Tag Archives: Emotional Aptitude

Handling Adversity- Part Four

Posted on June 1, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Hardships in sports prepare you for the Real World

There is no success in high-performance sport without hardships. Hardships are actually the lessons needed to prepare athletes for success in the real world.

Strength doesn’t come from winning, it comes from the battle.

 

A study published in The Journal of Personal & Social Psychology reported that individuals who experience normal adverse events have better overall mental health than individuals with no real history of misfortune. I’ve found this same scenario to be true with athletes. Many talented athletes who are coddled and pampered by parents and coaches in their youth have difficulty in handling adversity in their teens. These junior athletes are sheltered from the exact problem-solving skills they need in order to thrive at the higher levels. This lack of resiliency is an especially important life skill needed for success. In a sense, resiliency is like a “psychological immune system” which aids athletes in coping with the hardships that come with competing at the higher levels of sports.

 

“What doesn’t Kill you… makes you stronger”

                                                         Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Coaches and parents of athletes should be fostering resiliency on a daily basis. I suggest that you re-visit your test scores in section one and customize your developmental pathway.

 

Life skills Transcend Sports

My daughter, Sarah was a top tennis player in her teens.  She won ten National titles, was ranked #1 in the US and played the US Open by age 15. One of her emotional skills developed through sports was perseverance. Fast forward 10 years and she calls me, “Dad, I just closed a half a million dollar deal- in my new sales position.  OMG, this is so much easier than pro tennis! I just called the CEO every Tuesday for two months and BINGO! ”

Podcast – How to Use Neuro Priming

Posted on April 29, 2018 by in Neuro Priming for Peak Performance

NEURO PRIMING FOR PEAK PERFORMANCE_3D

Check out Frank’s talk radio podcast with Ian of
Essential Tennis

 

TOPIC: How to use neuro priming?

 
CLICK HERE to Listen

Common Performance Anxieties and their Solutions- Part One

Posted on April 10, 2018 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Common Performance Anxieties and their Solutions

 

Performance anxiety falls deeply into the emotional aptitude component of high-performance athletics. These anxieties affect millions of athletes, causing low self-esteem, wavering confidence and waning enjoyment of the game. Psychologists categorize performance anxiety into two basic categories:

State Anxiety: Is a temporary emotional state in response to a perceived threat.

Trait Anxiety: Is a personality trait as opposed to a temporary response.

This is an important distinction because a player with a trait anxiety condition may need professional help in dealing with their anxiety in everyday life.  Whereas a player with state anxiety can more easily be taught to control their response to competition.

Stress is inherent in competition.  So why do some athletes rise to the occasion and thrive under pressure while others wilt under the slightest bit of heat? The answer lies in the individual’s genetics as well as their upbringing. This is commonly referred to as nature and nurture.

 

SOLUTION: Identify the Athlete’s Stress Management Profile

Athletes begin competition with their own unique level of composure. To the untrained eye, two athletes warming up may appear to have a similar athletic ability, but once the competition begins it’s an entirely different story. The degree to which an athlete responds to stress depends on their frustration tolerance level.

Frustration tolerance is the ability to endure stress and maintain composure when met with obstacles.

An athlete’s frustration tolerance level is an essential topic.  It plays a crucial role in why seemingly gifted athletes lose.

Here are a few observations regarding frustration tolerance and opposing personalities under stress:

  • Some folks are both pre-wired and nurtured to agonize and over think. Others are pre-wired and nurtured combatants and ready to fight at the drop of a hat.
  • Some athletes become so overwhelmed by the opponent’s intensity that they emotionally withdraw. Other players get motivated by conflict and their energy rises to the occasion.
  • Some personalities are designed to thrive in fast pace settings – increasing their productivity under stress. While under the same stress, other personalities shut down due to the trauma.

