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Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 6

Posted on December 12, 2020 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

Parents, Avoid discussing outcome goalsPreparing final cover 3D

 

“On match day, to reach outcome goals, avoid talking about them.”

Many athletes add stress before competition by discussing outcome goals. Such conversations include, “I should beat Zoe 1 & 1, she’s only ranked an 8 UTR”, “I’m going to prove to my coaches and friends that I’m better than Mathew,” “I should easily reach the finals in this tournament!” The focus on these unnecessary outcome goals only adds unwanted stress to a stressful environment.

Similarly, parents are also to blame for destroying the calm mindset athletes seek. Parents often unknowingly add their own outcome-oriented stress as they routinely talk about “you should easily be hitting 2 aces a game with the service lessons I paid for this week!”, “This opponent is a pusher. You should win easy.”, “Once you win this tournament the USTA will have to invite us to the National Campus to train!”

These topics hurt the athlete’s chances of reaching their desired outcome. Instead, leave the speculations at home and choose to focus on the strategic performance goals customized for the upcoming match.

 

Desired outcomes are found when the entourage manages the performance.

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Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 5

Posted on December 9, 2020 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

Understanding Internal PressurePreparing final cover 3D

 

“Thriving under pressure requires exposure, not avoidance.”

Teaching a junior competitor to handle internal pressure is a complicated affair. It greatly depends on their genetic predisposition. Some personality profiles are wired to overthink, worry, and stress, while others are natural-born competitors. If your athlete wilts under pressure, this is for you!

A solution that will help athletes to become comfortable in match play is replacing the mindless grooving of strokes in the academy with actually competing in real practice matches. Organize your athlete’s training sessions to focus on competitive, simulated stressful situations on a daily basis.

After a solid foundation is built, redundant technical training is counter-productive. Preparing for pressure demands exposing the athlete to more live ball flexible skills training. This allows them to make the software mistakes and learn from them on the practice court long before tournament play occurs.

A second solution in preparing for pressure is to avoid always enrolling your athlete in events above their actual match play level. I recommend also registering your athlete into lower level, winnable tournaments. This will allow them to gain the much-needed experience of playing longer at their peak performance level six matches in a row. Athletes need to routinely experience what it’s like to compete in the semis and finals of events.

Athletes need to become accustomed to the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms and cures found in real match play. Only with experience will they learn how to perform under pressure.

 

Parents, it’s your job to fluctuate your athlete’s exposure to the different levels of competition at the correct time. Their tournament scheduling should be customized to their current needs.

 

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Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 4

Posted on December 6, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

 

Keep Your Athlete On-Script before CompetitionPreparing final cover 3D

 

“Your athlete’s script is their repeatable dominant patterns.”

Let’s go a step deeper into how parents can assist their athletes in preparing for pressure. When your athletes are uncertain, they play confused and fearful. Fear is the enemy of peak performance. When your athletes and their coaches design scripts (with clear physical, mental, emotional protocols), these intentions breed confidence. Focusing on their script of pre-set patterns and solutions serves two purposes for the athlete.

The first benefit is that a proper headspace distracts the athletes from the onslaught of contaminating outcome thoughts. Worrying about the possible upcoming catastrophe gets most athletes into a horrible mindset. While they can’t really stop themselves from thinking, you can purposely distract them from outcome dreams and nightmares. It’s important to note that often, the parents are the instigators of the contamination.

The second benefit is strategic- pre-setting rehearsed patterns and plays prior to competition. This is accomplished by asking your athlete to review their current performance goals, strategies, and contingency plans. Mental rehearsals through visualization is a terrific way to assist the athletes to adhere to their script mentally and emotionally before competition.

 

Great performances begin with an optimistic organized mindset.


 

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Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 3

Posted on December 4, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

Is The Parent a Source of External Pressure?Preparing final cover 3D

 

“It’s no secret that a large portion of pressure comes unknowingly from tennis parents.”

The tennis parent is the second most important entity in the athlete’s entourage (The athlete being the most important.)

