Tag Archives: mental tennis

Tennis-Trials and Tribulations

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The following is an excerpt from Frank’s writings.

Trials and Tribulations

“Losing is part of the game. It forces you to grow.”

In high performance tennis, triumph and tribulation intertwine daily. It’s here that exists an invaluable truth: losses are the steadfast companions of champions. Champions lose and lose often in their developmental stages. Competition is where your character and skills are forged. This is where greatness is sculpted. 

2.1 Learning From The Greats

Consider the tennis greats. Behind their success lay countless battles lost and moments of heartache. Each defeat was not the end, but a vital chapter in their story of growth. They understood that setbacks were not indicators of weakness, but rather invitations to become stronger, more adaptable, and more determined.

2.2 Embracing Losses 

Embracing misfortune means acknowledging that the road to success is not a straight line but a pathway filled with peaks and valleys. It means recognizing that setbacks are not stumbling blocks, but rather stepping stones toward mastery. By adopting this mindset, you become not a victim of challenges, but a victor over them.

2.3 Shifting Perspectives 

Instead of fearing losses, embrace them as allies on your development. As you navigate tournaments, remember every moment of struggle is an opportunity to hone your physical, mental and emotional skills and refine your character. It’s through losses that you uncover depths of strength and resilience you might never have known otherwise.

In the following chapters, we’ll delve deeper into the transformative power of learning from losses, setting improvement goals, and recognizing the holes in your game. The journey to becoming a champion isn’t just about the wins you accumulate, but the wisdom you gain from each trial. Losses are the very foundation upon which your greatness is built.

The Psychology of High Performance

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The following is an excerpt from The Art of Exceeding.

Let’s explore the psychology of high performance and how personality traits significantly influence your style, approach, and overall decision-making under pressure.

“Your awakening begins by looking inside.”

Frank Giampaolo

The Impact of Your Personality Profile

Identifying the traits of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) helps to uncover your approach to the game. It’s in your best interest to go online and take a free MBTI quiz. Different personality profiles see the game differently, and understanding your genetic predispositions is important. Personality preference is measured along four dichotomies:

  1. Extraversion/Introversion
  2. Sensing/Intuition
  3. Thinking/Feeling
  4. Judging/Perceiving

The MBTI provides a simple way to recognize your genetic predisposition with a combination of the four dichotomies- creating a four-letter acronym that reflects your most dominant functions.

Examples of The Power of Profiling

Personality profiling assists parents, coaches, and athletes to understand how individuals gather information and make decisions. Identifying your personality profile explains why you are naturally good at some things and uncomfortable with others.

The following are observations of the different profiles as they relate to high performance. You’ll uncover your personality profile by identifying the most appropriate profile in each of the four categories.

“View the following typographies the same way you view right or left-handed athletes. Athletes have a dominant (preferred) system and an auxiliary system.”

Frank Giampaolo

Introverts (I) versus Extroverts (E)

Introvert Athletes

1) Reserved, reflective thinkers.

2) Prefer concrete advice versus abstract thinking.

3) Need quiet, alone time to recharge their batteries.

4) Energy-conserving, private and quiet individuals.

Extrovert Athletes

1) Enjoy the energy of group clinics.

2) Enjoy the limelight and center stage.

3) Easily bored with mundane repetition.

4) Work best in short attention span type drills.

“Introverts can extrovert and extroverts can introvert. We all have dominant and auxiliary brain functions.”

Frank Giampaolo

Sensate (S) versus Intuitive (N)

Sensate Athletes

1) Choose to make decisions after analyzing.

2) Often hesitate in competition due to overthinking.

3) Thrive on the coach’s facts versus opinions.

4) Success is based on personal experience, not theory.

Intuitive Athletes

1) Trust their gut instinct and hunches over detailed facts.

2) Often do first and then analyze second.

3) Apply and trust their imagination with creativity.

4) Learn quicker by being shown versus lengthy verbal explanations.

“Working within one’s genetic guidelines is like swimming downstream. Working against one’s genetic predisposition is like swimming upstream.”

Frank Giampaolo

Thinkers (T) versus Feelers (F)

Thinker Athletes

1) Impersonalize competition in a business fashion.

2) Thrive in private lessons versus group activities.

3) Less influenced by emotions than other brain designs.

4) Relates to hardware training over software training.

Feeler Athletes

1) Often put others’ needs ahead of their own.

2) Strong need for optimism and harmony.

3) Struggle with unfair situations.

4) Usually outcome-oriented versus process-oriented.

“A gender stereotype myth is that females are feelers and males are thinkers.”

Frank Giampaolo

Judgers (J) versus Perceivers (P)

Judger Athletes

1) Prefer planned, orderly, structured lessons.

2) Often postpone competing because they’re not 100% ready.

3) Need closure with a task before moving on to the next.

4) Change is uncomfortable and is typically shunned.

Perceiver Athletes

1) Mentally found in the future, not the present.

2) Easily adapts to ever-changing situations.

3) Open to discussing and applying new, unproven concepts.

4) Typically need goal dates and deadlines to work hard.

“High performers who make the most significant gains have parents and coaches aware of each other’s inborn characteristics, which assist in organizing the athlete’s unique developmental pathways.”

Frank Giampaolo

(Excerpt from Frank Giampaolo’s Book: The Soft Science of Tennis)

We’ve explored personality profiling and its impact on your persona. Understanding your personality trait is an eye-opening experience. As you become more attuned to your unique psychological makeup, you’ll design a playing style that aligns with your personality, paving the way for a more fulfilling journey.

YOUR TAKEAWAY CHALLENGE

Go online and take a free Myers-Briggs type indicator quiz. This information assists players, parents, and coaches in understanding how individuals gather information and make decisions. It’s time to look into the sports science of designing a style that aligns with your personality superpowers.

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem

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Bill is a 6 foot lanky 14-year-old who is top 15 in Southern California. Tennis has come very easy to Bill. He is naturally athletic and much taller than his peers. Bill and his folks are convinced he’s on track to becoming an ATP Professional. He attends a local Tennis Academy, where he hits for 4 hours a day on the practice court, playing “catch” back and forth. He is also one of the best juniors at the academy.

Bill’s fundamental strokes are dynamite. He walks on-court cocky, smiling, and confident. During tournaments, however, when matches flip 180 degrees to a game of “keep away” Bill misses a few shots, begins to panic and turns into a completely different person. His verbal outbursts are self-belittling, and his body language and facial expressions are borderline crazy as tear roll down his cheeks.

After reviewing with Bill one of his so-called catastrophic losses, I asked him, “What are your thoughts about your performance?” Bill stated, “I played awful! I am so confused because I beat everyone in practice games, but in real tournament matches, if I miss an easy shot, I freak out and lose all belief. Man, I have no confidence in tough matches. Sometimes I get so upset that I can’t even find my strings and I turn into shank-zilla.  What is wrong with me?”

If strokes and athleticism are the muscles and bones of the athlete, confidence and self-esteem are the heart and soul. Let’s go back in time and review the origins of the words: confidence and esteem.

In Latin, the word confidence means to trust. Self-confidence refers to the athlete’s inner-emotional ability. It’s their opinion of their aptitude to engage and compete successfully. A self-confident person is eager to take on challenges and seeks new opportunities.