 

I’ve found that the customization and repetition of practicing in the manner you’re expected to perform greatly assist those overthinking agonizers. By applying quality practice sessions (infusing simulated pressure into drills) over quantity practice sessions (stagnant familiar drills) overthinking agonizers can be nurtured to become strong competitors.

Foster Emotional Strength- Part 2

Posted on November 30, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, Emotional Tennis, Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Following are Five More Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength.

  1. Embrace Failure
    Initial failures are the beginning of the long road to success. They are your teachers. It’s often through setbacks that your customized secrets to success are found.
  2. Step Up and Take Responsibility
    A challenge for many athletes is to not allow parents or coaches to routinely solve their problems for them. Solve your problems yourself versus tapping out when difficulties arise.
  3. Take Competitive Risks
    Being scared to leave your comfort zone stalls the growth you seek. Take the risk…or grow old wondering if you were ever good enough.
  4. Ask Experts About Their Story
    You’ll quickly realize that failing is what winners do often. Winners often don’t have the most physical talent. They most often possess the positive emotional qualities you seek.
  5. Organize a New Developmental Plan
    Success stems from spectacular preparation. A brand new deliberate, customized developmental plan along with intelligent game day preparation could make all the difference in the world.

Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength

Posted on November 28, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, Emotional Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

 

ea-in-sports4a_final

 

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Elite competitors are confident that their superior emotional strength will override any hardships and physical limitations. The emotionally weak athletes are convinced that the unfair hardships and their perceived limitations will override their peak performance
and catastrophe will once again occur.

 

An old-school word used to describe emotional aptitude is Grit. In regards to high achievers, researchers have come to the conclusion that successful individuals possess traits deeper than the mastery of athletic ability.  Grit is persistent courage, resolve, and strength of character. Grit is the learned ability to have “nerves of steel,” fortitude and determination. Interestingly, some athletes are pre-wired to have these essential components and some are not. For those athletes who are not natural combatants, developing emotional aptitude is critical.

Sadly, emotionally weak competitors often ignore the development of such skills.  Cultivating these character traits is what propels the few into the winners’ circle. If you believe that your emotions are holding you hostage on game day and keeping you from the success you deserve, I suggest focusing your attention on the below list of solutions

Posted Below are Five of Fifteen Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength.

  1. Nurture the Love of Competition
    Studies show that experiences bring more joy than possessions. The energy of the event is contagious. Athletes should enjoy competing against their past, fatigue, opponents and against time.
  2. Commit to Improving
    Being the best of the best (even in your town) doesn’t come without extreme effort. Improve your performance by understanding emotional aptitude.
  3. Recognize That You Can’t Be Normal …and a Champion
    Champions lead very different lives than normal people. Being an athletic champion is a daily lifestyle.
  4. Customize Your Training
    Realize that diligent customized training trumps social, group learning. Research shows, on average, group training takes up to six times longer than quality private training.
  5. Adopt a Growth Mind-Set
    Great skills are cultivated through continuous effort more so than initial talent or IQ. Without effort…you fail by default. Understand that success starts with the effort of optimism and a growth mindset.

RESILIENCY In Sports

Posted on October 1, 2017 by in Raising Athletic Royalty

The following post is an excerpt from Raising Athletic Royalty NOW available through most online retailers!
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Raising Athletic Royalty

RESILIENCY 

 

“DURING COMPETITION, IT’S THE SPEED THAT YOU RECOVER FROM MISTAKES THAT OFTEN SEPARATES THE WINNERS FROM THE LOSERS.”

 

“Self-control in sports often refers to how one reacts to hardships.”

 

“HIGH-PERFORMANCE ATHLETES HAVE MASTERED THE ART OF RESILIENCY.”

 

“Resilient thinkers aren’t reduced by a loss, they are challenged by it.”

 

“RESILIENT ATHLETES DON’T OVER THINK, THEY SIMPLY ADAPT.”

 

“Success is not judged by winning or losing. In athletic competition, you can perform above your current peak level and still lose. You can also perform way below your personal best and sometimes win.”

