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The Psychology of High Performance

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The following is an excerpt from The Art of Exceeding.

Let’s explore the psychology of high performance and how personality traits significantly influence your style, approach, and overall decision-making under pressure.

“Your awakening begins by looking inside.”

Frank Giampaolo

The Impact of Your Personality Profile

Identifying the traits of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) helps to uncover your approach to the game. It’s in your best interest to go online and take a free MBTI quiz. Different personality profiles see the game differently, and understanding your genetic predispositions is important. Personality preference is measured along four dichotomies:

  1. Extraversion/Introversion
  2. Sensing/Intuition
  3. Thinking/Feeling
  4. Judging/Perceiving

The MBTI provides a simple way to recognize your genetic predisposition with a combination of the four dichotomies- creating a four-letter acronym that reflects your most dominant functions.

Examples of The Power of Profiling

Personality profiling assists parents, coaches, and athletes to understand how individuals gather information and make decisions. Identifying your personality profile explains why you are naturally good at some things and uncomfortable with others.

The following are observations of the different profiles as they relate to high performance. You’ll uncover your personality profile by identifying the most appropriate profile in each of the four categories.

“View the following typographies the same way you view right or left-handed athletes. Athletes have a dominant (preferred) system and an auxiliary system.”

Frank Giampaolo

Introverts (I) versus Extroverts (E)

Introvert Athletes

1) Reserved, reflective thinkers.

2) Prefer concrete advice versus abstract thinking.

3) Need quiet, alone time to recharge their batteries.

4) Energy-conserving, private and quiet individuals.

Extrovert Athletes

1) Enjoy the energy of group clinics.

2) Enjoy the limelight and center stage.

3) Easily bored with mundane repetition.

4) Work best in short attention span type drills.

“Introverts can extrovert and extroverts can introvert. We all have dominant and auxiliary brain functions.”

Frank Giampaolo

Sensate (S) versus Intuitive (N)

Sensate Athletes

1) Choose to make decisions after analyzing.

2) Often hesitate in competition due to overthinking.

3) Thrive on the coach’s facts versus opinions.

4) Success is based on personal experience, not theory.

Intuitive Athletes

1) Trust their gut instinct and hunches over detailed facts.

2) Often do first and then analyze second.

3) Apply and trust their imagination with creativity.

4) Learn quicker by being shown versus lengthy verbal explanations.

“Working within one’s genetic guidelines is like swimming downstream. Working against one’s genetic predisposition is like swimming upstream.”

Frank Giampaolo

Thinkers (T) versus Feelers (F)

Thinker Athletes

1) Impersonalize competition in a business fashion.

2) Thrive in private lessons versus group activities.

3) Less influenced by emotions than other brain designs.

4) Relates to hardware training over software training.

Feeler Athletes

1) Often put others’ needs ahead of their own.

2) Strong need for optimism and harmony.

3) Struggle with unfair situations.

4) Usually outcome-oriented versus process-oriented.

“A gender stereotype myth is that females are feelers and males are thinkers.”

Frank Giampaolo

Judgers (J) versus Perceivers (P)

Judger Athletes

1) Prefer planned, orderly, structured lessons.

2) Often postpone competing because they’re not 100% ready.

3) Need closure with a task before moving on to the next.

4) Change is uncomfortable and is typically shunned.

Perceiver Athletes

1) Mentally found in the future, not the present.

2) Easily adapts to ever-changing situations.

3) Open to discussing and applying new, unproven concepts.

4) Typically need goal dates and deadlines to work hard.

“High performers who make the most significant gains have parents and coaches aware of each other’s inborn characteristics, which assist in organizing the athlete’s unique developmental pathways.”

Frank Giampaolo

(Excerpt from Frank Giampaolo’s Book: The Soft Science of Tennis)

We’ve explored personality profiling and its impact on your persona. Understanding your personality trait is an eye-opening experience. As you become more attuned to your unique psychological makeup, you’ll design a playing style that aligns with your personality, paving the way for a more fulfilling journey.

YOUR TAKEAWAY CHALLENGE

Go online and take a free Myers-Briggs type indicator quiz. This information assists players, parents, and coaches in understanding how individuals gather information and make decisions. It’s time to look into the sports science of designing a style that aligns with your personality superpowers.

Developing Confidence and Self Esteem

The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

Bill is a 6 foot lanky 14-year-old who is top 15 in Southern California. Tennis has come very easy to Bill. He is naturally athletic and much taller than his peers. Bill and his folks are convinced he’s on track to becoming an ATP Professional. He attends a local Tennis Academy, where he hits for 4 hours a day on the practice court, playing “catch” back and forth. He is also one of the best juniors at the academy.