The parents are the CEO, the manager of the entourage of coaches, and the facilitator of the player’s customized developmental plan. With responsibility comes pressure. This is especially true when the parent is bankrolling the journey. All too often, tennis parents become overbearing yet don’t see themselves as the leading source of frustration.

Communicating with an adolescent competitive athlete isn’t easy. A relaxed demeanor versus a stressed appearance matters deeply. In fact, current studies show that approximately 7% of communication is verbal, while 93% is made up of tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language.

While it’s natural for parents to be on high alert for any possible signs of danger, it’s essential to understand that the athlete needs a calming influence.

 

Parental pressure can be both real and imagined. In the end, it’s the perception of the athlete that matters.


 

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Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 2

Posted on December 2, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

Identifying your Personal Stress Response

 

 

Preparing final cover 3D

“When results matter, pressure will affect performance.”

 

Parents, ask yourself, “Is performing under pressure beneficial or harmful to your child?” Your answer determines how likely you are to be affected by competitive pressure. Because of that, your athlete will likely inherit that point of view. If the parent perceives pressure as a negative force, they will repeatedly associate it with anxieties such as negative judgment, fear of failure, and self-doubt. Parents applying a pessimistic viewpoint drains the athlete’s energies before competition even begins. Uneducated parents pull the athlete’s focus away from performance goals and into the praise or criticisms coming their way.

This common negative parental mindset leads to the dismantling of the trust every good coach develops. All too often a stressed-out parent unknowingly sabotages the confidence they’ve just paid a coach to instill. Once tournament titles are perceived as paramount by the parent, the process of performing when it matters most is shattered.

 

It’s meaningful to understand how stress multiplies. The design of a tournament draw ensures that pressure increases through each round of the event. As the level of stress increases, so too must the athlete’s emotional aptitude. Pressure naturally increases towards the end of each game, set, and match. If the pressure begins to be perceived as overwhelming the performance level will decline. Monitoring and releasing pressure stems from the proper use of between point rituals and changeover routines. Athletes who choose to skip these “recharging stations” routinely breakdown when they need emotional clarity the most.

 

What if the pressure was seen as beneficial? Billy Jean King famously said, “Pressure is a privilege.” An optimistic point of view is that the athlete is where their peers want to be. Athletes who are nurtured that pressure has positive forces become unflappable at crunch time. These balanced parents who are routinely nurturing tenacity and confidence have athletes who apply situational awareness versus outcome obsessions.

The impact of parents greatly influences the athlete’s physical, mental, and emotional development. In the correct optimistic frame of mind, pressure prompts growth, and consistent growth is what you seek. So, is pressure seen as harmful or beneficial to the development of your child?

 

Promote competition as an information-gathering mission necessary to test developing skills.

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Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 1

Posted on November 30, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

TEN Questions Parents Should Ask Their AthletesPreparing final cover 3D

 

“Ask…don’t tell.”

Let’s begin with identifying the number one question parents should NOT ask, “Did you win?” This question pulls the athlete into an outcome-oriented mindset, instead of being growth-minded. The art of communication with athletes includes promoting accountability and problem-solving. Commanding your child what to think is a sure-fire way to encourage disconnection. It’s our job to show them where to look, but not to tell them what they see. Teach your athlete to analyze their performance and to research solutions that promote growth and retention.

Questions Parents Should Ask:

  1. How was your preparation?
  2. How do you feel about your performance?
  3. What worked well?
  4. What can you improve?
  5. What did you learn?
  6. How else would you have handled that?
  7. What would you do differently next time?
  8. Are you satisfied with your level of play?
  9. How was your composure under pressure?
  10. Did you thank your coaches?

Competitive tennis is incredibly emotional. Parents, it’s within your job description to share your calmness versus partaking in their chaos. Your child needs to hear, “I want to hear your opinion. I believe in you. I’ll always be here to help you.”

 

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Tennis from the Parent’s View- Part 5

Posted on November 27, 2020 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

THE CULTURE OF BELIEFPreparing final cover 3D

 

“If you keep working this hard, you’ll be playing at the US Open!”