 

Negativity on Court

Posted on September 12, 2017 by in Raising Athletic Royalty

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 broken racquet

NEGATIVITY

 

“IT ONLY TAKES ONE NEGATIVE COMMENT FROM A PARENT TO UNRAVEL EVERYTHING A COACH HAS BEEN BUILDING.”

 

“Pessimism, cynicism and negativity are poison.”

 

“NEGATIVE PEOPLE EVENTUALLY SUCK YOU INTO THEIR WORLD.”

 

“Some athletes create their own drama, and then complain about it.”

 

“NEGATIVE PEOPLE DESTROY EVERYBODY’S CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM.”

 

“Sadly, Negative People Believe They Are In Reality And Positive People Are Out Of Touch.”

 

 

 

ADVERSITY

Posted on August 5, 2017 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Athletic-Royalty-Insights-Lifetime/dp/1505374359

The following post is an excerpt from Raising Athletic Royalty NOW available through most online retailers!
Click Here to Order

 Raising Athletic Royalty Cover-3 FINAL

ADVERSITY QUOTES

 

“The parental role should be one of gratitude and optimism versus stress and pessimism.”

 

“RECOGNIZE THAT ATHLETIC DEVELOPMENT IS OFTEN THREE STEPS FORWARD & TWO STEPS BACK.”

 

“Under game day adversity, champions choose to stay on script. This is performing in the manner in which they have been trained.”

 

“YOU AND YOUR CHILD MAY NOT REALIZE IT AT THE TIME, BUT ADVERSITY MOTIVATES IMPROVEMENT.”

 

“The ability to handle adversity is a learned behavior. Simulate times of controversy in practice and rehearse how your child should handle it.”

 

Proper Preparation Rewards Emotional Aptitude

Posted on July 6, 2017 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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SOLUTION # 7: Prepare Properly

If you want to make your own good luck, look towards your future athletic competitions as opportunities and bring to these opportunities exquisite preparation. When proper preparation and opportunity meet, the athlete will shine. The solution to developing one’s emotional muscle stems from copying one of the twins. I bet you already know which one it is. In case you are still unclear, let’s review a typical match day- starring our friend, Jarrod.

Spectacular Preparation Preceded Spectacular Performance

Jarrod, Evans younger brother by 9 minutes, is a very gifted athlete but a bit unevenly developed.  Emotional aptitude is his most unnatural component and so far he’s not interested in improving it. Jarrod would sabotage his tournament performances before they even began. Of course, Jarrod believed that his poor starts weren’t his fault. They were just plain bad luck.

The night before an away event in Indianapolis, I called Jarrod to discuss the incoming storm and the news reports of the morning flood-like conditions. “Jarrod, let’s plan on leaving earlier tomorrow.” He replied “Nah… I want to sleep in…We’re good”. Fast-forward to the next morning. The plan was to meet in the hotel lobby for breakfast at 8:00 am.  It is now 8:15 … 8:30 … and still no Jarrod. It turned out he decided to skip breakfast before his day packed full of 6 hours of intense National competition.

So, we began the hour drive to the site. Visibility through the windshield was about 20 yards due to the pelting storm. All we saw for an hour and forty-five minutes were break lights. This, along with him deciding not to put fuel in his gas tank caused unnecessary unspoken anxiety. An hour into the drive Jarrod said, “I’m so hungry”.

Thirty minutes away from the event I gently reminded him to begin his visualization routine. Leaving the “normal” teenage headspace behind and morphing into the character of a warrior. As I began to remind him again about the emotional benefits of pre-game visualization Jarrod talked over me saying, “I’m fine,” as he decided he didn’t need it and reached over from the passenger seat and turned up the rap station on the SUV’s stereo. Memorizing rap lyrics and tweeting friends were more important to him than the mental imagery of ensuring a peak performance in his upcoming match.