In Latin, the word esteem means to appraise. Self-esteem refers to the athlete’s inner emotional view of their self-worth. Athletes with high self-esteem feel secure, confident, and worthwhile.

Nurtured self-confidence and self-esteem typically precede any real athletic accomplishments. Without these soft science skills, athletes often hold themselves back by inaction due to fear and uncertainties. The majorities of athletes do not include emotional training in their tennis development and are not nurtured how to believe in themselves. As a result, emotionally weak competitors often view competition as a high risk activity instead of an opportunity. Some players have tremendous athletic skills but just don’t trust their abilities.

Performing at one’s peak potential in practice is easy because the athletes are not keeping real score so they are aren’t being judged. In tournament competition, judgment is inherent. Once the umpire calls out “LETS PLAY,” mental and emotional fear-based interferences come into view.

Do you ever wonder why some athletes stand up and fight at crunch time, routinely seizing the moment, while others wilt due to self-doubt and lack of courage? The difference lies in their inner belief, confidence, self-trust, and self-esteem.

The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.

  • Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
  • If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
  • If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
  • What is confidence?
  • What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
  • Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
  • What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
  • Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
  • In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
  • Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
  • Where does mediocre training lead?
  • What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
  • Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
  • How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
  • Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
  • How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?

Memories are Malleable

Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)

In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.

Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.

Starting a Brand New Memory System

  1. Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.

These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.

  • Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.

They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.

  • After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to them self.

Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves promoting the negative.

  • Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.

It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family and of course, their supportive coaches.

  • Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.

Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.

Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.

Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.

Tennis- Managing Fear and Risk

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Managing Fear and Risk

I’ve been a high-performance tennis coach for over 30 years. I thrived comfortably in relative obscurity, enjoying the Southern California sun working with nationally ranked junior tennis players and coaching coaches. For 20 of those years, I secretly dreamt of writing my own tennis instructional books to positively impact the coaching industry while traveling the world.

Procrastination dominated those 20 years. I wasn’t willing to take the chance. I lacked the courage to risk leaving my base and losing my successful coaching business if I were to begin traveling. It seemed too dangerous. What if I failed?  What if the books bombed?  What if I wasn’t as smart as I thought?

My internal dialogue was telling me that even though I had something special to share, I shouldn’t risk a good thing. I didn’t have professional speaking experience. Why did I think I could write books?

I intuitively knew that I had to risk leaving relative comfort behind and put my old career in jeopardy in order to attract a larger audience and share my experiences and tennis developmental theories. I researched the fear and risk management process and began writing The Tennis Parents Bible. My goal was simply to complete it and if it helped a single parent or coach along their journey that would be a bonus.

Back then, no one could have told me I would go on to write four, #1 bestsellers, coach the ITF coaches and speak at the largest conferences and grand slams around the world.

Athletes respond to risk and fear differently. In my experience, while most athletes are initially overly cautious, some are overly adventurous. Success and failure in competition greatly depend on how the athlete responds to fear and risk. Results, both positive and negative, stem from repeated behavior. An athlete’s behavior is created by their attitude. Therefore, understanding and managing our athlete’s attitude toward fear and risk is worth exploring.

A great place to start when managing an athlete’s attitude is establishing a baseline of their thoughts and behaviors concerning the following common stumbling blocks. Begin by answering the following question:

  • Do they have an adversity towards fear and risk? Is it extreme or mild?
  • Are they tolerant towards fear and risk?
  • Do they seek out fearful or risky endeavors? Is it extreme or mild?

Athletes possess different degrees of fear and risk depending on the conditions. For example, in competition, one athlete may exhibit extreme tolerance and grit while playing tennis behind the baseline and extreme adversity and fear when attacking the net. Other athletes may excel on the practice court displaying almost flawless stroke production only to shut down, choke or panic in competition. At the other end of the spectrum, some athletes possess no fear and live for the thrill of competition.

“Some extreme athletes hold only mild fear as they seek canoeing over Niagara Falls or bungee jumping over the Bhote Kosi River.”

Most coaches hope that their athlete’s strokes and athleticism have authority and command over their performance, but I believe it’s their emotional aptitude that actually runs the show.

When working with players who have issues with fear and risk, begin by asking yourself the following six questions to identify the athlete’s level of emotional awareness.

  1. What is their cognitive design? Do they understand their brain preferences?
  2. How do they view the feared situation?
  3. Do they appreciate the opportunity to be able to compete?
  4. Are there past bias or experiences they need to let go?
  5. Will they accept a strategic, proactive plan to attack their issues?
  6. Are they willing to train correctly for the mission at hand?

Conquering Fear Stems from a Courageous Plan

A re-occurring message throughout the book is that teaching tennis requires more than teaching the fundamentals of the game. It takes serious interpersonal skills. One necessary interpersonal skill is motivating athletes to dig deeper, push a little harder, and dare to compete in the face of fear. Courage is the ability to persevere and withstand fear. Unfortunately, in match play, fear often dismantles athletic performance.

“Peak Performance happens only when fear doesn’t interfere with the process.”

On the practice court when there’s no real threat of negative judgment fear is minimal. Fear comes to life, in all its raging glory, when the athlete is judged during competition. In the competitive tennis world, fear is emotionally induced by a perceived threat, which is natural. Fear is real and best not to be ignored or treated lightly. Fear changes an athlete’s brain chemistry, upsets the stomach, tenses muscle groups, and directly alters the athlete’s behavior. So I’ll say it again, fear is real and emotional training shouldn’t be ignored.

When fear is interfering with performance, experienced competitors are trained to fight despite the perceived threat. While intermediate competitors, uneducated about the process, tend to freeze or cave into the pressure. I believe that the best way to conquer performance anxieties, such as fear, is to accept that they come with the privilege of competing.

Parents and coaches, simply telling an athlete not to be scared aren’t preparing them for the onslaught of mental or emotional contaminants that will hold them hostage in match play. Overcoming debilitating fear comes from re-routing the athlete’s brain. This entails shifting their focus away from the outcome of the match and toward their preset performance goals. Sounds easy, right?  Wrong! Modifying the brains response to fear has to do with neuroplasticity. Eliminating the strong-lasting inner connections formed by poor mental habits takes time, thought, and daily effort.

Neuroscientists call this pruning. The process of pruning is unlearning by re-routing old, undesirable neural pathways, which form physical, mental or emotional barriers. For example, relax and cross your arms…no really! No one’s looking. Cross your arms in a relaxed state. Now, consciously unwrap your arms and re-cross them the other way. Boom! It doesn’t feel right, does it? This new motor program feels a bit uncomfortable and awkward. The same concept holds true after your spouse re-organizes the kitchen drawers and for two weeks you habitually go to the old spoon drawer only to find dish towels. As the new neuropathways are strengthened, the old pathways are weakened. It is a two-step system: Part one is pruning of the old mental habit, and part two is developing the new mental habit.

Uncle Tommy is 83 years young. In his home, he is kind, relaxed, funny and comfortable to be around. We hang out, watching Blue Blood re-runs and snack on junk food. But when we jump into his 2002 Camry (which we nicknamed “La Bomba”) Uncle Tommy turns the key, and the different environment changes his brains chemistry, his attitude, and his body language. Within minutes, he’s agitated, tense and uncomfortable.