Bill’s fundamental strokes are dynamite. He walks on-court cocky, smiling, and confident. During tournaments, however, when matches flip 180 degrees to a game of “keep away” Bill misses a few shots, begins to panic and turns into a completely different person. His verbal outbursts are self-belittling, and his body language and facial expressions are borderline crazy as tear roll down his cheeks.

After reviewing with Bill one of his so-called catastrophic losses, I asked him, “What are your thoughts about your performance?” Bill stated, “I played awful! I am so confused because I beat everyone in practice games, but in real tournament matches, if I miss an easy shot, I freak out and lose all belief. Man, I have no confidence in tough matches. Sometimes I get so upset that I can’t even find my strings and I turn into shank-zilla.  What is wrong with me?”

If strokes and athleticism are the muscles and bones of the athlete, confidence and self-esteem are the heart and soul. Let’s go back in time and review the origins of the words: confidence and esteem.

In Latin, the word confidence means to trust. Self-confidence refers to the athlete’s inner-emotional ability. It’s their opinion of their aptitude to engage and compete successfully. A self-confident person is eager to take on challenges and seeks new opportunities.

In Latin, the word esteem means to appraise. Self-esteem refers to the athlete’s inner emotional view of their self-worth. Athletes with high self-esteem feel secure, confident, and worthwhile.

Nurtured self-confidence and self-esteem typically precede any real athletic accomplishments. Without these soft science skills, athletes often hold themselves back by inaction due to fear and uncertainties. The majorities of athletes do not include emotional training in their tennis development and are not nurtured how to believe in themselves. As a result, emotionally weak competitors often view competition as a high risk activity instead of an opportunity. Some players have tremendous athletic skills but just don’t trust their abilities.

Performing at one’s peak potential in practice is easy because the athletes are not keeping real score so they are aren’t being judged. In tournament competition, judgment is inherent. Once the umpire calls out “LETS PLAY,” mental and emotional fear-based interferences come into view.

Do you ever wonder why some athletes stand up and fight at crunch time, routinely seizing the moment, while others wilt due to self-doubt and lack of courage? The difference lies in their inner belief, confidence, self-trust, and self-esteem.

The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.

  • Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
  • If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
  • If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
  • What is confidence?
  • What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
  • Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
  • What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
  • Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
  • In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
  • Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
  • Where does mediocre training lead?
  • What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
  • Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
  • How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
  • Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
  • How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?

Memories are Malleable

Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)

In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.

Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.

Starting a Brand New Memory System

  1. Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.

These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.

  • Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.

They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.

  • After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to them self.

Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves promoting the negative.

  • Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.

It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family and of course, their supportive coaches.

  • Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.

Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.

Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.

Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.

Tennis- Managing Fear and Risk

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Managing Fear and Risk

I’ve been a high-performance tennis coach for over 30 years. I thrived comfortably in relative obscurity, enjoying the Southern California sun working with nationally ranked junior tennis players and coaching coaches. For 20 of those years, I secretly dreamt of writing my own tennis instructional books to positively impact the coaching industry while traveling the world.

Procrastination dominated those 20 years. I wasn’t willing to take the chance. I lacked the courage to risk leaving my base and losing my successful coaching business if I were to begin traveling. It seemed too dangerous. What if I failed?  What if the books bombed?  What if I wasn’t as smart as I thought?

My internal dialogue was telling me that even though I had something special to share, I shouldn’t risk a good thing. I didn’t have professional speaking experience. Why did I think I could write books?

I intuitively knew that I had to risk leaving relative comfort behind and put my old career in jeopardy in order to attract a larger audience and share my experiences and tennis developmental theories. I researched the fear and risk management process and began writing The Tennis Parents Bible. My goal was simply to complete it and if it helped a single parent or coach along their journey that would be a bonus.

Back then, no one could have told me I would go on to write four, #1 bestsellers, coach the ITF coaches and speak at the largest conferences and grand slams around the world.

Athletes respond to risk and fear differently. In my experience, while most athletes are initially overly cautious, some are overly adventurous. Success and failure in competition greatly depend on how the athlete responds to fear and risk. Results, both positive and negative, stem from repeated behavior. An athlete’s behavior is created by their attitude. Therefore, understanding and managing our athlete’s attitude toward fear and risk is worth exploring.