Arriving on site late meant that instead of casually enjoying a relaxed 45 minute warm up. Jarrod now had only 15 minutes to rush through his fundamentals. This brought about feelings of being under prepared which is a confidence killer. As the tournament director blew the whistle for the players to gather, I asked him if he remembered to prepare his equipment, drinks, ice, towels, etc.  Jarrod said, “Oh, can you get me a water… And find me a towel?”

Preparing properly for battle doesn’t guarantee victories, but choosing to neglect proper preparation sabotages one’s chance of performing at peak potential.

Jarrod’s athleticism didn’t cause another loss. The loss was caused by his lack of emotional aptitude, as seen in his distorted thinking and behavioral patterns in preparing for his event. Needless to say, Jarrod’s game was off from the beginning. He never recovered and went down in flames.

 

Emotional Toughness is Real Talent

Posted on July 3, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, Emotional Tennis

 

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Emotional Aptitude Is a Skill

At the start of a Southern California junior tennis tournament, the referee calls Kristen Michaels and Jenny Scott to court number four for their match. Kristen seemed to be a super fit, committed athlete with poise and solid fundamentals.  She was dressed from head to toe in the newest Nike gear with her hair braided to perfection. She walked onto the court, unpacked her Wimbledon tournament towel, Gatorade, and water bottle as she meticulously lined them up next to her chair. She then selected two rackets from her Nike tour bag as she “pings” them together to listen for the perfect string tension. Deciding on one, she immediately started shadow swinging and shuffling her feet as she waited for the umpire to perform the mandatory coin toss.

Jenny, on the other hand, did not appear to be as polished. In fact, she looked downright amateur in her California board shorts and surfer T-shirt. At the coin toss, Jenny was still wrestling through her tennis bag looking for a hair tie as the umpire yells “heads or tails?” Jenny grabs the only racket she brought and calmly saunters towards the net. She lets Kristin choose to serve or return. Jenny couldn’t care less.

The 5 minute pre-match warm up started and Kristen looked like a professional.  Her movement and strokes were flawless.  Jenny, on the other side of the net, looked unorthodox, as she scrambled to return the ball back Kristin’s way.

The referee called time and the match started. Most watching were sure Kristen was going to blow Jenny off the court. But to the spectator’s surprise, Kristin was struggling, down 0-2 within the first 5 minutes of play. The beautiful strokes we had witnessed in the warm up were gone. By game 3, Kristin reached her maximum frustration tolerance level. She couldn’t keep a backhand in the court as Jenny profiled her opponent and systematically hit every ball to Kristin’s ailing backhand side. Kristen was angry, stomping around, yelling at herself, screaming at her racket, her coach, and her mom.  Jenny, on the other hand, was a composed warrior relentlessly picking on Kristin’s weakness. Within 45 minutes, Jenny went on to win 6-2, 6-0. After the match, Jenny’s mom was overheard only uttered three words “Who wants Taco’s?”

As illustrated above, emotional aptitude isn’t typically identifiable until after competition begins. What separates the elite competitors from the emotionally fragile athletes is their ability to thrive under perceived stress. Emotional aptitude is the ability to overcome hardships and to de-stress situations rather than magnify stressful situations. Athletes struggling with poor emotional aptitude lack confidence, composure, suffer bouts of self-doubt and possess an overwhelming fear of being judged by others. These performance meltdowns often go unseen in practice but shine in all their glory on game day.

Elite competitors are confident that their superior emotional strength will override any hardships and physical limitations. The emotionally weak athletes are convinced that the unfair hardships and their perceived limitations will override their peak performance and catastrophe will once again occur.

An old school word used to describe emotional aptitude is Grit. In regards to high achievers, researchers have come to the conclusion that successful individuals possess traits deeper than the mastery of athletic ability.  Grit is persistent courage, resolve, and strength of character. Grit is the learned ability to have “nerves of steel,” fortitude and determination. Interestingly, some athletes are pre-wired to have these essential components and some are not. For those athletes who are not natural combatants, developing emotional aptitude is critical.