Behind the wheel, Uncle Tommy feels a lack of control. He associates driving with uncontrollable reckless drivers, bumper to bumper traffic, and mayhem, which translates, to fear and risk. When a driver changes lanes without their blinker, Uncle Tommy’s automatic response is to roll down the window and curse them out. I asked my wife if Tommy‘s emotional climate changes every time he drives his car? “Oh yah…every time. It’s embarrassing!” Without re-wiring his agitated head space every time he sits behind the wheel he is strengthening that neural pathway and cementing his emotional response.

Conquering Fear through Desensitization

Let’s use the analogy of Uncle Tommy’s negative association with navigating “La Bomb” through the streets of Los Angeles with a tennis player who has a negative association with navigating tournament competition.

Like Uncle Tommy, some tennis player’s brains chemistry changes for the worst as they prepare for competition. Their attitude and behavior flip due to their preset emotional response to fear and risk.

Whether it’s fear of other drivers or fear of a competitor, disconnecting performance anxieties takes desensitization. This is an ongoing process of exposing the athlete to stress-busting, fear-based drills. These fear busting exercises replicate and expose the athlete to simulated versions of the emotional climate of competition.

The desensitization drills are followed by dress-rehearsal practice sets where pre-set, customized rituals and routines are in place. This pulls the athlete’s attention toward the process instead of the outcome. Repeated exposure diminishes the stronghold anxiety has on the athlete. In sports psychology, they describe it as shifting focus from the “destructive neuropathway to the new enlightened neuropathway.”

By learning and rehearsing a pro-active emotional response to fear, athletes (and even old uncles) can discover that their old belief system was merely a bad habit that formerly held them hostage.

Re-Examining Risk

Neuroscience shows us that it is normal human behavior to focus on what we could lose versus what we could gain. That is why some intermediate athletes play to win, get a comfortable lead then shift to playing not to lose, only to blow the lead. Their focus on avoiding possible pain causes probable pain.

When an athlete no longer fears losing, they embrace risk and play to win until the match is over. With this mindset, competition isn’t threatening. The challenge is seen as a privilege.

Coaches and parents would be wise to remind their athletes that it is common for many athletes to be unknowingly loyal to comfortable mediocrity. Most want to fit in and not stand out. They prefer to protect the status quo and aren’t willing to break their routines that are not working anyway. It’s important for the educators to frequently motivate their athletes to remember that winning more often stems from improving, improving comes from growing, and growing comes from risk.  It is the internal challenge every competitive athlete faces.

The Risk Leads to Reward Philosophy

It’s also important for us as parents and teachers to emphasize to our athletes that risk is inherent in competition. There are reckless risks, and then there are thoughtful, calculated, and inspired risks necessary to beat worthy opponents. Not all necessary risks pay off instantly. Sometimes risk initially leads to losses. Especially when the risky behavior (pattern play, shot selection or stroke) hasn’t been fully developed. When your student attempts the correct shots the moment demands, whether they win or lose, they are improving their mastery of the sport.

“Without appropriate risk-taking, nothing new would ever be accomplished.”

In beginner and intermediate tennis competition, playing it safe and retrieving often pays great dividends. However, in high-performance tennis, it’s a different story. At the higher levels, playing it safe and not taking advantage of appropriate risks is usually a receipt for failure. Without pushing your athletes to embrace risk, they will likely remain stagnant in their growth and predictable in their match play. Athletes who embrace risk are more likely to realize their true potential.

“Athletes have to risk defeat, judgment, pain, and shame to play at their peak potential.

Taking intelligent risks is an essential part of achieving high-performance tennis results.

Managing Risky Players

Like we uncovered in previous chapters, not all athletes share the same cognitive profile. We are all controlled to some extent by our genetic design. While parents and coaches promote the rewards of taking calculated risks to some athletes, it is wise to understand that other cognitive designs need polar opposite training. To these, reckless daredevils, minimizing risk is in their best interest. Some of our athletes aren’t thinking of reasons not to risk; they are thinking why not risk…

Opposite of the timid performers are the reckless athletes who are hard-wired to thrive on risk. In fact, they perform with too much reckless abandon. They are often downright mindless and inattentive to playing high percentage ball. This personality profile doesn’t have limiting beliefs; they have limitless beliefs.

I occasionally work with talented, young juniors who are so overly confident that they are sure they’re going to be #1 in the world next week! Due to their limitless beliefs, nothing is stopping them from routinely attempting low percentage shot selections. Their intuition is skewed, as we watch in horror as these impatient athletes give away relatively easy matches.

With these exciting athletes, I recommend assisting them to play only within their preset comfortable script of play. Firstly, assist them in designing their most proficient serving patterns, return patterns, rally patterns, short ball options and net rushing sequences. Second, practice these exact scripts routinely in place of rallying. Third, bring in a sparring partner and monitor the athlete’s ability to stay on their pre-designed scripts throughout practice sets. Forth, in real tournament play, chart the percentage of points the athlete played on script versus going rogue. In my experience, exceptions follow every rule so shoot for a performance goal consisting of about 75% on script and 25% off script. The athletes should seek excellence and not perfection.

“Champions understand that if they don’t apply intelligent risk, they don’t grow. If they don’t grow, they don’t reach their peak potential. If they aren’t performing at their peak potential, they’re not satisfied with their performance. If they’re not satisfied, they’re not happy. So, happiness stems from risking intelligently.”

Changing Fixed Mindsets

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Changing Fixed Mindsets

Last week two top juniors, Steven and Josh were closing out one of their semi-private, two-hour sparring sessions. Josh from Boca Raton, Fl. has a natural inquisitive growth mindset. Steven, from San Francisco, California, possesses a defeatist attitude with his fixed mindset. Steven’s a perfectionist and believes only perfect performances are acceptable.

As Steven was leaving Josh asked me if he could ask me a couple of questions. While I was packing up my gear, Josh asked, “Being solid at crunch time isn’t something that just happens. It’s something you have to develop, right?” “Absolutely,” I replied. “Well, Steven’s doesn’t think he can win the whole Anaheim tournament next weekend, so he says he doesn’t want to go. He’ll probably fake an injury or something. His story is getting old. I don’t understand why he puts so much pressure on himself to win. Even though I want to win every tournament I enter, I’m happy to play well. You know, one point at a time.  I hope to learn from my losses by working harder to improve. So by competing, I’m increasing my tennis intelligence and raising my level, right?”

I confirmed Josh’s position and then said, “A growth mindset is about the journey of seeking mastery, instead of viewing losses as catastrophic.  You can see losses as information gathering opportunities, and that buddy is why you’re going to be famous!” Josh smiled, rolled his eyes and said “Good talk coach…good talk.”

We’ve all had students who have high IQ’s (Intelligence Quotient) but low EQ’s (Emotional Quotient). These athletes are wired to avoid risk while they witness others thrive in competition.

A challenge within The Soft Science of Tennis is to educate these students that their mindset is only their perception of their abilities. After the athlete’s stroke development is said and done, it’s their optimistic or pessimistic attitude that determines competitive success on the tennis court. It is within the parent and coaches job description to develop the power of belief along with a powerful forehand.

Fixed Mindset individuals innately believe that their abilities are inborn and unchangeable.