A great place to start when managing an athlete’s attitude is establishing a baseline of their thoughts and behaviors concerning the following common stumbling blocks. Begin by answering the following question:

  • Do they have an adversity towards fear and risk? Is it extreme or mild?
  • Are they tolerant towards fear and risk?
  • Do they seek out fearful or risky endeavors? Is it extreme or mild?

Athletes possess different degrees of fear and risk depending on the conditions. For example, in competition, one athlete may exhibit extreme tolerance and grit while playing tennis behind the baseline and extreme adversity and fear when attacking the net. Other athletes may excel on the practice court displaying almost flawless stroke production only to shut down, choke or panic in competition. At the other end of the spectrum, some athletes possess no fear and live for the thrill of competition.

“Some extreme athletes hold only mild fear as they seek canoeing over Niagara Falls or bungee jumping over the Bhote Kosi River.”

Most coaches hope that their athlete’s strokes and athleticism have authority and command over their performance, but I believe it’s their emotional aptitude that actually runs the show.

When working with players who have issues with fear and risk, begin by asking yourself the following six questions to identify the athlete’s level of emotional awareness.

  1. What is their cognitive design? Do they understand their brain preferences?
  2. How do they view the feared situation?
  3. Do they appreciate the opportunity to be able to compete?
  4. Are there past bias or experiences they need to let go?
  5. Will they accept a strategic, proactive plan to attack their issues?
  6. Are they willing to train correctly for the mission at hand?

Conquering Fear Stems from a Courageous Plan

A re-occurring message throughout the book is that teaching tennis requires more than teaching the fundamentals of the game. It takes serious interpersonal skills. One necessary interpersonal skill is motivating athletes to dig deeper, push a little harder, and dare to compete in the face of fear. Courage is the ability to persevere and withstand fear. Unfortunately, in match play, fear often dismantles athletic performance.

“Peak Performance happens only when fear doesn’t interfere with the process.”

On the practice court when there’s no real threat of negative judgment fear is minimal. Fear comes to life, in all its raging glory, when the athlete is judged during competition. In the competitive tennis world, fear is emotionally induced by a perceived threat, which is natural. Fear is real and best not to be ignored or treated lightly. Fear changes an athlete’s brain chemistry, upsets the stomach, tenses muscle groups, and directly alters the athlete’s behavior. So I’ll say it again, fear is real and emotional training shouldn’t be ignored.

When fear is interfering with performance, experienced competitors are trained to fight despite the perceived threat. While intermediate competitors, uneducated about the process, tend to freeze or cave into the pressure. I believe that the best way to conquer performance anxieties, such as fear, is to accept that they come with the privilege of competing.

Parents and coaches, simply telling an athlete not to be scared aren’t preparing them for the onslaught of mental or emotional contaminants that will hold them hostage in match play. Overcoming debilitating fear comes from re-routing the athlete’s brain. This entails shifting their focus away from the outcome of the match and toward their preset performance goals. Sounds easy, right?  Wrong! Modifying the brains response to fear has to do with neuroplasticity. Eliminating the strong-lasting inner connections formed by poor mental habits takes time, thought, and daily effort.

Neuroscientists call this pruning. The process of pruning is unlearning by re-routing old, undesirable neural pathways, which form physical, mental or emotional barriers. For example, relax and cross your arms…no really! No one’s looking. Cross your arms in a relaxed state. Now, consciously unwrap your arms and re-cross them the other way. Boom! It doesn’t feel right, does it? This new motor program feels a bit uncomfortable and awkward. The same concept holds true after your spouse re-organizes the kitchen drawers and for two weeks you habitually go to the old spoon drawer only to find dish towels. As the new neuropathways are strengthened, the old pathways are weakened. It is a two-step system: Part one is pruning of the old mental habit, and part two is developing the new mental habit.

Uncle Tommy is 83 years young. In his home, he is kind, relaxed, funny and comfortable to be around. We hang out, watching Blue Blood re-runs and snack on junk food. But when we jump into his 2002 Camry (which we nicknamed “La Bomba”) Uncle Tommy turns the key, and the different environment changes his brains chemistry, his attitude, and his body language. Within minutes, he’s agitated, tense and uncomfortable.

Behind the wheel, Uncle Tommy feels a lack of control. He associates driving with uncontrollable reckless drivers, bumper to bumper traffic, and mayhem, which translates, to fear and risk. When a driver changes lanes without their blinker, Uncle Tommy’s automatic response is to roll down the window and curse them out. I asked my wife if Tommy‘s emotional climate changes every time he drives his car? “Oh yah…every time. It’s embarrassing!” Without re-wiring his agitated head space every time he sits behind the wheel he is strengthening that neural pathway and cementing his emotional response.

