Tag Archives: The Tennis Parents Bible

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem

Posted on September 12, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis, The Tennis Parent's Bible

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Bill is a 6 foot lanky 14-year-old who is top 15 in Southern California. Tennis has come very easy to Bill. He is naturally athletic and much taller than his peers. Bill and his folks are convinced he’s on track to becoming an ATP Professional. He attends a local Tennis Academy, where he hits for 4 hours a day on the practice court, playing “catch” back and forth. He is also one of the best juniors at the academy.

Bill’s fundamental strokes are dynamite. He walks on-court cocky, smiling, and confident. During tournaments, however, when matches flip 180 degrees to a game of “keep away” Bill misses a few shots, begins to panic and turns into a completely different person. His verbal outbursts are self-belittling, and his body language and facial expressions are borderline crazy as tear roll down his cheeks.

After reviewing with Bill one of his so-called catastrophic losses, I asked him, “What are your thoughts about your performance?” Bill stated, “I played awful! I am so confused because I beat everyone in practice games, but in real tournament matches, if I miss an easy shot, I freak out and lose all belief. Man, I have no confidence in tough matches. Sometimes I get so upset that I can’t even find my strings and I turn into shank-zilla.  What is wrong with me?”

If strokes and athleticism are the muscles and bones of the athlete, confidence and self-esteem are the heart and soul. Let’s go back in time and review the origins of the words: confidence and esteem.

In Latin, the word confidence means to trust. Self-confidence refers to the athlete’s inner-emotional ability. It’s their opinion of their aptitude to engage and compete successfully. A self-confident person is eager to take on challenges and seeks new opportunities.

In Latin, the word esteem means to appraise. Self-esteem refers to the athlete’s inner emotional view of their self-worth. Athletes with high self-esteem feel secure, confident, and worthwhile.

Nurtured self-confidence and self-esteem typically precede any real athletic accomplishments. Without these soft science skills, athletes often hold themselves back by inaction due to fear and uncertainties. The majorities of athletes do not include emotional training in their tennis development and are not nurtured how to believe in themselves. As a result, emotionally weak competitors often view competition as a high risk activity instead of an opportunity. Some players have tremendous athletic skills but just don’t trust their abilities.

Performing at one’s peak potential in practice is easy because the athletes are not keeping real score so they are aren’t being judged. In tournament competition, judgment is inherent. Once the umpire calls out “LETS PLAY,” mental and emotional fear-based interferences come into view.

Do you ever wonder why some athletes stand up and fight at crunch time, routinely seizing the moment, while others wilt due to self-doubt and lack of courage? The difference lies in their inner belief, confidence, self-trust, and self-esteem.

The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.

  • Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
  • If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
  • If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
  • What is confidence?
  • What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
  • Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
  • What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
  • Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
  • In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
  • Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
  • Where does mediocre training lead?
  • What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
  • Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
  • How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
  • Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
  • How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?

Memories are Malleable

Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)

In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.

Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.

Starting a Brand New Memory System

  1. Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.

These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.

  • Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.

They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.

  • After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to them self.

Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves promoting the negative.

  • Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.

It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family and of course, their supportive coaches.

  • Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.

Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.

Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.

Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.

Eliminating Internal Judgment

Posted on August 24, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

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Eliminating Internal Judgment

My neighbor, Pete, owns Pete’s Home Repair Specialist. He’s a super friendly independent contractor. Due to his excellent soft science personal skills, Pete’s always in high demand.  His decades of experience have taught him that detailed preparation prevents poor performance. Pete’s truck is like an encyclopedia of tools organized by alphabet and ready for action. Though Pete doesn’t need all of his tools at every job, he brings every tool, just in case he needs it.

This analogy is very similar to a high-performance tennis player’s tool belt. In matches, they may not need to employ every skill set developed in their tool belt, but they do need to have primary and secondary strokes ready for competition, as well as multiple patterns and plays developed and prepared to be accessed if needed. Life skills, such as preparation improve the athlete’s confidence, inner dialogue, and of course, solution-based self-coaching skills.

“In the heat of battle, the voice inside each athlete is their driving force.”

In match play, an athlete’s internal dialogue is their self-coaching. Internal dialogue is the conversation their ego is having with themselves. Athletes have a habitual way they choose to navigate their matches. When they see competition in a negative light, their internal dialogue is dark. Conversely, when they “see pressure as a privilege,” to quote Billy Jean King, their self-coaching is more positive, uplifting, and optimistic. The question is: Where did the athlete learn their internal dialogue mantras?

An athlete’s negative, problem-oriented inner dialogue sabotages their performance by interfering with their quiet mind. To some athletes, negative inner dialogue spirals them into a self-defeating, under-arousal state. To others, it pushes them into a panicked, over-arousal state. Both are detrimental to performance. As I mentioned earlier, an athlete’s non-stop inner dialogue is either helping or hurting their performance. Intermediate athletes are known to sabotage their play by criticizing themselves, worrying about losing and inventing post-match catastrophic conclusions during competition.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution#1:
Video Analysis

One method of combating the athlete’s negative self-dialogue begins with videotaping tournament matches and providing non-hitting match play video analysis. This process accesses the specific stressful environment that needs to be studied.

As the high IQ coach quantifies the match data alongside the athlete, I recommend identifying how the athlete’s inner dialogue helped or hurt their performance.  Were they able to self-coach successfully?  When providing match play analysis, remember to apply the five optimistic comments for every one pessimistic statement. Following are video analysis topics the athlete and coach would be wise to discuss.

Match Play Video Analysis

  • Strokes & Movement Efficiencies & Deficiencies
  • Anticipatory Efficiencies & Deficiencies
  • Staying on Script. (Top 7 Patterns)
  • Opponent Profiling
  • Between Point & Change-Over Rituals & Routines
  • Emotional Control
  • Focus Control
  • Cause of Errors
  • Court Positioning Cause & Effect
  • Score Management

Athletes who are trained to monitor their emotions and inner dialogue via post-match video analysis are much more likely to become aware of the software complexities of competition.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #2:
Judgments through Comparisons

Judgmental thoughts typically stem from past or future thought comparisons. Typical thoughts of comparison in the heat of battle include, “Jason beat this dude. I can’t lose, I’ve got to prove I’m better than Jason,” “Kristin is ranked below me, and if I lose today, she’ll take my spot on the team,” “What are my parents and coaches going to say if I lose?” “Here I go…Choking again!”