Growth Mindset individuals trust that their skill sets can and will be developed and improved.

In my observations, fixed mindset students are typically overly sensitive to being wrong. They see failing in competition as catastrophic. If they lose, it’s often something or someone else’s fault, and constructive criticism is taken as a personal insult. Changing this mindset is one of the most challenging roles of a parent or coach.

Recognize the Negative Dialog

Athletes with a pessimistic viewpoint have a running dialog that continually persuades them that they don’t honestly have enough talent, and if they fail, they will be criticized for trying. Many athletes invent an excuse or injury and avoid competition. By doing so, they keep their dignity and ego in check. The following two solutions will help challenge the fixed mindset worrywart to consider adopting a growth mindset warrior attitude.

Explain That Their Mindset Is a Choice

    Their mental habit is to choose to interpret competition as a serious personal threat. Fixed mindset athletes are typically worried about what could and will go wrong versus what could and will go right. This pessimistic view tears down the will to give 100% effort. Changing from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset is challenging because the athlete has an onslaught of two simultaneous opposing demands. One is the need to suppress their pre-set, negative mental habit and two is to be open to learning to embrace the exact opposite viewpoint.

    Present the Opposing View

    Fixed-mindset athletes need to be reminded that improving and growing requires a metamorphosis into a growth mindset. As these students ramp into tournament mode, be on high alert for their worry, stress, and fears to multiply. They view tournament competition as an event that will expose their shortcomings. It’s our job to present tournament play as a healthy way to assess their development necessary to obtain their goals.

    Warning: Responding and changing their negative banter is emotionally draining even for the well-equipped software developing coach.

    Examples of a fixed mindset approach include:

    Athlete: “I can’t play, my games not perfect yet. I’m not ready.”

    Teacher: “Every time you compete, you learn and improve, and that is the goal.”

    Athlete: “If I don’t compete I won’t fail, and I can keep my pride.”

    Teacher: “The only true failure is being too scared to try.”

    Training the stroke components is only the beginning of a world-class coach’s journey. Having the tools to develop the whole athlete is the end game.

    Religiously Spot the Positive

    On practice days, I recommend applying the laws of attraction. Destroy their pessimistic point of view by asking them to say “yes” after performing a desired stroke or pattern of play. By doing so, it brings to light just how many good strokes they actually hit. This exercise combats their mental habit of focusing on the negative. Success starts by focusing on successes versus failures. It requires changing their doubt in their abilities because their doubt directly undermines their progress.

    Once these pessimists see the progress in their abilities, they begin to show positive character traits and critical newborn life skills.

    Commit to Playing One Game

    On match days, fixed mindset “red flags” are everywhere as they try desperately to self-sabotage their performance. By doing so, they’re building their arsenal of excuses for their ego out. “I would have won, but I didn’t have time to train.” “I could have won if I didn’t have this blister on my thumb.”

    Also, typical with fixed mindset athletes is to try desperately to back out of competition the morning of the match.

    The negotiation tactic I recommend is to ask them to enjoy their pre-match preparation and commit to playing at least one game. If the athlete still wants to default out after one game, that’s fine. Once in the match, they almost always see that the environment is not as threatening as they perceived. The opponent’s not as good as they imagined. So they play a few more games.

    Teach my growth mindset philosophy: You have to be present to win. Opportunities and incredible victories present themselves if the athletes are willing to try.

    Benefits of Competition for Fixed Mindsets

    Many undeniable, positive aspects stem from tournament competition. Advantages include:

    • Competition keeps us honest: It allows us to assess our strokes and movement efficiencies and deficiencies. Exposing our strengths and hiding our weaknesses is an important function of match play.
    • Competition assists us in the art of opponent profiling. Without match play, there’s no dissecting because there are no opponents.
    • Competition exposes our mental fortitude. The ability to stay on Script (your customized game plan), strategy and tactics the match demands.
    • Competition through failure and success helps us develop the massive list of life skills, positive character traits, and a moral compass.
    • Competition aids in developing consistent quality. Winning a 64 draw event requires peak performance for approximately 15 sets.
    • Competition assists us in customizing our future developmental schedules. It’s not the quantity of on-court time; it’s the quality that counts.

    Tennis mastery is a process of continuous adaptation and improvement, which is a growth mindset system.

    Eliminating Internal Judgment

    The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

    Eliminating Internal Judgment

    My neighbor, Pete, owns Pete’s Home Repair Specialist. He’s a super friendly independent contractor. Due to his excellent soft science personal skills, Pete’s always in high demand.  His decades of experience have taught him that detailed preparation prevents poor performance. Pete’s truck is like an encyclopedia of tools organized by alphabet and ready for action. Though Pete doesn’t need all of his tools at every job, he brings every tool, just in case he needs it.

    This analogy is very similar to a high-performance tennis player’s tool belt. In matches, they may not need to employ every skill set developed in their tool belt, but they do need to have primary and secondary strokes ready for competition, as well as multiple patterns and plays developed and prepared to be accessed if needed. Life skills, such as preparation improve the athlete’s confidence, inner dialogue, and of course, solution-based self-coaching skills.

    “In the heat of battle, the voice inside each athlete is their driving force.”

    In match play, an athlete’s internal dialogue is their self-coaching. Internal dialogue is the conversation their ego is having with themselves. Athletes have a habitual way they choose to navigate their matches. When they see competition in a negative light, their internal dialogue is dark. Conversely, when they “see pressure as a privilege,” to quote Billy Jean King, their self-coaching is more positive, uplifting, and optimistic. The question is: Where did the athlete learn their internal dialogue mantras?

    An athlete’s negative, problem-oriented inner dialogue sabotages their performance by interfering with their quiet mind. To some athletes, negative inner dialogue spirals them into a self-defeating, under-arousal state. To others, it pushes them into a panicked, over-arousal state. Both are detrimental to performance. As I mentioned earlier, an athlete’s non-stop inner dialogue is either helping or hurting their performance. Intermediate athletes are known to sabotage their play by criticizing themselves, worrying about losing and inventing post-match catastrophic conclusions during competition.

    How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution#1:
    Video Analysis

    One method of combating the athlete’s negative self-dialogue begins with videotaping tournament matches and providing non-hitting match play video analysis. This process accesses the specific stressful environment that needs to be studied.

    As the high IQ coach quantifies the match data alongside the athlete, I recommend identifying how the athlete’s inner dialogue helped or hurt their performance.  Were they able to self-coach successfully?  When providing match play analysis, remember to apply the five optimistic comments for every one pessimistic statement. Following are video analysis topics the athlete and coach would be wise to discuss.

    Match Play Video Analysis

    • Strokes & Movement Efficiencies & Deficiencies
    • Anticipatory Efficiencies & Deficiencies
    • Staying on Script. (Top 7 Patterns)
    • Opponent Profiling
    • Between Point & Change-Over Rituals & Routines
    • Emotional Control
    • Focus Control
    • Cause of Errors
    • Court Positioning Cause & Effect
    • Score Management

    Athletes who are trained to monitor their emotions and inner dialogue via post-match video analysis are much more likely to become aware of the software complexities of competition.

