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Secret Number One: Self-Acceptance
“The toughest thing is to look in the mirror and accept yourself.” – Frank Giampaolo
In the world of high-performance tennis, the first and perhaps most crucial hidden skill is self-acceptance. It’s the ability to embrace who you are, flaws and all, and to understand that true success begins with an honest assessment of oneself.
The top ATP and WTA stars, the ones we admire and watch on the biggest stages, are imperfect. They don’t possess superhero abilities, nor are they devoid of weaknesses. Instead, they possess a unique understanding of themselves—both their strengths and their limitations. They’ve learned to develop their tennis identity, which allows them to leverage their strengths while working to improve their weaknesses.
In a world that encourages imitation, these champions don’t waste time and energy training to be someone they’re not. They focus, instead, on becoming the best version of themselves. They understand that authenticity is their greatest asset.
So, what does self-acceptance in tennis truly mean? It starts with recognizing your understanding of how your personality and body type shape your style of play. You don’t have to fit in others’ mold; you can create your path to success by being unapologetically yourself—faults and all.
The impact of honest self-acceptance goes beyond just self-assurance. It directly influences your style of play on the court. You’re more likely to play confidently in tournament competition when you embrace who you are and accept your superpowers and limitations.
Consider, for a moment, the various playing styles in tennis: the power hitter, the steady retriever, and the all-court player. Each style is a product of an individual’s unique qualities and abilities. When you truly accept yourself, you can better understand which playing style suits you best and how to optimize it. Start by asking yourself, are you a grinder or disruptor?
Let’s be clear: self-acceptance is not about complacency. It’s not an excuse to ignore areas that need improvement. Instead, it’s a foundation for building your tennis career. By acknowledging your weaknesses, you can work strategically to enhance them, turning them into strengths over time.
While fundamentals are essential, competition is not just about hitting the ball cleanly; it’s also about the battle within yourself. Self-acceptance is your armor in that battle—a powerful tool that can shape your destiny in the world of high-performance tennis.
Industry Professional Quotes
“Frank Giampaolo has written a sacred text for maximizing athletic potential.”
Jon Wertheim, Editor Sports Illustrated, Author, Tennis Channel, 60 Minutes
As a parent of a former high school and college student-athlete, I know the importance of dealing with stress and anxiety. This is especially true for parents who are navigating this journey for the first time without any roadmap. This Psychology of Tennis Parenting by Frank Giampaolo is a must-read for student-athletes and their parents having to cope with the pressures of taking their game to the next level.
Dan Santorum, PTR, President & CEO
“This is an impressive and hard-hitting book. As a clinical psychologist, I strongly recommend it to any parent who wants to help a child reach peak performance. Giampaolo is a celebrated and sought-after tennis coach who understands what works and what doesn’t. Each chapter is power-packed and filled with sound advice on how to maximize performance. There’s no psychobabble here, only what makes practical on-the-court sense. Don’t just buy it. Study and apply its principles as you encourage your child toward athletic excellence.”
Clinton W. McLemore, Ph.D., Founder, Clinician’s Research Digest, Author, Inspiring Trust: Strategies for Effective Leadership, APA Award for Outstanding Contributions to Professional Development in Psychology, California
“Frank Giampaolo has done it yet again. I have had the pleasure of reading most of his 10 great books, but “The Psychology of Tennis Parenting” is his best and most relevant publication to date! He absolutely nails it when addressing one of the most important challenges facing youth sports today – that of the role of the parent in the development of the athlete.
Frank understands the importance of the role the parent can play in this development. We all want the best for our children, but often our good intentions produce less than desirable results. This is the main reason that 70% of our youth leaves their sport by the time they reach high school, and tennis is no exception.
The vast experience Frank has gained working with athletes of all abilities and with their parents has given him valuable insight into specific and positive ways to address the challenges of competition. Parents of successful athletes play a critical role in their child’s development and in their ability to thrive under pressure, both on and off the court. This extremely well-written book provides a tangible and indispensable road map for all – the athlete, the parent and the coach. It feels good that information is presented in a positive manner we can all take to heart without feeling we are being talked down to. In fact, it is a “must read!”
Thank you, Frank Giampaolo, for this incredible contribution!
Dick Gould, Emeritus: Men’s Tennis Coach; Director of Tennis Stanford University (1966-2018), California
“Frank continues to create tools for tennis players and families to help navigate the pathways of development. This book offers invaluable knowledge to help players & parents navigate the emotional aspects of the competitive environment in a healthy and productive way. A must read,
Bravo Frank.”
Paul Annacone, Former Top 40 ATP, Coach of Taylor Fritz, Roger Federer, Pete Sampras
As a former top ATP Touring professional, now the father of two budding competitive tennis players, me and my wife go through all the same junior “pitfalls” as all the other parents. No matter that I was top 10 in the world and my wife played D-1 tennis at Virginia Tech, this junior tennis world is full of “derailment points “none more devastating to a junior tennis player than parents doing the wrong thing. Franks writing is unapologetic and straight to the point. He’s got the guts to share what coaches and parents should be teaching around the world. In this practical master work, Frank showcases common problems and provides clear and practical solutions that every parent and coach needs to apply on a daily basis.”
Johan Kriek, ATP, Multiple Grand Slam Champion Florida