Judgmental thoughts play havoc in the minds of our competitive athletes every day. Athletes in competition, with judgmental comparison thoughts, contaminate the match play process, which results in fighting two opponents, simultaneously- their negative thoughts and the real opponent.

Advanced athletes seeking better results often don’t have to learn more technical skills; they have to shift their attention to developing better self-communication skills. Keep in mind that the athlete’s inner voice will be with them long after they stop competing on the tennis court. Isn’t it worth the time to assist them in developing their lifelong self-coaching tools? Winning is much more likely when our athletes understand the art of self-coaching.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution # 3:
Positive Inner Dialog

The third method of conquering the athlete’s negative inner dialogue is through positive self-coaching with Neuro Priming. It is estimated that individuals have roughly 60,000 thoughts per day. Trading in a turbulent mental state for a relaxed, calming proactive state is essential.

What is Neuro Priming and why is it an essential addition to an athlete’s preparation? Neuro Priming is the science of preprogramming the athlete’s inner trust in their match solutions.

Mental rehearsals customize each athlete’s positive inner dialogue by organizing their physical, mental and emotional solutions into audio recordings in their voice. Listening to one’s inner dialogue audio tapes increases tennis IQ, reprograms old pessimistic beliefs, changes negative behaviors, speeds up the learning process, increases focus, assists the athletes in quickly fixing stroke flaws, staying on their script of patterns, coping with stress, nervousness and the fear of failure. Neuro Priming isn’t meant to replace on-court physical training; its purpose is to enhance it. It’s self-coaching at its best. (Visit #1 Best Seller on Amazon: Neuro Priming for Peak Performance, Giampaolo).

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #4:
Identifying Internal Obstacles

Looking deeper into competitive success brings us to a fourth method, which is assisting athletes by identifying their internal obstacles. Although losing to a more experienced player stings a bit, losing to a toad because you have self-destructed is much more harrowing. The secret to conquering one’s inner demons stems from understanding the importance of self-coaching. It is essential to master self-coaching with positive inner dialog by exchanging judgmental tirades with calming routines and rituals.

“Overcoming internal obstacles is more satisfying at a deeper level than beating a top seed.”

Athletes perform best when they are not excessively judged or overly concerned about the outcome ramifications. Having outcome goals is fine, as long as their focus is on the process. To continually stay process-minded is the backbone of successful inner dialogue. What influences athletes most in their toughest moments is their mental commentary. A healthy mindset orchestrates positive attitude, belief, and effort. So, what is competitive success? Competitive success is performing at one’s peak performance level set after set, the optimum victory for any athlete.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #5:
Monitoring Outer Dialogue

The fifth method of nurturing a positive inner dialogue is to ask the athlete to monitor their outer dialogue under stressful conditions. An athlete’s outer dialogue includes speech, body language and physical behavior, which are natural biproducts of an athlete’s internal dialogue.

Monitoring this process begins with the athlete recognizing their automatic system of behavior under the stressful conditions of competition. Although it is common to default to old comfortable habits under stress; negative habits not only perpetuate pessimistic thought patterns, but they also alert the opponent that self-destruction is in the works. Self-spotting outer dialogue behavior will help the athlete to recondition their inner dialog chatter.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #6:
Resist Attention Seeking Negative Dialogue

A behavior management strategy is to coach the athlete to resist attention seeking negative dialogue and behavior. Athletes gain sympathy by projecting pessimistic behaviors. A typical example of this is an athlete’s excessively loud mini tantrum in competition to gain sympathy from spectators, family or coaches. In essence, the athlete is projecting, “I’m usually so much better than this…I must be having an unusually bad day!” Ironically, the tantrum is seen every day.

In my opinion, tactically ignoring the outbursts in hopes that they go away is not dialog management because an appropriate alternate behavior is needed.  An athlete’s dialogue projects their thoughts and beliefs. Their voices have been simply programmed into their subconscious. Since they determine the course of their life, reprogramming their negative inner chatter is a battle worth fighting.

“Optimistic self-coaching is a wonderful technique to create better human beings on and off the tennis court.”

Here’s an alternate view of tennis parenting and tennis teaching. The conventional method has been to feel balls, criticize what’s broken and then focus on the athlete’s problem areas. This judgment-based approach isn’t always in the student’s best interest. Why? Because it subliminally plants the toxic seeds of negative inner dialogue and in competition, this learned behavior of focusing on what’s wrong opposes the natural flow state found in nonjudgmental, effortless, peak performance. Seeking “what is broken” isn’t part of performing in the zone or “treeing” as today’s juniors describe playing at one’s optimal level.

Tennis-Building Coachable Athletes

Posted on August 21, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

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Building Coachable Athletes

During a seminar, I conducted at The Wingate Sports Institute in Tel Aviv, Israel an attending woman’s volleyball coach raised her hand and asked me a great question: How does one discover their true potential? I responded, whether you’re coaching, parenting or playing your chosen sport, realize that you’re only one decision away from going up a level. The choice to avoid risk is what holds most of us back. Even before we attempt an endeavor, fear of the unknown forces most of us to retreat our efforts.

In psychology, it’s called the Spotlight Effect. The brain hesitates when it perceives there’s going to be a problem. We are hardwired to avoid pain and hardship whether it be physical, mental or emotional.  It’s easy to slide back and continue the same old comfortable routines, but “easy” only produces average results. Tennis coaches and players habitually choose to groove another basket of balls versus shifting their focus to the actual needs of the player (cause of losses). Why? It’s far less painful.

What’s holding us back is changing our decisions to taking risks versus routinely avoiding risks. Unpredictability and uncertainty should be seen as positive gatekeepers. I recommend moving towards those feelings versus running away from them. We all have an affinity for our habits. All too often we stay too long with those habits not because they’re productive but because we’re loyal to them.