    How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #2:
    Judgments through Comparisons

    Judgmental thoughts typically stem from past or future thought comparisons. Typical thoughts of comparison in the heat of battle include, “Jason beat this dude. I can’t lose, I’ve got to prove I’m better than Jason,” “Kristin is ranked below me, and if I lose today, she’ll take my spot on the team,” “What are my parents and coaches going to say if I lose?” “Here I go…Choking again!”

    Judgmental thoughts play havoc in the minds of our competitive athletes every day. Athletes in competition, with judgmental comparison thoughts, contaminate the match play process, which results in fighting two opponents, simultaneously- their negative thoughts and the real opponent.

    Advanced athletes seeking better results often don’t have to learn more technical skills; they have to shift their attention to developing better self-communication skills. Keep in mind that the athlete’s inner voice will be with them long after they stop competing on the tennis court. Isn’t it worth the time to assist them in developing their lifelong self-coaching tools? Winning is much more likely when our athletes understand the art of self-coaching.

    How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution # 3:
    Positive Inner Dialog

    The third method of conquering the athlete’s negative inner dialogue is through positive self-coaching with Neuro Priming. It is estimated that individuals have roughly 60,000 thoughts per day. Trading in a turbulent mental state for a relaxed, calming proactive state is essential.

    What is Neuro Priming and why is it an essential addition to an athlete’s preparation? Neuro Priming is the science of preprogramming the athlete’s inner trust in their match solutions.

    Mental rehearsals customize each athlete’s positive inner dialogue by organizing their physical, mental and emotional solutions into audio recordings in their voice. Listening to one’s inner dialogue audio tapes increases tennis IQ, reprograms old pessimistic beliefs, changes negative behaviors, speeds up the learning process, increases focus, assists the athletes in quickly fixing stroke flaws, staying on their script of patterns, coping with stress, nervousness and the fear of failure. Neuro Priming isn’t meant to replace on-court physical training; its purpose is to enhance it. It’s self-coaching at its best. (Visit #1 Best Seller on Amazon: Neuro Priming for Peak Performance, Giampaolo).

    How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #4:
    Identifying Internal Obstacles

    Looking deeper into competitive success brings us to a fourth method, which is assisting athletes by identifying their internal obstacles. Although losing to a more experienced player stings a bit, losing to a toad because you have self-destructed is much more harrowing. The secret to conquering one’s inner demons stems from understanding the importance of self-coaching. It is essential to master self-coaching with positive inner dialog by exchanging judgmental tirades with calming routines and rituals.

    “Overcoming internal obstacles is more satisfying at a deeper level than beating a top seed.”

    Athletes perform best when they are not excessively judged or overly concerned about the outcome ramifications. Having outcome goals is fine, as long as their focus is on the process. To continually stay process-minded is the backbone of successful inner dialogue. What influences athletes most in their toughest moments is their mental commentary. A healthy mindset orchestrates positive attitude, belief, and effort. So, what is competitive success? Competitive success is performing at one’s peak performance level set after set, the optimum victory for any athlete.

    How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #5:
    Monitoring Outer Dialogue

    The fifth method of nurturing a positive inner dialogue is to ask the athlete to monitor their outer dialogue under stressful conditions. An athlete’s outer dialogue includes speech, body language and physical behavior, which are natural biproducts of an athlete’s internal dialogue.

    Monitoring this process begins with the athlete recognizing their automatic system of behavior under the stressful conditions of competition. Although it is common to default to old comfortable habits under stress; negative habits not only perpetuate pessimistic thought patterns, but they also alert the opponent that self-destruction is in the works. Self-spotting outer dialogue behavior will help the athlete to recondition their inner dialog chatter.

    How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #6:
    Resist Attention Seeking Negative Dialogue

    A behavior management strategy is to coach the athlete to resist attention seeking negative dialogue and behavior. Athletes gain sympathy by projecting pessimistic behaviors. A typical example of this is an athlete’s excessively loud mini tantrum in competition to gain sympathy from spectators, family or coaches. In essence, the athlete is projecting, “I’m usually so much better than this…I must be having an unusually bad day!” Ironically, the tantrum is seen every day.

    In my opinion, tactically ignoring the outbursts in hopes that they go away is not dialog management because an appropriate alternate behavior is needed.  An athlete’s dialogue projects their thoughts and beliefs. Their voices have been simply programmed into their subconscious. Since they determine the course of their life, reprogramming their negative inner chatter is a battle worth fighting.

    “Optimistic self-coaching is a wonderful technique to create better human beings on and off the tennis court.”

    Here’s an alternate view of tennis parenting and tennis teaching. The conventional method has been to feel balls, criticize what’s broken and then focus on the athlete’s problem areas. This judgment-based approach isn’t always in the student’s best interest. Why? Because it subliminally plants the toxic seeds of negative inner dialogue and in competition, this learned behavior of focusing on what’s wrong opposes the natural flow state found in nonjudgmental, effortless, peak performance. Seeking “what is broken” isn’t part of performing in the zone or “treeing” as today’s juniors describe playing at one’s optimal level.

    Tennis-Building Coachable Athletes

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    Building Coachable Athletes

    During a seminar, I conducted at The Wingate Sports Institute in Tel Aviv, Israel an attending woman’s volleyball coach raised her hand and asked me a great question: How does one discover their true potential? I responded, whether you’re coaching, parenting or playing your chosen sport, realize that you’re only one decision away from going up a level. The choice to avoid risk is what holds most of us back. Even before we attempt an endeavor, fear of the unknown forces most of us to retreat our efforts.

    In psychology, it’s called the Spotlight Effect. The brain hesitates when it perceives there’s going to be a problem. We are hardwired to avoid pain and hardship whether it be physical, mental or emotional.  It’s easy to slide back and continue the same old comfortable routines, but “easy” only produces average results. Tennis coaches and players habitually choose to groove another basket of balls versus shifting their focus to the actual needs of the player (cause of losses). Why? It’s far less painful.

    What’s holding us back is changing our decisions to taking risks versus routinely avoiding risks. Unpredictability and uncertainty should be seen as positive gatekeepers. I recommend moving towards those feelings versus running away from them. We all have an affinity for our habits. All too often we stay too long with those habits not because they’re productive but because we’re loyal to them.

    A new relationship to anything may appear risky, but truth be told, it’s often riskier to remain in an ineffective environment. The real danger lies in stagnation. We instinctively know that around the world, opponents are training smarter, faster and more efficiently. Remaining in our comfort zone will only leave us behind the competition. To our detriment, our brains will try to sabotage any and all attempts at doing anything uncomfortable. I recommend shifting focus from the negative attitude of “what could go wrong” to the positive attitude of “what could go right.”

    Whose responsibility is it to teach coach-ability? The typical response from a parent is, “I assume my child’s coaches are teaching life skills…right?”  Ask a coach and the response is, “Teaching life skills are the responsibility of the parents. They’re paying me to teach their child strokes.” Ideally, these core values are the result of everyone involved in the athlete’s development, with the parents playing the decisive role. Providing children with the opportunity to take responsibility and instill accountability at an early age is not only an essential skill set for coach-ability but a vital life skill. Communication and independent problem-solving skills are the foundations of coach-ability.

    “Two core software skills champions need most are millisecond decision making and problem-solving skills. Both of which, are not commonly found in standardized drilling.”