Conquering Fear through Desensitization

Let’s use the analogy of Uncle Tommy’s negative association with navigating “La Bomb” through the streets of Los Angeles with a tennis player who has a negative association with navigating tournament competition.

Like Uncle Tommy, some tennis player’s brains chemistry changes for the worst as they prepare for competition. Their attitude and behavior flip due to their preset emotional response to fear and risk.

Whether it’s fear of other drivers or fear of a competitor, disconnecting performance anxieties takes desensitization. This is an ongoing process of exposing the athlete to stress-busting, fear-based drills. These fear busting exercises replicate and expose the athlete to simulated versions of the emotional climate of competition.

The desensitization drills are followed by dress-rehearsal practice sets where pre-set, customized rituals and routines are in place. This pulls the athlete’s attention toward the process instead of the outcome. Repeated exposure diminishes the stronghold anxiety has on the athlete. In sports psychology, they describe it as shifting focus from the “destructive neuropathway to the new enlightened neuropathway.”

By learning and rehearsing a pro-active emotional response to fear, athletes (and even old uncles) can discover that their old belief system was merely a bad habit that formerly held them hostage.

Re-Examining Risk

Neuroscience shows us that it is normal human behavior to focus on what we could lose versus what we could gain. That is why some intermediate athletes play to win, get a comfortable lead then shift to playing not to lose, only to blow the lead. Their focus on avoiding possible pain causes probable pain.

When an athlete no longer fears losing, they embrace risk and play to win until the match is over. With this mindset, competition isn’t threatening. The challenge is seen as a privilege.

Coaches and parents would be wise to remind their athletes that it is common for many athletes to be unknowingly loyal to comfortable mediocrity. Most want to fit in and not stand out. They prefer to protect the status quo and aren’t willing to break their routines that are not working anyway. It’s important for the educators to frequently motivate their athletes to remember that winning more often stems from improving, improving comes from growing, and growing comes from risk.  It is the internal challenge every competitive athlete faces.

The Risk Leads to Reward Philosophy

It’s also important for us as parents and teachers to emphasize to our athletes that risk is inherent in competition. There are reckless risks, and then there are thoughtful, calculated, and inspired risks necessary to beat worthy opponents. Not all necessary risks pay off instantly. Sometimes risk initially leads to losses. Especially when the risky behavior (pattern play, shot selection or stroke) hasn’t been fully developed. When your student attempts the correct shots the moment demands, whether they win or lose, they are improving their mastery of the sport.

“Without appropriate risk-taking, nothing new would ever be accomplished.”

In beginner and intermediate tennis competition, playing it safe and retrieving often pays great dividends. However, in high-performance tennis, it’s a different story. At the higher levels, playing it safe and not taking advantage of appropriate risks is usually a receipt for failure. Without pushing your athletes to embrace risk, they will likely remain stagnant in their growth and predictable in their match play. Athletes who embrace risk are more likely to realize their true potential.

“Athletes have to risk defeat, judgment, pain, and shame to play at their peak potential.

Taking intelligent risks is an essential part of achieving high-performance tennis results.

Managing Risky Players

Like we uncovered in previous chapters, not all athletes share the same cognitive profile. We are all controlled to some extent by our genetic design. While parents and coaches promote the rewards of taking calculated risks to some athletes, it is wise to understand that other cognitive designs need polar opposite training. To these, reckless daredevils, minimizing risk is in their best interest. Some of our athletes aren’t thinking of reasons not to risk; they are thinking why not risk…

Opposite of the timid performers are the reckless athletes who are hard-wired to thrive on risk. In fact, they perform with too much reckless abandon. They are often downright mindless and inattentive to playing high percentage ball. This personality profile doesn’t have limiting beliefs; they have limitless beliefs.

I occasionally work with talented, young juniors who are so overly confident that they are sure they’re going to be #1 in the world next week! Due to their limitless beliefs, nothing is stopping them from routinely attempting low percentage shot selections. Their intuition is skewed, as we watch in horror as these impatient athletes give away relatively easy matches.

With these exciting athletes, I recommend assisting them to play only within their preset comfortable script of play. Firstly, assist them in designing their most proficient serving patterns, return patterns, rally patterns, short ball options and net rushing sequences. Second, practice these exact scripts routinely in place of rallying. Third, bring in a sparring partner and monitor the athlete’s ability to stay on their pre-designed scripts throughout practice sets. Forth, in real tournament play, chart the percentage of points the athlete played on script versus going rogue. In my experience, exceptions follow every rule so shoot for a performance goal consisting of about 75% on script and 25% off script. The athletes should seek excellence and not perfection.