A new relationship to anything may appear risky, but truth be told, it’s often riskier to remain in an ineffective environment. The real danger lies in stagnation. We instinctively know that around the world, opponents are training smarter, faster and more efficiently. Remaining in our comfort zone will only leave us behind the competition. To our detriment, our brains will try to sabotage any and all attempts at doing anything uncomfortable. I recommend shifting focus from the negative attitude of “what could go wrong” to the positive attitude of “what could go right.”

Whose responsibility is it to teach coach-ability? The typical response from a parent is, “I assume my child’s coaches are teaching life skills…right?”  Ask a coach and the response is, “Teaching life skills are the responsibility of the parents. They’re paying me to teach their child strokes.” Ideally, these core values are the result of everyone involved in the athlete’s development, with the parents playing the decisive role. Providing children with the opportunity to take responsibility and instill accountability at an early age is not only an essential skill set for coach-ability but a vital life skill. Communication and independent problem-solving skills are the foundations of coach-ability.

“Two core software skills champions need most are millisecond decision making and problem-solving skills. Both of which, are not commonly found in standardized drilling.”

Is Your Athlete Un-Coachable?

A gifted but un-coachable athlete is every coach’s nightmare. The un-coachable athlete displays the following symptoms: showing up late for practice and lacking personal commitment, passion and real effort. These athletes routinely play the blame game, roll their eyes at constructive feedback and are close-minded to improvement. Un-coachable athletes spend the majority of their training sessions defending their poor choices and creating drama.

“Some athletes cling desperately to bad form because they have spent years developing it.”

Being committed to one’s emotional development isn’t a genetic predisposition, it is a learned behavior nurtured by intelligent parents and coaches. Changing a talented yet un-coachable athlete into a coachable athlete takes great emotional aptitude from both the parents and coach.

Improving an athlete’s software (coach-ability) is often a prerequisite for real learning, quicker growth, and maximizing potential. I believe great coaches and parents have to facilitate coach-ability. They have to convince the athlete that change is good, which is key because learning begins with change and change begins with learning.

Emotional modification begins with the athlete being open and honest enough to develop a humble and respectful attitude, competitive drive, and willingness to learn. It includes gratefulness that a coach cares enough and is willing to tackle the un-pleasantries of the task. Teaching discipline, accountability, and responsibility is a very different job description than teaching a topspin backhand.

Let’s Look at the Characteristics of the Coachable Athlete:

  • Willingness to Accept the Coach’s Philosophy
  • Acceptance of the Necessity for Improvement
  • Desire to be Accountable
  • Optimism and Growth Minded
  • Respectfulness
  • Acceptance of Responsibility
  • Letting Go of Excuses
  • Non-Combative Attitude
  • Open-Minded too Constructive Criticism
  • Eager to Receive Feedback
  • Respectful of the Coach’s Knowledge
  • Selflessness
  • Integrity
  • Courageous

It’s astounding how many young athletes self-sabotage their potential by choosing to ignore the above positive characteristics. Coachable athletes are taught life skills development and religiously held accountable for their morals and ethical conduct by their parents and coaches. Parents and athletes, please look for the above positive characteristics of the coachable athlete in your entourage of coaches as well. You can be sure that quality coaches will be looking for the same positive characteristics in their students and their parents.

In the 1st Edition of The Tennis Parents Bible (published in 2010), I wrote about the importance of positive coaching and parenting. A vital take away was the use of the 5-1 compliment to critique rule (verbal and non-verbal). If athletes are to fire their optimistic responses we have to provide the ammunition. I recommend exposing these qualities in timely condensed sessions. Coaches, the above 14 coachable software skills should be discussed in a creative, interactive information exchange that feels like a chat versus a moral lesson.

The Mental and Emotional Sides of Tennis Development

Posted on August 18, 2025 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

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The Importance of Nurturing

A family from Georgia called to book a 3-day customized evaluation session with me in California. Steven, the dad, was a former nationally ranked junior and top college player. Eddy, his 14-year-old son, is a junior competitor. As we began our tennis evaluation, within minutes, I noticed some glaring red flags. Halfway through the morning session, I could tell that Steven wanted Eddy to be a tennis star much more than Eddy.

A lack of athleticism wasn’t the cause of Eddy’s failings in tournament competition. I realized rather quickly what was keeping Eddy from attaining the results he was capable of achieving. Although Eddy was a talented ball striker, he needed a customized development plan to develop the skills essential to becoming an elite athlete.

In our afternoon session, after we bonded a bit, I asked Eddy, “Bro, What are your tennis goals? Where do you see yourself in four years?” Eddy responded, “I don’t know. I mean, I’ll give it a try…if it works out then great. Fed’s life doesn’t look too shabby. I guess I could be a pro like Roger.”

Eddy’s common lackadaisical approach showed interest in the game but lacked commitment, and there’s a big difference between interest and commitment. Athletes merely interested in the sport, train when they feel like it. They train when it conveniently fits into their social calendar. I asked Eddy what was holding him back.  Eddy said, “I don’t know…I just don’t always feel like training.” I added that’s fair because you’ve got to commit to it, to believe in it.” The seed was planted. I simply needed to let it blossom within.

At lunch, I asked Steven if he thought Eddy was committed to excellence. He hesitated and then said, “No but that’s why I brought him cross-country to you. I hear that you’re great at motivating excellence and nurturing that commitment.”

While evaluating Eddy’s hardware (strokes and athleticism) with on-court drills, I began the positive brainwashing process of nurturing his commitment. I reminded Eddy that he had mentioned that his buddy’s at home were all top 20 in his section. “Yeah, and I’m tired of losing early every tournament and being their stupid cheerleader,” I asked him if he thought he was doing all he could to be the best tennis player possible. He responded, “No, probably not…”

All too often naive athletes want the rewards to materialize before the hard work takes place. I mentioned to Eddy several times throughout our three-day evaluation that being committed to excellence means that if he wanted to join his buddies in the top 20, he would have to prioritize his tennis above his social life. Athletes have to train like a world class athlete for years before they ever reach world-class status. I then threw out a couple of goofy life analogies: “You’ve got to chop the wood and build a fire before you feel the heat, right? You’ve got to prepare the soil, plant the seed and work the fields before you can harvest the crop”, right?” Before I could throw out another annoying analogy, Eddy interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah I get it. There are two approaches: Commitment to excellence or acceptance of mediocrity.”  “Right! And either way, you’ve got to live with your decision.” I replied.  At that moment, I sensed that the light bulb went off in his head. I’ve got an idea, “Let’s work through it together and commit for 3-months. After 3-months, if it isn’t working for you, then you’re free to chill and play the sport as a hobby. Give the 100% commitment a shot. I bet that if you put in the effort and stick to your customized developmental plan week in and week out, you’ll transform into a top 20 player by year’s end!”