    Is Your Athlete Un-Coachable?

    A gifted but un-coachable athlete is every coach’s nightmare. The un-coachable athlete displays the following symptoms: showing up late for practice and lacking personal commitment, passion and real effort. These athletes routinely play the blame game, roll their eyes at constructive feedback and are close-minded to improvement. Un-coachable athletes spend the majority of their training sessions defending their poor choices and creating drama.

    “Some athletes cling desperately to bad form because they have spent years developing it.”

    Being committed to one’s emotional development isn’t a genetic predisposition, it is a learned behavior nurtured by intelligent parents and coaches. Changing a talented yet un-coachable athlete into a coachable athlete takes great emotional aptitude from both the parents and coach.

    Improving an athlete’s software (coach-ability) is often a prerequisite for real learning, quicker growth, and maximizing potential. I believe great coaches and parents have to facilitate coach-ability. They have to convince the athlete that change is good, which is key because learning begins with change and change begins with learning.

    Emotional modification begins with the athlete being open and honest enough to develop a humble and respectful attitude, competitive drive, and willingness to learn. It includes gratefulness that a coach cares enough and is willing to tackle the un-pleasantries of the task. Teaching discipline, accountability, and responsibility is a very different job description than teaching a topspin backhand.

    Let’s Look at the Characteristics of the Coachable Athlete:

    • Willingness to Accept the Coach’s Philosophy
    • Acceptance of the Necessity for Improvement
    • Desire to be Accountable
    • Optimism and Growth Minded
    • Respectfulness
    • Acceptance of Responsibility
    • Letting Go of Excuses
    • Non-Combative Attitude
    • Open-Minded too Constructive Criticism
    • Eager to Receive Feedback
    • Respectful of the Coach’s Knowledge
    • Selflessness
    • Integrity
    • Courageous

    It’s astounding how many young athletes self-sabotage their potential by choosing to ignore the above positive characteristics. Coachable athletes are taught life skills development and religiously held accountable for their morals and ethical conduct by their parents and coaches. Parents and athletes, please look for the above positive characteristics of the coachable athlete in your entourage of coaches as well. You can be sure that quality coaches will be looking for the same positive characteristics in their students and their parents.

    In the 1st Edition of The Tennis Parents Bible (published in 2010), I wrote about the importance of positive coaching and parenting. A vital take away was the use of the 5-1 compliment to critique rule (verbal and non-verbal). If athletes are to fire their optimistic responses we have to provide the ammunition. I recommend exposing these qualities in timely condensed sessions. Coaches, the above 14 coachable software skills should be discussed in a creative, interactive information exchange that feels like a chat versus a moral lesson.

    The Mental and Emotional Sides of Tennis Development

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    The Importance of Nurturing

    A family from Georgia called to book a 3-day customized evaluation session with me in California. Steven, the dad, was a former nationally ranked junior and top college player. Eddy, his 14-year-old son, is a junior competitor. As we began our tennis evaluation, within minutes, I noticed some glaring red flags. Halfway through the morning session, I could tell that Steven wanted Eddy to be a tennis star much more than Eddy.

    A lack of athleticism wasn’t the cause of Eddy’s failings in tournament competition. I realized rather quickly what was keeping Eddy from attaining the results he was capable of achieving. Although Eddy was a talented ball striker, he needed a customized development plan to develop the skills essential to becoming an elite athlete.

    In our afternoon session, after we bonded a bit, I asked Eddy, “Bro, What are your tennis goals? Where do you see yourself in four years?” Eddy responded, “I don’t know. I mean, I’ll give it a try…if it works out then great. Fed’s life doesn’t look too shabby. I guess I could be a pro like Roger.”

    Eddy’s common lackadaisical approach showed interest in the game but lacked commitment, and there’s a big difference between interest and commitment. Athletes merely interested in the sport, train when they feel like it. They train when it conveniently fits into their social calendar. I asked Eddy what was holding him back.  Eddy said, “I don’t know…I just don’t always feel like training.” I added that’s fair because you’ve got to commit to it, to believe in it.” The seed was planted. I simply needed to let it blossom within.

    At lunch, I asked Steven if he thought Eddy was committed to excellence. He hesitated and then said, “No but that’s why I brought him cross-country to you. I hear that you’re great at motivating excellence and nurturing that commitment.”

    While evaluating Eddy’s hardware (strokes and athleticism) with on-court drills, I began the positive brainwashing process of nurturing his commitment. I reminded Eddy that he had mentioned that his buddy’s at home were all top 20 in his section. “Yeah, and I’m tired of losing early every tournament and being their stupid cheerleader,” I asked him if he thought he was doing all he could to be the best tennis player possible. He responded, “No, probably not…”

    All too often naive athletes want the rewards to materialize before the hard work takes place. I mentioned to Eddy several times throughout our three-day evaluation that being committed to excellence means that if he wanted to join his buddies in the top 20, he would have to prioritize his tennis above his social life. Athletes have to train like a world class athlete for years before they ever reach world-class status. I then threw out a couple of goofy life analogies: “You’ve got to chop the wood and build a fire before you feel the heat, right? You’ve got to prepare the soil, plant the seed and work the fields before you can harvest the crop”, right?” Before I could throw out another annoying analogy, Eddy interrupted.

    “Yeah, yeah I get it. There are two approaches: Commitment to excellence or acceptance of mediocrity.”  “Right! And either way, you’ve got to live with your decision.” I replied.  At that moment, I sensed that the light bulb went off in his head. I’ve got an idea, “Let’s work through it together and commit for 3-months. After 3-months, if it isn’t working for you, then you’re free to chill and play the sport as a hobby. Give the 100% commitment a shot. I bet that if you put in the effort and stick to your customized developmental plan week in and week out, you’ll transform into a top 20 player by year’s end!”

    Six weeks later I got a text from Eddy with a photo of him holding up his first USTA trophy. All it said was, “I just had to climb the mountain…then I was able to see the view. Thanks, Coach!”

    Developmental Psychology

    “It is not nature versus nurture; it is nature and nurture.”

    Today there’s a movement called Developmental Psychology. These experts research the intertwining relationship between genetic and environmental influences. In regards to the athletes’ environmental influences, the two most important influences I’ve witnessed are their parents and coaches. Teachers and older siblings come in a close second. We influence why athletes think the way they think, why they say what they say and why they do what they do. We are the environmental influences that mold their talents and temperaments.

    Developmental Psychology researchers use the word plasticity as they discover deeper implications to how humans respond to nurturing. Following are two negative pre-match preparation pep talks given to an athlete’s by his parents. Although both messages lack positive support, it is the way in which the athlete chooses to respond that is interesting.

    Toxic Pre Match Parental Pep Talk

    “Joseph, if you blow it again this weekend, your mother and I are considering pulling the plug on your tennis. I’ll be taking notes and listing all your shortcomings on my iPad. Don’t blow it! Love, Dad.”

    Uninvolved Parent Pre Match Dialog

    “Joey, honey… Mommy’s driving into the city to Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale. I have to drop you off at 7:00 a.m. I put lunch money in your bag. Enjoy your little game. I’ll pick you up between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. Mommy.”