This was my actual weekly battle cry to my stepdaughter. By the age of 15, Sarah was competing at the US Open. The typical parental pre-match pep talk sounds like this: “Today’s so important! Don’t blow it again! You have to win!”

Belief stems from habitually using life skill terms such as effort, fight, resiliency, courage, persistence, and focus. Parents should routinely apply these lure words to subliminally planting the seeds needed to be clutch under pressure.

Molding belief is similar to molding memories. Do you remember hearing a childhood story throughout your youth that actually never really happened the way it’s told? These embellished accounts spun by family members eventually become real memories. Similarly, parents can apply a form of positive brainwashing to motivate athletes to believe in themselves in the heat of the battle. Children are impressionable. It’s within the tennis parent’s job description to convince their athletes that they can and will succeed.

 

Nurturing life skills and positive character traits should be every parent’s daily battle cry.

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Tennis from the Parent’s View- Part 4

Posted on November 25, 2020 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

Preparing final cover 3D

 

CONFIDENCE STEMS FROM CULTURE

 

“Parents, your thoughts and emotions are highly contagious.”

The parents are the athlete’s most consistent sphere of influence. Parents can help prepare athletes for pressure by priming confidence through solution-based optimistic dialog. They should also model positive life skills daily.

Parents would be wise to nurture their athlete’s software (mental and emotional skills) as much as they expect a hired coach to develop their child’s hardware (strokes and athleticism).

Let’s look at a typical week. We all get 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That’s 168 accountable hours. If a high-performance athlete is training their hardware with their coaches for approximately 20 hours a week, how many hours are left for parents to assist in the software development? The remaining 148 hours a week offer wonderful opportunities for mental and emotional growth.

Being clutch at crunch time is a learned skill. Understanding how to thrive versus wilt under pressure is developed by master coaches and master tennis parents. Another great question parents should ask themselves:

Is someone routinely mentoring the mental & emotional protocols needed to handle pressure in competition? If not, consistent disappointment is sure to shadow most upcoming tournament competitions.

Parents, if you’re not developing incredible character traits, a moral compass, and essential life skills, who is? Preparing for pressure requires the development of the athlete’s software skills.

 

Parents are the athlete’s most consistent sphere of influence.

 

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Tennis from the Parent’s View- Part 3

Posted on November 22, 2020 by in Preparing for Pressure

 

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

FIND THEIR WHYPreparing final cover 3D

 

“The willingness to prepare is more important than wanting to win.
Preparing to be great begins with WHY?”

Mr. Jones wants the new S500 Mercedes Benz with jet black exterior and the baseball-mitt brown leather interior. To afford such a luxury, he realizes he has to work overtime for the next few years. Mr. Jones found his “Why” (his new dream car), so he’s happy to put in
the extra at work.

Junior athletes need to choose between being a champion or a “normal” kid. They also need to buy into their “WHY”- intrinsic motivation. I recommend planting the seed of athletic royalty at the college of their choosing. Review the common perks of the typical college athletes such as free books/laptop, priority registration, room & board, full time dedicated tutor, and of course, tuition!

 

The multiple benefits and rewards of participating in college tennis may be the reasons why young,
intelligent athletes put in the daily work.

 

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Tennis from the Parent’s View- Part 2

Posted on November 19, 2020 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

Preparing final cover 3D

PARENT’S, DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?

 

“Your Weekly Initiative Separates Your Athlete From Their Peers?”

All throughout the history of tennis, we have seen ordinary men and women come from humble backgrounds with nothing but a dream. Most of these athletes weren’t especially gifted or financially wealthy. Yet they were able to become top ATP and WTA professionals. What separates us from them is their family commitment to push beyond mediocrity. It doesn’t take much effort to be average. Follow the crowd, and you’ll reach that level.

Most athletes dream of playing professional or NCAA ball but only a few are destined for greatness. It’s estimated that only 5% of High school varsity tennis players move on to play high-level college tennis. It’s not their lack of athleticism, it’s their lack of a deliberate, customized developmental plan.

 

The tennis success you seek requires a high tennis IQ, well developed emotional aptitude,
and the acceptance of serious weekly growth.

 

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