Six weeks later I got a text from Eddy with a photo of him holding up his first USTA trophy. All it said was, “I just had to climb the mountain…then I was able to see the view. Thanks, Coach!”

Developmental Psychology

“It is not nature versus nurture; it is nature and nurture.”

Today there’s a movement called Developmental Psychology. These experts research the intertwining relationship between genetic and environmental influences. In regards to the athletes’ environmental influences, the two most important influences I’ve witnessed are their parents and coaches. Teachers and older siblings come in a close second. We influence why athletes think the way they think, why they say what they say and why they do what they do. We are the environmental influences that mold their talents and temperaments.

Developmental Psychology researchers use the word plasticity as they discover deeper implications to how humans respond to nurturing. Following are two negative pre-match preparation pep talks given to an athlete’s by his parents. Although both messages lack positive support, it is the way in which the athlete chooses to respond that is interesting.

Toxic Pre Match Parental Pep Talk

“Joseph, if you blow it again this weekend, your mother and I are considering pulling the plug on your tennis. I’ll be taking notes and listing all your shortcomings on my iPad. Don’t blow it! Love, Dad.”

Uninvolved Parent Pre Match Dialog

“Joey, honey… Mommy’s driving into the city to Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale. I have to drop you off at 7:00 a.m. I put lunch money in your bag. Enjoy your little game. I’ll pick you up between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. Mommy.”

Although the first pep talk is clearly negative and soul-wrenching to read let alone experience, the second pep talk is just as negative. A parent that takes no interest in their child’s passion is showing a lack of support and encouragement. Remember, it’s how the athlete chooses to respond that’s critical. Some athletes work hard to prove their parents right. Some fight all their lives to prove their parents wrong. Which of the following responses would you choose?

Response A– The Athletes folds as they feel the lack of parental confidence, love, and support and shortly quit the game. Proving the parents right.

Response B– The athlete applies plasticity as they use their parent’s horrendous pre-match pep talks to motivate better performance. Proving the parents wrong.

Self-Nurturing

I believe that high-performance athletes determined to be the best they can be, have to take nurturing to another level. I call it self-nurturing, and I believe it to be the most important life skill. Self-nurturing is choosing to apply persistence and resiliency in the face of poor outside influences. I’ve witnessed athletes with incredible coaching and parenting who choose to fail, as well as, athletes with absolutely pitiful coaching and parenting who choose to succeed.

If success is in the athlete’s blood, I suggest motivating them to think of the negative people and their words as fuel. Proving someone wrong who doesn’t believe in them is powerful motivation. It’s self-nurturing at its finest. These individuals make the athlete work smarter, harder and longer …all for the reward of proving them wrong. Revenge is funny that way.

Improving self-nurturing skills requires us to put aside our ego and listen to others. I’m not suggesting that you agree with 100% of what they’re saying, but rather consider the context of their words and take a look in the mirror and decide if there’s any truth to their comments. Every one of us has aspects of our life that we can improve.

Coaches, parents, and athletes with a little self-reflection, we can all challenge ourselves in the realm of self-nurturing. To me, self-nurturing is a daily self-educating process. Every industry leader I admire is obsessed with self-improvement. They research relentlessly, attend conferences, read, write books, and take online courses to continue to learn and improve. They expose their deficiencies and make them efficiencies.

“The great self-nurturers of our time are growth mindset individuals who see futuristically, something greater that is currently present.”

Life Skills Maximize Athletic Development

Posted on August 16, 2025 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

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Life Skills Maximize Athletic Development

While at the Easter Bowl Championships a parent came up to me and said “You’re the Tennis Parent Bible guy, right? I have your books, but I’ve got to say, I hate everything about junior tennis. I hate the tournament directors, the insane hours, the cost of equipment, the crazy travel schedule, and the lessons are a waste of time. My daughter’s coaches aren’t teaching her a stinking thing. She just lost second round again this year!”

I politely waited for her to take a breath and we began a conversation:

Frank: “Hi… Yes, I’m Frank. What’s your name?”
Kathryn: “I’m Kathryn,” she said as she crossed her arms in front of her.
Frank: “Hi Kathryn. I have about 30 minutes before my player’s match. Can we chat for a few minutes?” Kathryn rolled her eyes, so I immediately asked, “Your daughter is obviously a very talented player to be playing the Easter Bowl. Can you think of a handful of reasons you could be grateful?”
Kathryn: “No… Not a one!” She barked.
Frank: “Kathryn, what’s your daughter’s ranking?”
Kathryn: “Oh, around 30 in the Nation.”
Frank: “Top 30 in the Country is outstanding! Isn’t that something both you and your daughter should be proud of?”
Kathryn: “I mean…I guess so.”
Frank: “Has she been offered a full-ride college scholarship?”
Kathryn: “Yes, of course! She has about a dozen schools courting her, but she is only interested in USC.”
Frank: “Now that’s something to be grateful for- a dozen D-1 Universities wanting your daughter to play for them!”
Kathryn: “Well…that’s true.”

Frank: “I bet you guys have seen some cool parts of the world as she has competed in National and ITF tennis events.”
Kathryn: “Oh yes! We’ve been throughout the country, the Caribbean, the Middle East, Canada and Europe.”
Frank: “Aren’t you grateful for that time together with your daughter?”
Kathryn: “Yes, I am… and we did have great fun on those trips.”
Frank: “Can you tell me about the life lessons learned from participating in the sport?”
Kathryn: “What do you mean?”
Frank: “You know… time management, resiliency, and organizational skills to name a few?”
Kathryn: “You’re right. There have been so many life lessons and blessings that have come from playing this game.”
Frank: “Kathryn, the healthiest of all emotions is gratitude, and in 5 minutes you just revealed so much to be grateful for… and there’s plenty more if you choose to look in the right direction.”
Kathryn: “I needed that pep talk. Can I give you a hug?”

