Tag Archives: emotional tennis

Sharpening Healthier Communication- Part 1

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Sharpening Healthier Communication

 

It’s dinner time at the Klein’s house. Mr. Klein and his daughter Wendy spent the day at a USTA level 3 girls 16’s event. Wendy was seeded #4 in the tournament. Her 9:00 am match went terribly wrong. Wendy’s serve percentages were catastrophically low and as a result, she suffered an embarrassing first-round loss.

Later that night at the dinner table the conversation quickly escalated from small talk to another tennis-related screaming match. As they passed the potatoes, another family dinner was ruined.  Mr. Klein wished he had an instruction manual for these heated exchanges.

 

Psychologists researching communication offer a concept called the Four-Sides Model. The theory states that Mr. Klein’s initial comment “Honey, your serve was really off today.” exposed four possible ways Wendy could accept the data:

  • As an impersonal factual stat.
  • Insights about Mr. Klein’s feelings.
  • As a personal underlining insult towards Wendy.
  • As an appeal for improvement.

The message Mr. Klein was intentionally trying to convey isn’t necessarily what was perceived by Wendy. Mr. Klein’s statement “Honey, your serve was really off today.” led to a whirlwind of problems between him and his daughter. This, in turn, spiraled into the silent treatment from his wife because once again their family harmony was disrupted.

For Mr. Klein, the factual data and appeal for improvement were the only reason for the statement. Wendy’s interpretation of his statement was polar opposite. Wendy felt awful because she believed that she had let her parents and coaches down. She also concluded that her father’s statement about her serve implied that she was not working hard enough and that she was a failure.

 

“Communication is less about what is being said and more about how the words are decoded by the listener.”

 

As coaches and parents communicate with their athlete, the athlete’s personality profile acts as a filter as they decode the information. Some athletes are wired to accept and enjoy the analysis of cold hard facts while others are wired to overlook the facts and instead zone in to the emotional climate of the conversations. Each athlete connects the dots and paints the picture they choose to hear. An individual’s personality profile determines how one communicates. (We will interpret personality profiles in greater detail in coming chapters.)

 

 

 

 

Communication Skills and Tennis Success – Part 2

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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A Great Replacement Tip:

Occasionally trade in the old school, pre-hit stretching routine with an upbeat dance-off. Turn up the tunes and watch athletes laugh their guts out while they dynamically stretch their bodies. Trust me, even if they arrive tired, stressed, or negative, as they let go, they’ll dance their worries away, and you’ll have 25 kids with 25 huge smiles!

A positive mindset is a precursor to a meaningful session. Parents, the preceding replacement solution also works wonders at home as a way to motivate the family to seek optimism.

 

“An exceptional culture creates the positive attitude and mindset that promotes growth strategies,
which in turn sustains excellence in competition.”

 

It’s important to note that despite the student’s inherent athletic ability, level of play, or commitment to the game, each student deserves the same sports science data, focus, and energy as a high performer. In fact, providing a rich culture of mentoring is precisely how average performers blossom into the high-performance category.

Over the past few years, I conducted an informal study on the culture of tennis facilities throughout my travels around the world. I came to some very predictable conclusions:

The programs with a positive culture were monitored and often reviewed by the owners. They were optimistic by design, and as a result, they achieved thriving, positive environments. They attracted top players organically via their triumphant athletes and their satisfied parents. They also acquired disgruntled clients from the negative cultured programs. As a result, the programs with a positive culture retained athletes up to three times as long as their problem-oriented rivals.

The programs with a problem-oriented drill Sargent culture struggled to keep coaches, to keep students, and to pay the rent. As a result, they had to partake in serious recruiting, sales, and marketing just to keep their doors open.

Communication Skills and Tennis Success- Part 1

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Creating an Exceptional Culture

 

Mr. Martinez is the tennis operations manager at Big Sky Country Club. A short time ago, he hired Richard as their new tennis director. Richard played college ball, graduated with a highly regarded tennis management degree and his resume checked all the boxes. On the technical side, Richard was microscopically detailed. He could spot a student’s opposing force vectors on their serve six courts away. He was adept at video analysis, organizing compass draws, teaching stroke fundamentals, and eager to oversee the club’s racket stringing service. On paper, Richard was a good fit for a Country Club.

Sadly, within weeks, Richard turned out to be a nightmare. While he had tennis business knowledge, he possessed no interpersonal communication skills. Richard’s interactions with members and co-workers were so poor; it led to his termination just one month into the job. Let’s look into why Richard was let go so soon from Big Sky Country Club.