“Champions understand that if they don’t apply intelligent risk, they don’t grow. If they don’t grow, they don’t reach their peak potential. If they aren’t performing at their peak potential, they’re not satisfied with their performance. If they’re not satisfied, they’re not happy. So, happiness stems from risking intelligently.”

Eliminating Internal Judgment

The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

Eliminating Internal Judgment

My neighbor, Pete, owns Pete’s Home Repair Specialist. He’s a super friendly independent contractor. Due to his excellent soft science personal skills, Pete’s always in high demand.  His decades of experience have taught him that detailed preparation prevents poor performance. Pete’s truck is like an encyclopedia of tools organized by alphabet and ready for action. Though Pete doesn’t need all of his tools at every job, he brings every tool, just in case he needs it.

This analogy is very similar to a high-performance tennis player’s tool belt. In matches, they may not need to employ every skill set developed in their tool belt, but they do need to have primary and secondary strokes ready for competition, as well as multiple patterns and plays developed and prepared to be accessed if needed. Life skills, such as preparation improve the athlete’s confidence, inner dialogue, and of course, solution-based self-coaching skills.

“In the heat of battle, the voice inside each athlete is their driving force.”

In match play, an athlete’s internal dialogue is their self-coaching. Internal dialogue is the conversation their ego is having with themselves. Athletes have a habitual way they choose to navigate their matches. When they see competition in a negative light, their internal dialogue is dark. Conversely, when they “see pressure as a privilege,” to quote Billy Jean King, their self-coaching is more positive, uplifting, and optimistic. The question is: Where did the athlete learn their internal dialogue mantras?

An athlete’s negative, problem-oriented inner dialogue sabotages their performance by interfering with their quiet mind. To some athletes, negative inner dialogue spirals them into a self-defeating, under-arousal state. To others, it pushes them into a panicked, over-arousal state. Both are detrimental to performance. As I mentioned earlier, an athlete’s non-stop inner dialogue is either helping or hurting their performance. Intermediate athletes are known to sabotage their play by criticizing themselves, worrying about losing and inventing post-match catastrophic conclusions during competition.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution#1:
Video Analysis

One method of combating the athlete’s negative self-dialogue begins with videotaping tournament matches and providing non-hitting match play video analysis. This process accesses the specific stressful environment that needs to be studied.

As the high IQ coach quantifies the match data alongside the athlete, I recommend identifying how the athlete’s inner dialogue helped or hurt their performance.  Were they able to self-coach successfully?  When providing match play analysis, remember to apply the five optimistic comments for every one pessimistic statement. Following are video analysis topics the athlete and coach would be wise to discuss.

Match Play Video Analysis

  • Strokes & Movement Efficiencies & Deficiencies
  • Anticipatory Efficiencies & Deficiencies
  • Staying on Script. (Top 7 Patterns)
  • Opponent Profiling
  • Between Point & Change-Over Rituals & Routines
  • Emotional Control
  • Focus Control
  • Cause of Errors
  • Court Positioning Cause & Effect
  • Score Management

Athletes who are trained to monitor their emotions and inner dialogue via post-match video analysis are much more likely to become aware of the software complexities of competition.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #2:
Judgments through Comparisons

Judgmental thoughts typically stem from past or future thought comparisons. Typical thoughts of comparison in the heat of battle include, “Jason beat this dude. I can’t lose, I’ve got to prove I’m better than Jason,” “Kristin is ranked below me, and if I lose today, she’ll take my spot on the team,” “What are my parents and coaches going to say if I lose?” “Here I go…Choking again!”

Judgmental thoughts play havoc in the minds of our competitive athletes every day. Athletes in competition, with judgmental comparison thoughts, contaminate the match play process, which results in fighting two opponents, simultaneously- their negative thoughts and the real opponent.

Advanced athletes seeking better results often don’t have to learn more technical skills; they have to shift their attention to developing better self-communication skills. Keep in mind that the athlete’s inner voice will be with them long after they stop competing on the tennis court. Isn’t it worth the time to assist them in developing their lifelong self-coaching tools? Winning is much more likely when our athletes understand the art of self-coaching.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution # 3:
Positive Inner Dialog

The third method of conquering the athlete’s negative inner dialogue is through positive self-coaching with Neuro Priming. It is estimated that individuals have roughly 60,000 thoughts per day. Trading in a turbulent mental state for a relaxed, calming proactive state is essential.