We have all heard that sports teach life skills, but did you know the opposite is also true? Well nurtured life skills and character improves athletic potential at a quicker rate.

“Life skills improve the developmental plan which in-turns skyrocket athletic potential.”

World class coaches and parents must intentionally see life skills as essential attributes that need to be acquired, practiced, and perfected in and out of the athletic arena.  Being equipped with life skills will not only improve the athlete’s competitive match performance but will inevitably have a positive effect on the sustainability of their customized developmental plans.

Obviously, well-developed life skills are highly transferable to other areas of the athletes’ lives.  It is important to note that the vast majority of tennis athletes do not partake in competitive tennis as a lifelong career.  However, the following list of essential life skills will last a lifetime, enabling them to evolve successfully into the next phase of their life.

Life Skills Development

Parents and coaches, I highly encourage setting aside time to increase your athlete’s mental toughness and emotional aptitude.  Arrange a classroom session or non-hitting homework assignment weekly.  Ask each serious-minded student to Google or YouTube, the following 20 essential life skills and draft a paragraph describing their customized developmental plan to improve each skill.

Time Management

The time management life skill is the ability to use one’s time efficiently or productively. A successful athlete with strong time management skills would organize daily, weekly, and monthly planners to assist in scheduling the development of each of the four major components (technical, athletic, mental, and emotional) essential to compete at the higher levels.

Adaptability

The adaptability life skill is being able to adjust to different situations and conditions comfortably. To get the most from your physical talent, one must be open to change. Adapting is emotional intelligence at work.

“No athlete has ever reached their full potential without learning to overcome stress,
fear, and discomfort. Life skills are essential.”

Handling Adversity

Handling adversity is a critical athletic and life skill. Competition brings hardship, drama, and suffering along with the positive attributes. Overcoming daily problems is a driving force of champions. Seeing adversity as a challenge versus a life or death crisis is vital.

Handling Stress

Stress causes physiological and mental tension. It occurs when one believes that their physical skills aren’t strong enough to meet the challenge.  While some personalities stress more than others, proper preparation and a positive attitude dramatically reduce stress levels.

Perseverance

Perseverance is one’s ability to stay on course through setbacks, discouragement, injuries, and losses. It is the ability to fight stubbornly to achieve greatness.

“The most meaningful lessons come from the toughest losses…If the student is willing to listen.”

Courage

Courage is the ability to apply belief in your skills in spite of the threat at hand. A courageous athlete knows that competition in sports is to be embraced and not feared. Courage is not allowing oneself to listen to the typical noise of “What if I lose?”

Work Ethic

Work ethic is a diligent, consistent standard of conduct. Strengthening physical, mental and emotional components and the attainment of goals is dependent on a deliberate customized plan and hard work.

Resiliency

Resiliency is the capacity to recover and adjust to difficulties. Champions fall, hurt and fail just like us, but they have preset protocols to adapt and press on. Winners aren’t always the most intelligent or even the strongest athletes in the event.  They are often the individuals who respond with the best adjustments after misfortunes.

“Great performances stem from a peaceful heart.  So after mistakes, forgive yourself quickly.”

Goal Setting

Goal setting is the process of identifying something that you want to accomplish with measurable goals. Dreams are a great start, but the work begins when both specific performance improvement goals and outcome goals have action plans and target dates. Setting daily, monthly and long-term goals build the emotional strength you seek.

Sticking to Commitments

Commitments are obligations that restrict freedom of action. Staying loyal to a written action plan separates the champion from the part-time hobbyist. Hobbyists train when it’s convenient. Committed athletes put their sport above their social calendar.

Determination

Determination is the power to persist with a singular fixed purpose. Champions are stubbornly tenacious to reach their goals. Champions often begin as average athletes with abnormal determination.

Problem-Solving Skills

Identifying the problem is only the first step. Step two is to isolate the causes of the problem. Step three is then to customize the solution to the problem. Creative problem solving requires digging deeper rather than merely identifying the flaw.

“When dealing with gamesmanship, mature athletes do not give the drama more importance then intelligently remaining on script.”

Spotting Patterns and Tendencies

Patterns and tendencies are an individual’s predisposition to act repeatedly. Spotting reoccurring behavior is essential to understanding your strengths and weaknesses as well as defeating a worthy opponent.

Discipline

Discipline is behavior that is judged by how well it follows a set of rules. It is one of the most important emotional elements that turn dreams and goals into accomplishments. It often requires you to choose to train when you’d rather be socializing. Discipline is painful but not nearly as painful as losing to people you should be beating.

Sportsmanship

Sportsmanship is the underlying respect for the game, the rules governing the sport, the opponents and the officials. It’s giving it your all and playing with confidence and pride regardless of the outcome.

Focus

Focus is the ability to centralize your attention. Examples include adhering to short-term goals, such as a single play, point or game, all the way towards attaining long-term goals, such as playing a junior Grand Slam or being offered a college athletic scholarship.

“Improving involves cleaning out the clutter. Adding more isn’t always the answer. Often, solutions stem from doing less.”

Preparation Skills

The life skill of being prepared is especially important in athletics. Preparing properly for battle is one of the most neglected aspects of intermediate athletes. Success begins with total preparation. It is indeed the key to preventing a poor performance.

Persistence

Persistence is the continued passion for action in spite of opposition. You need constant energy devoted to your sport, anything less means that you’re a hobbyist. Persistence gets you to the top. Consistency with that persistent frame of mind keeps you there.

“Don’t confuse busy work with productive growth. Practice in the manner you are expected to perform.”

Dedication

Dedication is the quality of being committed to a purpose.  Dedication to a sport requires passion and commitment to strive for daily improvement. Lazy, non-athletic people use the word “obsessed” to describe the dedicated athletes.