Richard had a pompous demeanor toward everyone all the time. When adult members would ask for his assistance, he would respond with a loud disrespectful sigh.  When Mrs. Jones asked him to fill in with the ladies league for 15-20 minutes until Helen arrived, Richard shook his head in disgust and said, “My hitting rate is the same as my lesson rate. For me to go on court, it’s $120.00 an hour!” Richard even drew complaints from the parents of the junior program because he would scold the children if they smiled and laughed in their beginner’s clinic. Richard was a taskmaster, and to him, clinics were to work and not to play.

The club’s co-workers were also scared of Richard. His pessimistic problem-oriented view of his job made him uncomfortable to be around. The club’s assistant pros reported that he would consistently complain about the facility and the management staff directly to the members. His negative verbal and nonverbal communication reaped havoc throughout the club.

Richard was also incompetent at the most essential interpersonal communication skill:  listening.  For example, one Friday afternoon, Mr. Martinez, the club manager, handed two rackets to Richard and told him that he had assured junior club member, Joey, that both his rackets would be strung by Saturday morning at 8:00 am. He could pick them up on his way out-of-town to the tournament.  Although Richard was looking at Mr. Martinez as he took Joey’s rackets from him, Richard wasn’t listening. His focus was on a tennis match on the pro-shop television.

So Joey and his dad stopped in Saturday morning and his rackets sat unstrung in the pro-shop. The members were obviously upset and Mr. Martinez was furious with Richard.  Mr. Martinez addressed Richard about why they were not strung, and he snapped: “You didn’t tell me to string them yesterday!”

After multiple “red flags,” Mr. Martinez had no choice but to put Richard on probation. Richards’s lack of interpersonal communication skills continued to disrupt the club’s optimistic culture. Richard didn’t possess the ability to problem solve, adapt, correct issues or even care to attempt to fit into the club’s corporate guidelines. The final straw was when a member came into the pro-shop and complained that his children are no longer enjoying the clinics and they are considering going elsewhere for lessons. Richard took it personally, called the member an idiot, and instigated a shouting match, “If you want Mikey and Lauren to learn the correct strokes, let me do my job! If you want them to be hackers…then go! I don’t care!”

Richard’s lack of communication skills instigated his firing. He couldn’t apply appropriate decision making, empathy, analyze options or come up with win-win solutions. It was his way or the highway- period. Insulting the members prompted Richard’s demise. The members quit the club and Richard lost his job.

 

Interpersonal Communication

 

If technical knowledge is the science of teaching, interpersonal communication is the art of teaching. Interpersonal communication characterizes the interaction that takes place between two or more people. In the coaching world, gaining an understanding of sports biomechanics is important, but mastering communication is essential. Is your athlete being nurtured interpersonal skills? The following is a laundry list of interpersonal communication skills that facilitate success in tennis and in life.

Accountable, Accuracy, Adaptability, Adept, Alertness, Ambition, Amiability, Analytical, Articulate, Assertive, Attentiveness, Business-like, Capable, Caring, Competence, Confidence, Conscientiousness, Considerate, Consistency, Cooperation, Creative, Critical Thinking, Dedication, Dependability, Detail Oriented, Determination, Diplomatic, Efficiency, Empathy, Encouraging, Energy, Enterprising, Ethical, Experienced, Flexibility, Hardworking, Helpfulness, Honesty, Imaginative, Independent, Industriousness, Influential, Innovation, Insightful, Intuitive, Leadership, Logical Thinking, Loyal, Management, Motivation, Nonverbal Communication, Optimism, Organizational, Passion, Patience, Perceptive, Positive, Practical, Problem Solving, Productive, Professional, Progressive, Punctual, Rational, Realistic, Reflective, Reliable, Resourceful, Respectful, Responsible, Sense Of Humor, Sincere, Sociable, Teachable, Teaching, Teamwork, Technical Literacy, Tolerance, Trustworthy, Understanding, Verbal Communication, Versatility, Visionary, Work Ethic…Whew!

 

Without a doubt, any parent or coach would love to have their athletes possess these personal skills.

Excellence begins with a positive culture both at home and at the club. In our sport, invested athletes don’t search out places like “Allen’s Average Tennis Academy” or “Mike’s Mundane Monday Night Clinic.” On a conscious level, parents and athletes seek excellent technical knowledge. On the subconscious level, they pursue meaningful interpersonal relationships.

The culture I recommend is solution-oriented versus problem-oriented. Athletes are much more likely to flourish in a solution-orientated environment. Coaches that provide a solution-based program are teaching lasting life skills.