    Although the first pep talk is clearly negative and soul-wrenching to read let alone experience, the second pep talk is just as negative. A parent that takes no interest in their child’s passion is showing a lack of support and encouragement. Remember, it’s how the athlete chooses to respond that’s critical. Some athletes work hard to prove their parents right. Some fight all their lives to prove their parents wrong. Which of the following responses would you choose?

    Response A– The Athletes folds as they feel the lack of parental confidence, love, and support and shortly quit the game. Proving the parents right.

    Response B– The athlete applies plasticity as they use their parent’s horrendous pre-match pep talks to motivate better performance. Proving the parents wrong.

    Self-Nurturing

    I believe that high-performance athletes determined to be the best they can be, have to take nurturing to another level. I call it self-nurturing, and I believe it to be the most important life skill. Self-nurturing is choosing to apply persistence and resiliency in the face of poor outside influences. I’ve witnessed athletes with incredible coaching and parenting who choose to fail, as well as, athletes with absolutely pitiful coaching and parenting who choose to succeed.

    If success is in the athlete’s blood, I suggest motivating them to think of the negative people and their words as fuel. Proving someone wrong who doesn’t believe in them is powerful motivation. It’s self-nurturing at its finest. These individuals make the athlete work smarter, harder and longer …all for the reward of proving them wrong. Revenge is funny that way.

    Improving self-nurturing skills requires us to put aside our ego and listen to others. I’m not suggesting that you agree with 100% of what they’re saying, but rather consider the context of their words and take a look in the mirror and decide if there’s any truth to their comments. Every one of us has aspects of our life that we can improve.

    Coaches, parents, and athletes with a little self-reflection, we can all challenge ourselves in the realm of self-nurturing. To me, self-nurturing is a daily self-educating process. Every industry leader I admire is obsessed with self-improvement. They research relentlessly, attend conferences, read, write books, and take online courses to continue to learn and improve. They expose their deficiencies and make them efficiencies.

    “The great self-nurturers of our time are growth mindset individuals who see futuristically, something greater that is currently present.”

    Life Skills Maximize Athletic Development

    The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

    Life Skills Maximize Athletic Development

    While at the Easter Bowl Championships a parent came up to me and said “You’re the Tennis Parent Bible guy, right? I have your books, but I’ve got to say, I hate everything about junior tennis. I hate the tournament directors, the insane hours, the cost of equipment, the crazy travel schedule, and the lessons are a waste of time. My daughter’s coaches aren’t teaching her a stinking thing. She just lost second round again this year!”

    I politely waited for her to take a breath and we began a conversation:

    Frank: “Hi… Yes, I’m Frank. What’s your name?”
    Kathryn: “I’m Kathryn,” she said as she crossed her arms in front of her.
    Frank: “Hi Kathryn. I have about 30 minutes before my player’s match. Can we chat for a few minutes?” Kathryn rolled her eyes, so I immediately asked, “Your daughter is obviously a very talented player to be playing the Easter Bowl. Can you think of a handful of reasons you could be grateful?”
    Kathryn: “No… Not a one!” She barked.
    Frank: “Kathryn, what’s your daughter’s ranking?”
    Kathryn: “Oh, around 30 in the Nation.”
    Frank: “Top 30 in the Country is outstanding! Isn’t that something both you and your daughter should be proud of?”
    Kathryn: “I mean…I guess so.”
    Frank: “Has she been offered a full-ride college scholarship?”
    Kathryn: “Yes, of course! She has about a dozen schools courting her, but she is only interested in USC.”
    Frank: “Now that’s something to be grateful for- a dozen D-1 Universities wanting your daughter to play for them!”
    Kathryn: “Well…that’s true.”

    Frank: “I bet you guys have seen some cool parts of the world as she has competed in National and ITF tennis events.”
    Kathryn: “Oh yes! We’ve been throughout the country, the Caribbean, the Middle East, Canada and Europe.”
    Frank: “Aren’t you grateful for that time together with your daughter?”
    Kathryn: “Yes, I am… and we did have great fun on those trips.”
    Frank: “Can you tell me about the life lessons learned from participating in the sport?”
    Kathryn: “What do you mean?”
    Frank: “You know… time management, resiliency, and organizational skills to name a few?”
    Kathryn: “You’re right. There have been so many life lessons and blessings that have come from playing this game.”
    Frank: “Kathryn, the healthiest of all emotions is gratitude, and in 5 minutes you just revealed so much to be grateful for… and there’s plenty more if you choose to look in the right direction.”
    Kathryn: “I needed that pep talk. Can I give you a hug?”

    We have all heard that sports teach life skills, but did you know the opposite is also true? Well nurtured life skills and character improves athletic potential at a quicker rate.

    “Life skills improve the developmental plan which in-turns skyrocket athletic potential.”

    World class coaches and parents must intentionally see life skills as essential attributes that need to be acquired, practiced, and perfected in and out of the athletic arena.  Being equipped with life skills will not only improve the athlete’s competitive match performance but will inevitably have a positive effect on the sustainability of their customized developmental plans.

    Obviously, well-developed life skills are highly transferable to other areas of the athletes’ lives.  It is important to note that the vast majority of tennis athletes do not partake in competitive tennis as a lifelong career.  However, the following list of essential life skills will last a lifetime, enabling them to evolve successfully into the next phase of their life.

    Life Skills Development

    Parents and coaches, I highly encourage setting aside time to increase your athlete’s mental toughness and emotional aptitude.  Arrange a classroom session or non-hitting homework assignment weekly.  Ask each serious-minded student to Google or YouTube, the following 20 essential life skills and draft a paragraph describing their customized developmental plan to improve each skill.

    Time Management

    The time management life skill is the ability to use one’s time efficiently or productively. A successful athlete with strong time management skills would organize daily, weekly, and monthly planners to assist in scheduling the development of each of the four major components (technical, athletic, mental, and emotional) essential to compete at the higher levels.

    Adaptability

    The adaptability life skill is being able to adjust to different situations and conditions comfortably. To get the most from your physical talent, one must be open to change. Adapting is emotional intelligence at work.

    “No athlete has ever reached their full potential without learning to overcome stress,
    fear, and discomfort. Life skills are essential.”

    Handling Adversity

    Handling adversity is a critical athletic and life skill. Competition brings hardship, drama, and suffering along with the positive attributes. Overcoming daily problems is a driving force of champions. Seeing adversity as a challenge versus a life or death crisis is vital.

    Handling Stress

    Stress causes physiological and mental tension. It occurs when one believes that their physical skills aren’t strong enough to meet the challenge.  While some personalities stress more than others, proper preparation and a positive attitude dramatically reduce stress levels.

    Perseverance

    Perseverance is one’s ability to stay on course through setbacks, discouragement, injuries, and losses. It is the ability to fight stubbornly to achieve greatness.

    “The most meaningful lessons come from the toughest losses…If the student is willing to listen.”

    Courage

    Courage is the ability to apply belief in your skills in spite of the threat at hand. A courageous athlete knows that competition in sports is to be embraced and not feared. Courage is not allowing oneself to listen to the typical noise of “What if I lose?”

    Work Ethic

    Work ethic is a diligent, consistent standard of conduct. Strengthening physical, mental and emotional components and the attainment of goals is dependent on a deliberate customized plan and hard work.