What is Neuro Priming and why is it an essential addition to an athlete’s preparation? Neuro Priming is the science of preprogramming the athlete’s inner trust in their match solutions.

Mental rehearsals customize each athlete’s positive inner dialogue by organizing their physical, mental and emotional solutions into audio recordings in their voice. Listening to one’s inner dialogue audio tapes increases tennis IQ, reprograms old pessimistic beliefs, changes negative behaviors, speeds up the learning process, increases focus, assists the athletes in quickly fixing stroke flaws, staying on their script of patterns, coping with stress, nervousness and the fear of failure. Neuro Priming isn’t meant to replace on-court physical training; its purpose is to enhance it. It’s self-coaching at its best. (Visit #1 Best Seller on Amazon: Neuro Priming for Peak Performance, Giampaolo).

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #4:
Identifying Internal Obstacles

Looking deeper into competitive success brings us to a fourth method, which is assisting athletes by identifying their internal obstacles. Although losing to a more experienced player stings a bit, losing to a toad because you have self-destructed is much more harrowing. The secret to conquering one’s inner demons stems from understanding the importance of self-coaching. It is essential to master self-coaching with positive inner dialog by exchanging judgmental tirades with calming routines and rituals.

“Overcoming internal obstacles is more satisfying at a deeper level than beating a top seed.”

Athletes perform best when they are not excessively judged or overly concerned about the outcome ramifications. Having outcome goals is fine, as long as their focus is on the process. To continually stay process-minded is the backbone of successful inner dialogue. What influences athletes most in their toughest moments is their mental commentary. A healthy mindset orchestrates positive attitude, belief, and effort. So, what is competitive success? Competitive success is performing at one’s peak performance level set after set, the optimum victory for any athlete.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #5:
Monitoring Outer Dialogue

The fifth method of nurturing a positive inner dialogue is to ask the athlete to monitor their outer dialogue under stressful conditions. An athlete’s outer dialogue includes speech, body language and physical behavior, which are natural biproducts of an athlete’s internal dialogue.

Monitoring this process begins with the athlete recognizing their automatic system of behavior under the stressful conditions of competition. Although it is common to default to old comfortable habits under stress; negative habits not only perpetuate pessimistic thought patterns, but they also alert the opponent that self-destruction is in the works. Self-spotting outer dialogue behavior will help the athlete to recondition their inner dialog chatter.

How to Strengthen Self Coaching Solution #6:
Resist Attention Seeking Negative Dialogue

A behavior management strategy is to coach the athlete to resist attention seeking negative dialogue and behavior. Athletes gain sympathy by projecting pessimistic behaviors. A typical example of this is an athlete’s excessively loud mini tantrum in competition to gain sympathy from spectators, family or coaches. In essence, the athlete is projecting, “I’m usually so much better than this…I must be having an unusually bad day!” Ironically, the tantrum is seen every day.

In my opinion, tactically ignoring the outbursts in hopes that they go away is not dialog management because an appropriate alternate behavior is needed.  An athlete’s dialogue projects their thoughts and beliefs. Their voices have been simply programmed into their subconscious. Since they determine the course of their life, reprogramming their negative inner chatter is a battle worth fighting.

“Optimistic self-coaching is a wonderful technique to create better human beings on and off the tennis court.”

Here’s an alternate view of tennis parenting and tennis teaching. The conventional method has been to feel balls, criticize what’s broken and then focus on the athlete’s problem areas. This judgment-based approach isn’t always in the student’s best interest. Why? Because it subliminally plants the toxic seeds of negative inner dialogue and in competition, this learned behavior of focusing on what’s wrong opposes the natural flow state found in nonjudgmental, effortless, peak performance. Seeking “what is broken” isn’t part of performing in the zone or “treeing” as today’s juniors describe playing at one’s optimal level.

Tennis-Building Coachable Athletes

The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

Building Coachable Athletes

During a seminar, I conducted at The Wingate Sports Institute in Tel Aviv, Israel an attending woman’s volleyball coach raised her hand and asked me a great question: How does one discover their true potential? I responded, whether you’re coaching, parenting or playing your chosen sport, realize that you’re only one decision away from going up a level. The choice to avoid risk is what holds most of us back. Even before we attempt an endeavor, fear of the unknown forces most of us to retreat our efforts.

In psychology, it’s called the Spotlight Effect. The brain hesitates when it perceives there’s going to be a problem. We are hardwired to avoid pain and hardship whether it be physical, mental or emotional.  It’s easy to slide back and continue the same old comfortable routines, but “easy” only produces average results. Tennis coaches and players habitually choose to groove another basket of balls versus shifting their focus to the actual needs of the player (cause of losses). Why? It’s far less painful.