 

 

Tennis Industry Testimonials – Part 2

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Frank Giampaolo

“Frank Giampaolo has nailed it again in The Soft Science of Tennis. This time he has led us to see the absolutely critical importance of connecting with our students by understanding their personality profile, cognitive design and learning styles. All great teaching begins with the tools he provides. Thanks to Frank for giving them to us in this outstanding book.”

Tim Mayotte, Boston, Massachusetts, Former Top 7 ATP, NCAA Singles Champion, USTA National Coach

 

The Soft Science of Tennis is another valuable resource from Frank Giampaolo. He is knowledgeable and passionate about sharing – these two qualities demonstrate why Frank has been a top-rated presenter at the PTR International Tennis Symposium. In The Soft Science of Tennis, Frank gets the message across and reminds us what’s truly important in our coaching. Communication, Engagement, Life Skills, and Character Building are what really matter in the mark we leave on our students after we are gone!”

Julie Jilly, Hilton Head, South Carolina, PTR VP Marketing/Events

 

“Frank Giampaolo once again demonstrates that he is the supreme grandmaster of tennis psychology. What distinguishes champions from other players is what goes on inside their minds. If you want to play better and understand the kind of training that is likely to work best for you, read this. Then, read it again.”

Clinton W. McLemore, Laguna Niguel, California Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, USC

 

“Frank Giampaolo has done it again. His new book THE SOFT SCIENCE OF TENNIS is all about what REALLY matters in tennis. In a world where most players are on an endless pursuit to perfecting their strokes, Frank teaches players about the BIG picture… things that will matter in the long run. If you’re serious about improving your game and thinking outside the box… this book is for you.”

Jorge Capestany, Michigan USPTA Master professional, PTR International Master professional, Founder, CapestanyTennis.com

 

“Frank has hit another ‘ace’ with his latest book The Soft Science of Tennis. He is a wealth of information in so many areas of tennis and always does a fantastic job in addressing the needs of athletes, parents, and coaches. This book’s an amazing read touching on the hidden topics of advanced communication and personality profiling which are often missed by many coaches.”

Michele Krause, Sarasota, Florida TIA Global Education Director- Cardio Tennis

 

“Frank’s positive attitude and his ability to see tennis from different angles make his insights fresh and unique. In The Soft Science of Tennis, Frank once again shows us different, powerful pathways to success.”

Eliot Teltscher, Irvine, California Top #6 ATP player, Former managing director of the USTA Player Development Program

 

 

The Soft Side of Tennis is filled with insight and inspiration to help you reach your potential. In this extraordinary book, Frank Giampaolo shows you how to successfully utilize your skillset by developing a positive mindset.”

Roger Crawford, Sacramento California, Host of Tennis Channel’s Motivational Monday’s, Best-Selling Author-Hall of Fame Speaker
The Soft Science of Tennis is not just another tool in your toolbox but another complete toolbox that every coach and parent should read. As in any sport, technical and physical abilities will not flourish until mental capabilities grow and strengthen. Frank takes you through the effective steps of how to assist your athletes in developing a strong and positive mindset. Any coach or parent trying to help a player who is striving for excellence must read this book. This is definitely a book that I will purchase for the entire High-Performance coaching staff at CDL.”

Dean Hollingworth, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, WTA Trainer, CSCS, MTPS Director of High-Performance Club CDL

 

“Great book! I believe this is going to help a lot of coaches and players. It should be part of the mandatory curriculum as a teaching professional. The four parts of a performance paradigm are physical, equipment, technical, and mental. This book is a must for the mental side of the athlete. If you’re into building champions of life and on-court this book is a must.”

Dr. Sean Drake, Oceanside California, Performance Director at TPI

 

Re-Commit to Tennis- Part 3

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!

 Click Here to Order

QUESTION: How do we help our daughter re-commit to her tennis? (Part 3)

Encourage your athlete to stretch beyond their comfort zone and try new approaches by:

  • Putting your goals and plans in writing.
  • Acknowledging that the better choice is often the harder choice.
  • Identifying possible negative influences.
  • Cutting out trouble making friends and instigators.
  • Limiting time spent with negative people.
  • Establishing the rules in troubled relationships.
  • Flipping negative talk: “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” or “I hate…”
  • Letting go of “I can’t, I’m terrible, or I am not good enough.”
  • Addressing difficulties as challenges and not defeats.
  • List solutions, not problems.