    Resiliency

    Resiliency is the capacity to recover and adjust to difficulties. Champions fall, hurt and fail just like us, but they have preset protocols to adapt and press on. Winners aren’t always the most intelligent or even the strongest athletes in the event.  They are often the individuals who respond with the best adjustments after misfortunes.

    “Great performances stem from a peaceful heart.  So after mistakes, forgive yourself quickly.”

    Goal Setting

    Goal setting is the process of identifying something that you want to accomplish with measurable goals. Dreams are a great start, but the work begins when both specific performance improvement goals and outcome goals have action plans and target dates. Setting daily, monthly and long-term goals build the emotional strength you seek.

    Sticking to Commitments

    Commitments are obligations that restrict freedom of action. Staying loyal to a written action plan separates the champion from the part-time hobbyist. Hobbyists train when it’s convenient. Committed athletes put their sport above their social calendar.

    Determination

    Determination is the power to persist with a singular fixed purpose. Champions are stubbornly tenacious to reach their goals. Champions often begin as average athletes with abnormal determination.

    Problem-Solving Skills

    Identifying the problem is only the first step. Step two is to isolate the causes of the problem. Step three is then to customize the solution to the problem. Creative problem solving requires digging deeper rather than merely identifying the flaw.

    “When dealing with gamesmanship, mature athletes do not give the drama more importance then intelligently remaining on script.”

    Spotting Patterns and Tendencies

    Patterns and tendencies are an individual’s predisposition to act repeatedly. Spotting reoccurring behavior is essential to understanding your strengths and weaknesses as well as defeating a worthy opponent.

    Discipline

    Discipline is behavior that is judged by how well it follows a set of rules. It is one of the most important emotional elements that turn dreams and goals into accomplishments. It often requires you to choose to train when you’d rather be socializing. Discipline is painful but not nearly as painful as losing to people you should be beating.

    Sportsmanship

    Sportsmanship is the underlying respect for the game, the rules governing the sport, the opponents and the officials. It’s giving it your all and playing with confidence and pride regardless of the outcome.

    Focus

    Focus is the ability to centralize your attention. Examples include adhering to short-term goals, such as a single play, point or game, all the way towards attaining long-term goals, such as playing a junior Grand Slam or being offered a college athletic scholarship.

    “Improving involves cleaning out the clutter. Adding more isn’t always the answer. Often, solutions stem from doing less.”

    Preparation Skills

    The life skill of being prepared is especially important in athletics. Preparing properly for battle is one of the most neglected aspects of intermediate athletes. Success begins with total preparation. It is indeed the key to preventing a poor performance.

    Persistence

    Persistence is the continued passion for action in spite of opposition. You need constant energy devoted to your sport, anything less means that you’re a hobbyist. Persistence gets you to the top. Consistency with that persistent frame of mind keeps you there.

    “Don’t confuse busy work with productive growth. Practice in the manner you are expected to perform.”

    Dedication

    Dedication is the quality of being committed to a purpose.  Dedication to a sport requires passion and commitment to strive for daily improvement. Lazy, non-athletic people use the word “obsessed” to describe the dedicated athletes.

    Positive Self-Image

    Strong emotional aptitude starts with positive self-esteem. Trusting yourself is a key to competing freely. Changing the negative self-talk into positive internal dialog is a great start.

    “Strong competitive character at crunch time stems from life lessons developed.”

    The following chapter uncovers the importance of nurturing and motivating athletes, which involves changing negative attitudes and the unhealthy mental habits that are keeping them from reaching their potential.

    Tennis: Physical Skills Versus Life Skills

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    Physical Skills Versus Life Skills

    Marcus is a gifted tennis player from Phoenix, Arizona. At 16 he possesses incredible athleticism. He’s 6’3” and is ripped. His speed, agility, and stamina are off the charts. His tennis specific skills are also above average. He possesses a huge serve and a killer forehand. Marcus’s UTR is hovering around 10.8. College coaches recruiting should be salivating for him, but sadly for Marcus and his folks, tennis scholarships are not being offered.

    The red flags that the experienced college coaches quickly identify are underdeveloped character traits and life skills. You see, Marcus can’t communicate with others, and when he does, a storm of pessimism engulfs everyone around him like a dark cloud. As for his life skills, the college coaches quickly pick up on the fact that he’s late for their meetings, unorganized, and blames others for his downfalls. On-court Marcus shows irrational anger, reckless shot selections, and a lack of perseverance, adaptability, and resiliency even in practice match play. Due to Marcus’s underdeveloped software, his D-1 College dreams won’t be coming true. It’s within the job description of coaches and parents to teach positive character traits and life skills along with their tennis skill sets.

    High-performance tennis is the combination of four required skill sets: character skills, life skills, athleticism and tennis specific skills. Customized training focuses on all four of these components; however, the degree of focus is based on the athlete’s specific needs. It is the job description of a progressive coach to navigate the mastery of all four of these skills effectively.

    1. Character Skills

    Character skills are productive personality traits. These habits include empathy, interpersonal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others, a positive-optimistic attitude, ethics, morals and leadership traits.

    • Life Skills

    Life skills are defined as the abilities to thrive within the challenges of an athlete’s everyday life. These include cognitive skills for analyzing performance and personal skills for organizing developmental plans and managing oneself.

    • Athletic Skills

    Athletic skills are defined as the physical qualities that are characteristic of well-rounded athletic individuals regardless of the individual sport. Athletic skills include upper and lower body strength, fitness, stamina, speed, core balance, and agility.

    • Tennis Skills

    Tennis skills are the particular skill sets that define a high performance-tennis specific athlete. Experts in this field possess a complete tool belt of strokes, tactics, strategies and of course, emotional aptitude to compete at the higher echelons of the game.

    I work primarily with nationally, and ITF ranked juniors, college athletes, and young touring professionals. Athletes at this level are successful due to their skills management. In my world of high-performance athletes, stats are important because they help customize the athlete’s training regimen.

    In regards to stats, the following are the typical percentages ratios of physical skills to life skills that I have witnessed throughout the three primary stages of junior tennis. I’m convinced that positive character traits and customized life skills development hold the secret key to maximizing athletic potential.

    At Ages: 7-11, junior athletes I work with possess:

    • 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
    • 40%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
    • 10%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
    • 40%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

    In this introductory stage, there is nothing more heartbreaking than the estimated 40% of gifted athletes I see with zero desire or work ethic (AKA life skills.)

    At Ages: 12-15, junior athletes I work with possess:

    • 25%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
    • 45%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
    • 5%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
    • 25%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

    In this developmental stage, the medium talented athletes with customized developmental plans and well-nurtured life skills begin to shine. Simultaneously the gifted athletes with poor nurturing, and life skills development are dropping out.

    At Ages: 16-18, junior athletes I work with possess:

    • 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
    • 70%: Medium talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
    • 20%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
    • 0%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

    At the top of the junior tennis food chain, life skills trump physical talent. The outcomes (wins and rankings) are contingent on how well the parents and coaches deliver the four skill sets and how adept the athlete is at assimilating this information.

    As youth sports researchers often say, “Life skills are purposely taught, not hopefully caught.”

    The following chapters will identify the hidden benefits of life skills and character building. Life skills and positive character traits are essential elements found in The Soft Science of Tennis.