What’s holding us back is changing our decisions to taking risks versus routinely avoiding risks. Unpredictability and uncertainty should be seen as positive gatekeepers. I recommend moving towards those feelings versus running away from them. We all have an affinity for our habits. All too often we stay too long with those habits not because they’re productive but because we’re loyal to them.

A new relationship to anything may appear risky, but truth be told, it’s often riskier to remain in an ineffective environment. The real danger lies in stagnation. We instinctively know that around the world, opponents are training smarter, faster and more efficiently. Remaining in our comfort zone will only leave us behind the competition. To our detriment, our brains will try to sabotage any and all attempts at doing anything uncomfortable. I recommend shifting focus from the negative attitude of “what could go wrong” to the positive attitude of “what could go right.”

Whose responsibility is it to teach coach-ability? The typical response from a parent is, “I assume my child’s coaches are teaching life skills…right?”  Ask a coach and the response is, “Teaching life skills are the responsibility of the parents. They’re paying me to teach their child strokes.” Ideally, these core values are the result of everyone involved in the athlete’s development, with the parents playing the decisive role. Providing children with the opportunity to take responsibility and instill accountability at an early age is not only an essential skill set for coach-ability but a vital life skill. Communication and independent problem-solving skills are the foundations of coach-ability.

“Two core software skills champions need most are millisecond decision making and problem-solving skills. Both of which, are not commonly found in standardized drilling.”

Is Your Athlete Un-Coachable?

A gifted but un-coachable athlete is every coach’s nightmare. The un-coachable athlete displays the following symptoms: showing up late for practice and lacking personal commitment, passion and real effort. These athletes routinely play the blame game, roll their eyes at constructive feedback and are close-minded to improvement. Un-coachable athletes spend the majority of their training sessions defending their poor choices and creating drama.

“Some athletes cling desperately to bad form because they have spent years developing it.”

Being committed to one’s emotional development isn’t a genetic predisposition, it is a learned behavior nurtured by intelligent parents and coaches. Changing a talented yet un-coachable athlete into a coachable athlete takes great emotional aptitude from both the parents and coach.

Improving an athlete’s software (coach-ability) is often a prerequisite for real learning, quicker growth, and maximizing potential. I believe great coaches and parents have to facilitate coach-ability. They have to convince the athlete that change is good, which is key because learning begins with change and change begins with learning.

Emotional modification begins with the athlete being open and honest enough to develop a humble and respectful attitude, competitive drive, and willingness to learn. It includes gratefulness that a coach cares enough and is willing to tackle the un-pleasantries of the task. Teaching discipline, accountability, and responsibility is a very different job description than teaching a topspin backhand.

Let’s Look at the Characteristics of the Coachable Athlete:

  • Willingness to Accept the Coach’s Philosophy
  • Acceptance of the Necessity for Improvement
  • Desire to be Accountable
  • Optimism and Growth Minded
  • Respectfulness
  • Acceptance of Responsibility
  • Letting Go of Excuses
  • Non-Combative Attitude
  • Open-Minded too Constructive Criticism
  • Eager to Receive Feedback
  • Respectful of the Coach’s Knowledge
  • Selflessness
  • Integrity
  • Courageous

It’s astounding how many young athletes self-sabotage their potential by choosing to ignore the above positive characteristics. Coachable athletes are taught life skills development and religiously held accountable for their morals and ethical conduct by their parents and coaches. Parents and athletes, please look for the above positive characteristics of the coachable athlete in your entourage of coaches as well. You can be sure that quality coaches will be looking for the same positive characteristics in their students and their parents.

In the 1st Edition of The Tennis Parents Bible (published in 2010), I wrote about the importance of positive coaching and parenting. A vital take away was the use of the 5-1 compliment to critique rule (verbal and non-verbal). If athletes are to fire their optimistic responses we have to provide the ammunition. I recommend exposing these qualities in timely condensed sessions. Coaches, the above 14 coachable software skills should be discussed in a creative, interactive information exchange that feels like a chat versus a moral lesson.

Tennis Coaching-Effective Listening

The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

The following excerpt is from The Soft Science of Tennis.

Questions That Motivate Dialogue

A great tool used to develop champions is to ask your athlete their opinion before you tell them your opinion. Questions can be based on an athlete’s perception of their successes or failures.