 

The above proactive behaviors are not necessarily tennis issues, they are life issues. I find that we’re all too often addicted to our old comfortable thoughts. Behavioral changes stem from changing those unproductive negative thoughts.

 

“While your athlete can’t go back and change the past … they surely can start over and create a better future.”

 

Your athlete’s tennis re-birth begins as soon as your athlete commits to improving!

Building “Coachable” Athletes- Part 4

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Eliminating Internal Judgment Solutions

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution#1:
Video Analysis

One method of combating the athlete’s negative self-dialog begins with videotaping tournament matches and providing non-hitting match play video analysis. This process accesses the specific stressful environment that needs to be studied.

As the high IQ coach quantifies the match data alongside the athlete, I recommend identifying how the athlete’s inner dialog helped or hurt their performance.  Were they able to self-coach successfully?  When providing match play analysis, remember to apply the five optimistic comments for every one pessimistic statement. Following are video analysis topics the athlete and coach would be wise to discuss.

Match Play Video Analysis

  • Strokes & Movement Efficiencies & Deficiencies
  • Anticipatory Efficiencies & Deficiencies
  • Staying on Script. (Top 7 Patterns)
  • Opponent Profiling
  • Between Point & Change-Over Rituals & Routines
  • Emotional Control
  • Focus Control
  • Cause of Errors
  • Court Positioning Cause & Effect
  • Score Management

Athletes who are trained to monitor their emotions and inner dialog via post-match video analysis are much more likely to become aware of the software complexities of competition.

 

Discuss Conflict Resolution and Fear of Confrontation

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s NEW Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.
Click Here to Order

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Discuss Conflict Resolution and Fear of Confrontation

 

“Solving problems begins by confronting problems.”

When athletes are expected to be the competitor, the score-keeper, the linesman, and the umpire conflicts will exist. “Being judged” can bring out the best and worst in all of us. Often opponents who believe that they don’t have the physical tools to win employ gamesmanship to sabotage their opponent’s level of play. There are many gamesmanship situations that athletes need to be aware of, and it is the job description of the coaching staff to address these scenarios. It is also important to teach them to look systematically beyond the incident.

Often, it is not the specific opponent’s gamesmanship tactic but your player’s response to the drama that causes the emotional break the opponent seeks. Preparing for pressure includes how an athlete responds to confrontational situations and whether or not they can remain focused on their performance goals and avoid unraveling.

Covert gamesmanship in tournament play is also applied when the crafty opponent spots the nonverbal clues found in our athletes’ fear of confrontation. If your athletes have a fear of confrontation, address why standing up for themselves versus enabling the “bully” is in their best interest. Nurturing timid athletes to stand up for themselves improves their confidence as they learn to solve problems.

In the intermediate levels, emotionally weak competitors assume that confrontation is bad. If they disagree, the opponent won’t like them and therefore not want to play with them in the future. This is a false assumption. In tennis, the opposite holds true. Opponents that can easily bully and beat your athlete don’t return their calls. Athletes that stand up to gamesmanship and triumph, not only earn respect, they also benefit by getting to choose their future practice match opponents and doubles partners.

 

Confidence is earned by standing up to conflicts.

LABOR DAY WEEKEND EBOOK FLASH SALE

FRANK GIAMPAOLO BOOKS

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LABOR DAY WEEKEND EBOOK FLASH SALE

3-DAYS ONLY:
Saturday, Aug. 31 – Monday, Sept. 2, 2019


Purchase PREPARING FOR PRESSURE (ebook or paperback) from MaximizingTennisPotential.com
& Receive 2 of Frank’s other titles (ebook version) absolutely free! Choose your 2 FREE ebooks from the list below:

The Tennis Parent’s Bible

Raising Athletic Royalty 

Neuro Priming

Emotional Aptitude

The Soft Science of Tennis

The Match Chart Collection

After purchasing PREPARING FOR PRESSURE through Frank’s website (MaximizingTennisPotential.com) simply email Linda at lindateresag@hotmail.com with your selection of 2 additional eBooks and you will be emailed the eBooks.


CLICK HERE TO ORDER

NOTE: Frank’s books Championship Tennis and Customized Player Assessment  are not included in the sale because neither book is available in ebook form on MaximizingTennisPotential.com

COGNITIVE CONTROL

PRE-ORDER SPECIAL

Preparing for Pressure to be released AUGUST 20th.

 Click Here to Pre-order ebook version through Amazon for only $2.99!

COGNITIVE CONTROL

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“Great competitors don’t just control the ball…they control their wandering minds.”