Positive Self-Image

Strong emotional aptitude starts with positive self-esteem. Trusting yourself is a key to competing freely. Changing the negative self-talk into positive internal dialog is a great start.

“Strong competitive character at crunch time stems from life lessons developed.”

The following chapter uncovers the importance of nurturing and motivating athletes, which involves changing negative attitudes and the unhealthy mental habits that are keeping them from reaching their potential.

Tennis and Emotional Aptitude

Posted on July 11, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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Preface to Emotional Aptitude in Sports by Frank Giampaolo

Competitive athletes are found in almost every corner of the globe. It is common to see National Championships in every age division from 9 years old to 90 years young and in almost every sport imaginable. In today’s competitive athletic arena, emotional aptitude is essential.  Most players enter the game intently focused on improving technical (fundamentals), mental (strategic) and athletic components. Unfortunately, emotional control supersedes athletic, mental and fundamental development during competition.  Under-developed emotional skill sets debilitate an athlete’s developed strengths- just when they are needed the most…  Remember the quote?

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”
                                                      Mark Twain

My bet is that Mark Twain was referring to emotional aptitude. Emotional Aptitude in Sports delves into why athletes with seemingly solid games continue to lose … and lose often as a result of choking and/or panicking under stress. My fascination with this common athletic obstacle led me to research the science of emotional intelligence. It was the work of Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in 1980’s that inspired NY Times writer Daniel Goleman to write the groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence. Goleman collaborated with David McClelland, who was among a group of Harvard researchers interested in cognitive intelligence versus emotional intelligence. Goleman argued that it was not cognitive intelligence that guaranteed business success but emotional intelligence.

Given the importance of emotional intelligence in business success, I began to see the similarity emotional intelligence had on athletes- separating the successful athlete from the unsuccessful athletes. I found that unsuccessful athletes don’t necessarily lack technique, but lack emotional aptitude- which often holds them hostage. Decades of observation has proven to me that strong emotional aptitude is far more important than perfect form in athletic competition. At the higher levels of sports, every athlete has solid fundamentals. Despite being incredibly talented individuals, in the heat of battle, tremendous athletic assets abandon those that lack developed emotional skill sets.

In competitive sports, the parameters in which players are expected to perform are far different than repetitive non stressful practice environments. Athletes expecting to perform identical series of movements/skills mastered in practice are often disappointed in actual competition.

Competition inherently involves uncontrollable variables that requires the adjustment of form. Examples include:

  • The Athlete’s Physical, Mental or Emotional State on the Day of Competition
  • Different Speeds, Spins, Angles and Trajectories of Incoming Balls
  • Different Speeds, Spins, Angles and Trajectories of Outgoing Balls
  • The Athlete’s Body Language, Balance and Stability
  • Different Strategic and Tactical Options Required
  • Varying Environmental Conditions
  • Playing Surface Variations
  • Movement Issues From Standing Still to the Dead Run
  • Time Management (Less Time/More Time Available)
  • Minute Body Link Variations and Adjustments 
  • Opponent’s Styles, Position and Skill Sets

In most sports, adaptable techniques are repeatable sequences of expectations, anticipation, reaction, movement, spacing, coordination and balance followed
by biomechanically efficient fundamentals.

The pressure of competition increases the need for strong emotional aptitude. I believe a missing link in many players’ developmental routines is not understanding when to shift focus from “perfect form” to “solid form with adaptable technique” under the pressure of competition. Far too many intermediate athletes continue to devote 100% of their time and energy toward perfecting technique and ignoring emotional skill set training.  Failure to recognize the importance of performance under stress stunts an athlete’s growth.  How an athlete handles adapting to the variables of competition under stress requires strong emotional aptitude.

In my opinion, athletes, parents and coaches obsessed with one dimensional training are stuck in the slow lane to greatness… hoping for no road blocks along the way. While those in the fast lane are developing the preset protocols to maneuver around those road blocks which maximize player potential at the quickest rate.

Emotional Aptitude in Sports serves as a wakeup call for anyone who is tired of coming up short in competition and is ready to do something about it.  Welcome to a greater understanding of you!

Avoidance versus Exposure

Posted on July 2, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

For The Psychology of Tennis Parenting (AUDIO VERSION): Click Here

Change Equals Improvement

“Everything Measurable Can Be Improved.”

Avoidance versus Exposure

Although avoidance can lead to temporary relief from anxiety, the avoidance approach typically creates deeper fear in the future. By putting off solutions, athletes unknowingly multiply their anxiety about the topic. Exposure strategies are more proactive. They lead to a way out of the drama while minimizing stress in the future. What helps an athlete improve? Avoidance or exposure? In the world of performance anxieties, the answer is more exposure. But what do most athletes choose? Avoidance.

Sometimes the most profound tip is the simplest. New, correct pathways often change athletic careers. The old saying is, “What you resist persists.” Teaching your youngster that avoidance can increase anxiety isn’t an easy sell, which is why most teaching professionals avoid it. Keeping lessons light decreases the drama of facing real issues, so most tennis pros avoid changing anything serious. If your athlete is hesitant to face their fears, these few tips should help.

Solution: Deciding on a plan and then putting it into action begins with sitting down and talking with your athlete. Start the conversation by acknowledging that you feel anxious about a particular topic and then ask them about their true feelings towards the issue. Let them know you want to support them and enjoy your time together through their tennis journey.

Remind them that it’s no accident that “Unshakeable” athletes are the way they are. It’s not by CHANCE …but by CHOICE. Next, nudge them in the direction that the most crucial component to control in the world of competition isn’t the drama; it’s their reaction to the drama. Then bring to light the reoccurring drama in your athlete’s matches and devise those customized solutions.

Competitive Pressure Triggers

Competitive pressure triggers are some of the most common stressors found in junior tennis. Guiding athletes to step beyond stroke mechanics allows them to look into the face of their match time anxieties. What are the athlete’s fears, worries, and anxieties? Most juniors stress out about a few of these pressure triggers. Identifying your athlete’s stressors starts here in the below top 10 stressors list.

Solution: After identifying the cause of your athlete’s panic, it’s time to ask their coach to help plug in a customized solution. Every topic that causes pressure needs more exposure. The problems lie in that most junior athletes avoid the difficulties they should be focusing on in hopes that they will go away. So, what will help your athlete conquer their performance anxieties, avoidance, or exposure?

