become their inner dialogue. Emotional aptitude is a learned behavior. Your child’s optimism and growth mindset should be molded daily. (Coach’s Note: Please send the above insightful list to the parents of your athletes.)

All the great coaches I’ve met have a strong need for connecting and belonging. Positive communication is vital for a happy, longstanding career. Exceptional communication builds better relationships, mutual respect, and trust which leads to success. Superior coaching is the art of changing an athlete in a non-dictatorial way.

The student-coach connection improves with effective communication via verbal and nonverbal communication channels. The following chapters will uncover several excellent recommendations for coaches and parents to immerse themselves in the art of listening.

 

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

Dalai Lama

 

Selecting a Tennis Coach

Posted on July 20, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Facts to Consider When Selecting a Pro

Finding a Pro is easy. Finding the right Pro will require more thought and leg work. You may be using different types of Pros for different reasons. Below are a few insider tips to help you hire your entourage of coaches:

  • In every region, only a very small percentage of pros actually teach the top players. (There are very big differences between teachers and recruiters.)
  • Look for a coach who’s enjoying what they do, it’s contagious.
  • Seek out a Pro that is so busy, that they don’t need you.
  • The 10,000-hour rule applies! Being a master coach is a learned experience.
  • Seek out a Pro who understands your child’s unique Brain and Body Type (Genetic Predisposition).
  • Make sure the coach is asking questions, customizing and targeting their lessons.
  • Ask every player that beats your kid, “Great match…who is your coach? Where do you train?”
  • Ask a prospective coach, “We’ve heard great things about you, may we come and observe a few of your lessons?”
  • Pay the coach to chart a match and devise his game plan for improvement. Meet regarding his observations and suggestions.
  • Ask for a resume and who they trained under. (As a teacher- not as a player.)
  • Look for a coach that encourages independent thinking versus dependent thinking.
  • While there are exceptions, a former ATP/WTA challenger player does not always translate into a great teacher. The most successful tennis coaches were not the most successful tour players.
  • Be wary of a Pro that discourages you from hitting with other Pro’s, hitters or trainers!

 

SPECIAL NOTE: To avoid confusion, employ one coach per job at any given time. Two different coaches employed to fix a serve may prove to be extremely confusing for your child. Conflicting information and battling egos spells trouble!

 

“It often proves beneficial to secretly observe a coach or academies without the coaching staff knowing you are a future client.  This experience will provide you with an honest assessment of their program.”

The Formula for Achieving Results- Part 2

Posted on July 18, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

The Formula for Achieving Resultsfrank

Insight 4: Focus on controlling the controllables versus focusing on the uncontrollables. In the competitive moment, is your athlete able to change past issues or forecast future issues? No, during competition, your athlete is only able to control the controllable – which is the present task at hand.

Parental focus should be on the effort and let go of results. Excellent physical, mental and emotional effort for the duration should be the entourage’s mission.

 

“Remember, there is a significant difference between excellence and perfection. Excellent effort is controllable. Perfection is a lie.”

 

Insight 5: Seek to educate your children to strive for excellence, not perfection. The effort is in the process which will obtain winning results -not perfect results.

Your child’s success begins with preparing their character for the process of improvement. Only by achieving continuous improvement will your athlete be prepared when opportunity knocks. Unfortunately, many juniors get great opportunities but fail to capitalize, not because their lucky shorts were in the wash, but because they simply weren’t prepared.

 

Insight 6: Ask your athlete to complete a daily focus journal to assist them in self-coaching. Which of their components are weakest? Why? What would they suggest they could do differently to improve this weakness? The process of improvement needs a plan.

What drives your athlete to actually document their successes in their daily focus journal? What motivates them to wake up and put in the hard work? The answer is their moral compass, also known as their character. It’s their honest relationship and dialog with themselves that allows them to achieve their goals.

Insight 7: Character skills are life skills that parents can focus on daily. They include personal performance enhancers such as effort, dedication, time management, perseverance, resilience, and optimism. They also include personal ethics such as honesty, appreciation, loyalty, trustworthiness, kindness, unselfishness and respect. Parental coaching starts here.

 

Let’s review. The formula for parents to assist in skyrocketing their athlete’s chances of achieving championship results is to begin with the character skills needed to implement their deliberate, customized developmental plan. An organized plan will be the foundation of the athletes accelerated growth. This is how you maximize your child’s potential as the quickest rate.