Preparing for pressure requires the ability to avoid meltdowns. The athletes wandering mind is a precursor to the bad patches that are often present in match play. Just because the athlete is physically standing on court #6 in tournament competition, doesn’t mean his/her mind is present. In intermediate tennis, thoughts routinely drift from past to present to future sabotaging their performance.

 

Importance of Charting Matches

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Match Chart Collection. Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

MATCH CHARTING AND TYPES OF CHARTS

 

Charting matches will allow you, the parents to systematically evaluate your athlete’s performance. Maximizing potential at the quickest rate comes from actually providing your entourage of coach’s quantifiable data. Without regular tournament performance assessments, your child’s coaches are simply “winging” the lesson…and that isn’t very efficient, is it?

Unless you’re paying a high IQ coach to observe and chart your child’s matches, it falls into your match day job description. So why is charting valuable in raising athletic royalty?

Charting discovers your child’s efficiencies and deficiencies. Not only will they assist the coaches in correcting the actual cause of your athlete’s losses, but it is also a great stress buster for you as you sit and watch the matches. Charting also provides facts versus opinions. Charting will help you spot what I call “Reoccurring Nightmares.” These issues tend to show up week after week. The below true story illustrates facts versus opinions.

 

A few years ago I was hired to assist a fourteen-year-old, #1 player in Florida. We pre-set three performance goals before the match versus the older, bigger, stronger opponent. One was to isolate his backhand and serve about 75-80% to that weaker backhand side to control the court.

As I charted the boys 16’s tournament match, an interesting observation kept reoccurring. My student had a decent service motion, nice speed, and spin but kept getting broken. As I charted his serve, I tracked his percentage of serves to the opponent’s terrific forehand versus pitiful backhand. Ironically, this top Floridian kept “feeding the opponents forehand.”  In the 3-6, 3-6 semi-final loss, he served 81% to the opponent’s forehand!

After the match, we went for a smoothly to relax a bit. When he was ready to discuss the match, I asked: “How did you do with isolating his backhand?” “Good” was his reply. Then I asked. “What do you estimate your serving percentages were serving to his backhand versus his forehand?” “Um…I think I served about 80% to his backhand” was his reply. Case and point- athletes often have a very different view of their performance.

 

Nine Different Types of Charts

There are very different types of charts used to identify different issues. You can get as detailed or as basic as you like depending on maturity and ability level…. (And I’m talking about the parent’s…maturity and ability level…haha.) Below are nine different charts that I have designed to spot strengths and weakness.

1) Unforced Error versus Winner Chart

Focus: Is your athlete committing about 6 unforced errors to 10 winners every set like the current National Champions?

2) Serving Percentage Charts

Focus: Are your athletes first serve percentages around 65%?  How often are they serving to the opponent’s strengths or weaknesses?

3) Type of Error Chart

Focus: Where do their errors come from offensive, neutral or defensive? Does your child choose offense when they should be hitting a neutral shot?

4) Cause of Error Charts

Focus: Knowing the cause of the error is the first step in error correction. What was the cause of the error? (Stroke mechanics, shot selection, movement, emotional/focus)

5) Court Positioning Chart

Focus: Where were they standing when their points were won and lost? (Player positioned behind the court versus playing inside the court.)

6) Mega Point Chart

Focus: Spotting the critical game points and then executing the proper pattern is key to winning those close matches. Does your child spot and control the tipping points?

7) Length of Point Chart

Focus: What’s your child’s frustration tolerance level? How many points last 3 balls or less versus points lasting 4 balls or more? Do they win more long or short points?

8) Depth of Groundstroke Chart

Focus: What percentage of your athlete’s groundstrokes land inside the service boxes versus the backcourt? Do they know why “Heavy and high…makes’em cry?”

9) Between Point Ritual Chart

Focus: Most of the time spent in a match is in-between points. How often does your athlete apply critical between point internal and external rituals?

Special Note: Many parents get stuck in a rut of utilizing the exact same chart (paper or app.) I highly recommend utilizing all 9 charts to quantify data.

For those new to charting matches, many parents have found it successful to utilize one chart a month and focus on their athlete’s ability to simply improve a singular performance goal. Be aware that charts will be slightly different depending on the style of opponent your child is facing.

If charting data during your child’s matches isn’t something you are comfortable doing, I suggest hiring an experienced coach to act as your athlete’s tournament traveling coach.

To purchase a PDF copy of the eBook: The Match Chart Collection visit: www.maximizingtennispotential.com (A PDF copy makes it easier to print copies of each chart.)