Competitive Pressure Triggers

  1. Scoring Systems / Certain Stages of The Competition/Start Times
  2. Opponent’s Style of Play/Personality
  3. Gamesmanship
  4. Draw/Seeding
  5. Spectators/Cameras
  6. Environment/Conditions
  7. Court Surface
  8. Current Fitness/Energy Levels -Pain Tolerance Threshold
  9. Untrustworthy Mechanics
  10. Outcome Anxieties.

Any topics that cause the athlete stress should be discussed. Solutions to overcoming the athlete’s pressure riggers should be put into place.

Tennis: Thriving Versus Suffering

Posted on June 28, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

For The Psychology of Tennis Parenting (AUDIO VERSION): Click Here

“Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t get with the work you didn’t do.”

The Suffering

Izzy is a tall, quintessential California girl. When she walks into a club, heads turn, looking like the real deal. At age 16, she appears to be a WTA superstar in the making. Her father is sure that she’ll be on tour soon. Her coaches shake their heads because she looks like she could be world-class, but they know, at this rate, she won’t.

Unfortunately, with her current mindset, she’s spiraling downward. You see, she wants the rankings without the hard work. The rewards and not the struggle. The prestige, not the process. Izzy’s in love with the fan fair, not the fight. To Izzy, suffering is felt as a personal defeat. Having to work hard is something naturally gifted athletes don’t have to do. Sadly, triumph doesn’t work that way.

Solution: Izzy will have a shot at greatness if she buys into hard work and discipline. A less physically gifted athlete with a better work ethic will outperform a more physically talented athlete with a weaker work ethic. For all athletes, including the physically gifted, properly handling the pain of training determines success. Who you are is defined by how hard you are willing to work.

Intangibles

In our world, intangibles are software skills directly related to the character traits of a future college team member. Character traits are the core values and moral qualities present in an individual. Please remember that parents of college-bound athletes have very important jobs. One is the education of the below positive character traits.

“Sports don’t teach the below skills…they expose them.”

The leaders in high-performance tennis have nurtured these skills. These intangibles are educated by choice and not left to chance.

Solution: Plan on taking time daily to educate your child about the below topics:

  1. Grit: Courage and resolve; strength of character
  2. Motivation: The reason or reasons for attaining your goals.
  3. Trustworthiness: The ability to be relied on as honest or truthful.
  4. Gratitude: The appreciation of actions and benefits bestowed upon you.
  5. Accountability: The condition of being responsible for your actions.
  6. Commitment: The position of being dedicated to your cause.
  7. Respectfulness: A curious regard for others’ feelings or situations.
  8. Integrity: Having a solid moral compass and principles
  9. Honesty: Acting with fairness and righteous conduct.
  10. Effort: The amount of energy put into an attempt.
  11. Innovative: Applying creative problem-solving and advanced thinking.
  12. Competency: The ability to perform efficiently and successfully.
  13. Loyalty: A strong feeling of support or allegiance to your supporters.
  14. Ethics: The morals and principles that govern your behavior.
  15. Patience: The capacity to tolerate delay or suffering without getting upset.
  16. Desire: A deep feeling of acquiring something or wishing for it to happen.
  17. Sincerity: The quality of being free from pretense and deceit.
  18. Open-Mindedness: The willingness to consider new ideas without prejudice.

In the eyes of a future NCAA College Coach, these character traits are equally important to your athlete’s topspin backhand.

Parental Stressors

Understanding how to handle parental stressors allows you to thrive in this high-pressure environment. Parents would be wise to build coping strategies to thrive along this journey. Left unattended parental stress can have a very negative impact on your athlete’s mental health and performance ability.

But what exactly are these stressors, and how can parents identify them to adjust and ultimately limit the negative impact they can have on their athlete?

Solution: Read the following everyday stressors and identify which stressors may be affecting your life. The goal as a tennis parent is to create a plan for dealing with stressors, as they will surely be ever-present.

Organizational Stressors

  • Coaching Issues
  • Practice Scheduling/Coordination
  • Tournament Scheduling
  • Equipment Management
  • Interpersonal Conflicts
  • Perceived Lack of Support from Organization
  • Travel Logistics

Match Day Stressors

  • Outcome Wants
  • Injuries
  • Gamesmanship
  • Nervousness
  • Untrustworthy Mechanics
  • Tournament Draw

Personal Stressors

  • Lifestyle Issues
  • Work Commitments
  • Lack of Personal Time
  • Financial Issues
  • Social Factors
  • Outside Commitments

Considering how much we love our children and how much the family is committed to our children’s careers, feeling stressed can all be normal reactions to the competitive tennis world. If stress is getting the best of you, I suggest taking breaks from watching practice sessions or event tournament play. Avoid negative tennis parents that upset you. Finally, take care of your health. Make time to exercise and reconnect with your non-tennis friends.

Thriving vs. Suffering

We know that the lion’s share of gifted athletes never sees the higher levels of the sport. They possess the apparent physical ability but fall short of the psychological traits needed at the higher levels. What are the distinguishing factors that separate the athletes who thrive in the later years of high-performance tennis versus those phenoms who show great promise and then suffer and burn out?

Solution: Twelve software topics to discuss:

  1. Frustration Tolerance: The best athletes can remain calm under adversity.
  2. Focus Ability: This allows the top athlete to stay in the moment, match after match.
  3. Seek Growth: Trust in the learning process. With losses and setbacks comes the opportunity for improvement.
  4. Conquer Fear: They compartmentalize their worries and focus on their performance goals.
  5. Confidence Is Nurtured: Inner belief is promoted as a form of positive brainwashing.
  6. Effort and Sacrifice: Without self-discipline, physical talent is wasted.
  7. A Sense of Gratitude: Appreciating the journey.
  8. Innate Ability to Fight: Keeping their foot firmly on the gas from the first point until they cross the finish line.
  9. Courage: To make bold, quick, Intelligent decisions at crunch time.
  10. Optimism: In every division, to be the best, one must beat the best, which requires inner belief.
  11. Leadership: They bring out the best in themselves and those around them
  12. Ability to Suffer: Grit, resiliency, and the capacity to handle hardships.

By understanding and applying these software essentials, your athlete will thrive under the typical game-day stress of competition.

Opponent Profiling: Understanding Their Perspective

Posted on April 21, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

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Understanding Their Perspective

William: “I know me and how I’d play me. I respect that my opponents will figure things out.”

For an athlete to excel in opponent profiling, it is essential to go beyond surface-level observation and understand your opponent’s perspective. By putting yourself in their shoes, you can gain valuable insights. This chapter explores the significance of thinking like them and how it allows you to anticipate their actions and stay one step ahead in competition.

1 Thinking Like Them

Recognize the benefits of understanding their competitive strengths, mindset, and motivations. Understanding how opponents should play you opens a deeper understanding of your own efficiencies and deficiencies.

2 Psychological Factors

Analyze their mental strengths and mindset under pressure. This analysis is done between points and during changeovers. Their ability to apply the second performance (between point resets) and change over time exposes their experience level. Use this knowledge to continue to exploit their vulnerabilities as the match progresses.

3 The Chess Game

Understand what type of points they think you prefer. The types of points you dislike play a part in their mindset. Be aware of their ability to shut down your favorite play and adjust accordingly. At the higher levels, they’re profiling you as well.

This chapter explored the importance of putting yourself in your opponent’s shoes to understand their perspective. Recognizing their competitiveness helps you understand what kind of fight you’re in. Cultivating psychological profiling gives you a glimpse into their mind and emotional resiliency.

College Scholarship: What Questions Should We Ask?

Posted on April 8, 2025 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

Updated Edition of How to Attract A College Athletic Scholarship – Click Here

First, look at the questions the athletes should ask themselves. What are my needs and wants regarding academics, campus life, and athletic services offered? What are the hidden costs to consider?

ACADEMICS AND CAMPUS LIFE

  • Does the size and location of the campus appeal to you?
  • Are the programs and majors offered of interest to you?
  • What is the graduation rate of student-athletes?
  • Inquire about the dorms, dorm size, the number of roommates, and the location of the athletic facility, gym, cafeteria, and library.
  • What’s the cost of student/athlete housing?
  • What is the cost of off-campus housing?
  • Do the students/athletes have to live on campus all four years?
  • Research the weather and Geography of the region. Is it appealing?
  • Do you desire to live in a small town or a big city?
  • What is the average class size?
  • Who teaches first-year classes? Professors or teaching aids?
  • Are guidance counselors or advisors assigned and accessible to you?
  • Are tutors assigned to you for a certain number of hours weekly for all four years? (This is common for top athletes).
  • What are the special programs available to student-athletes?
  • What are the social activities available on or around the campus?
  • Explore campus life. How’s the food in the cafeteria? How old is the equipment in the gym or the database in the library?
  • Is Food & Beverage covered?
  • How many cafeteria and fueling stations are available on campus?
  • Does the athletic department pay for summer school courses?
  • Does the athletic department pay for 9th/10th semester courses if necessary?
  • Are there internships and job placement opportunities the school provides upon graduation?
  • Are there alumni services and networking opportunities?

ATHLETIC SUPPORT AND SERVICES

  • Does the college provide full time, on-site physical therapy to injured athletes?
  • Does the college provide a medical staff on call for student-athletes?
  • What is the University’s procedure if you decide to leave school before graduation to turn professional; can you return at a later time to complete your degree at no charge?
  • Are you allowed to join a sorority or fraternity? Are you allowed to ski or partake in risky endeavors that may cause injury?
  • Is the athletic facility state of the art? How many in-door and out-door courts? How are the locker rooms?
  • Understand the style and philosophy of both the head coach and the assistant coach. How many private training sessions will you be receiving a week?
  • Ask about the equipment manager, racket stringing, off-court trainers, and sport-specific staff.
  • How long has the coach been at that school? Is he/she happy there?
  • Who sponsors the athletic programs? Nike? Adidas? Do you receive free clothes, shoes, equipment, bags?
  • Print out the schedule of home matches and away matches, tournaments, or special events, how much travel is scheduled? What’s the weekly on-court practice schedule? What’s the off-court training schedule? Does it fit your ability and needs?
  • Research the teammates. Are they Americans or foreigners? What language do they speak? What are their goals? Investigate their background and how they interact with each other. Do they respect the coaching staff?
  • Do they shower daily? Are they optimistic or pessimistic about the program?
  • Research the team’s strength in relation to the league. What would your position be on the squad? Keep in mind that coaches recruit with hopes to replace the better players. Next year, if a new Phenom joins the team, where will you fit? Is the coach planning on playing you in the starting lineup or as a practice partner?

It is more detailed than you thought. Figure on emailing about ten universities. Then, plan on running through these questions with a minimum of 5-6 schools. I then recommend visiting at least three schools before deciding. Consider arranging an overnight stay with one of the current athletes in their dorm room or apartment. Ask these questions again (to the current player) and see if the answers are still the same.

Remember that finding the right fit academically and athletically takes time and lots of it! From the start of your athlete’s freshman year of high school, parents should plan on devoting a few hours each week to their child’s college search.

NOTE: Official rules and regulations of the NCAA and individual schools must be acknowledged and complied with throughout the college search process.

ADDITIONAL HIDDEN COST:

  1. Inquire about the details of the scholarship/grants. What exactly do they include and not include?
  • Tuition
  • Books
  • Tutoring
  • Laptops and supplies
  • Food & beverage
  • Dorms costs
  • Off-campus housing
  • Personal Expenses
  • Personal travel to and from home?
  • Will the athlete need a car at school?
  • Will the athlete need a bike?
  • Entertainment allowance/additional F&B/social clubs?
  • Wardrobe (New environmental necessities?)
  • Additional customized private tennis training?

Additional costs multiply quickly, so consider these when choosing the right University.

In the next section, we will be diving into the details of college divisions, types of scholarships offered, and associations you will want to get acquainted with during your search. Grab a cup of coffee because we will be covering everything you didn’t even know … you needed to know about your college search process.