Dialog producing examples include:

  • “What was the cause of the winner or error?”
  • “How did that feel when you?”
  • “Were you paying attention to the opponent’s?”
  • “What was the highest percentage shot selection at that moment?”
  • “If you could do it again, what would you do?”
  • “What were you tactically trying to achieve?”
  • “Are you staying on script?”

On and off the tennis court, winners are great problem solvers so avoid the parental and coaching temptation to solve all their problems for them. By doing so, you’re robbing them of the exact skill sets needed to win tough future matches. In the big picture, listening to them versus talking “at” them is a much more enjoyable approach for the athlete. It sends the message of trust. It motivates them to take ownership of solution-based thinking. With regards to keeping athletes in the game, customized student-based teaching is a fundamental missing link.

Verbal Communication in the Digital World

It’s no secret that modern adolescents are obsessed with social media, tweeting, and texting. Kids are nurtured from the cradle to communicate through screens instead of interpersonal communication. They prefer texting over talking. It’s the world in which they live.

Research in the field of communication found that a third of American teenagers send more than one-hundred texts a day. They want to feel a personal connection, engaged, inspired and understood…they just don’t know how.  The combination of their ineffective speaking skills combined with our weak listening skills is hurting the development process.

Listening “Between” the Words

Exceptional listeners filter through conversations to identify the true meaning behind their athlete’s words. The ability to “listen” between words helps the listener discern if the student seeks constructive criticism or only a sympathetic ear. Attentive listeners recognize anomalies that enable them to identify the beliefs, attitudes, and feelings behind words. This allows them to interpret the athlete’s spoken truth, fiction, optimism, pessimism, expectation, intentions, trust, past mental habits and belief systems.

“An athlete’s belief system crafts their future. Every syllable they speak engages energy towards them or against them.”

As novice parents and intermediate coaches gain wisdom, they become more in-tune listeners. They discover hidden belief systems behind their athlete’s dialogue. Great listeners know there is “subconscious” energy behind words. Pessimistic behaviors are not difficult to spot because all too often, those very same negative thoughts, tones, words, and actions stem from those nurturing the athlete. As the athlete’s thoughts become their words, those words determine their beliefs and play a deciding role in their performance, especially during stressful match conditions.

When effective listening is applied, the athlete’s sequence of thought-speech-action becomes very clear to the “in-tuned” entourage. Please pay attention to the belief systems habitually used by your athletes. An athlete’s affirmations and inner dialogue can be categorized as optimistic or pessimistic. It should be painfully obvious that their self-coaching either builds them up or tears them down at crunch time.

Some athletes affirm positive results while others affirm catastrophe. Researchers continue to acknowledge the power thoughts have on one’s actions. Studies show how thoughts, beliefs, and emotions affect human behavior. Following, I have listed a handful of tennis specific phrases from the mouths of our athletes and you can bet your life these habitual beliefs affect their match performance.

Pessimistic athletes project performance anxieties with statements such as:

  • “I’m always worried about failing.”
  • “I’m not good enough for that level.”
  • “I’m not ready to compete.”
  • “I can’t do it…I always blow it.”
  • “I’m not jealous but how is Kelly playing #1 and not me?”
  • “I have to win tomorrow or my life is over.”
  • “I don’t belong here.”
  • “I hate this…I hate that…”

Optimistic athletes project self-esteem and confidence with statements such as:

  • “I can’t wait to compete tomorrow.”
  • “I respect him but I’m going to beat him.”
  • “Competing is fun!”
  • “I trained properly and I’m confident in my awesome ability.”
  • “I’m grateful for the privilege of playing.”
  • “I trust my game and problem-solving skills.”
  • “I love the competitive tennis lifestyle.”
  • “I appreciate all the love and support from my parents and coaches.”

“A man is but the product of his thoughts – what he thinks, he becomes.”
                                                      Mahatma Gandhi

Applying Positive Affirmations

If one’s thoughts become one’s reality, what exactly is a positive affirmation? A positive affirmation is a positive declaration or assertion.  As optimistic thoughts sink into one’s subconscious mind, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy over-riding old negative beliefs and habits with positive beliefs and rituals. Positive affirmations sound like silly fluff to specific personality profiles but they are proven methods of emotional improvement. When applied religiously, positive affirmations have the ability to rewire the chemistry in your athlete’s brain. Elite athletes believe in their potential.

Assignment

Ask your athletes to customize ten positive affirmations that will help their self-esteem and confidence. Then ask them to read them aloud into their cell phone voice-recorder app. Finally, ask them to listen to their customized recording nightly as they are falling asleep. As they mentally rehearse their optimistic views, new solution-based habits are formed and negative beliefs are dissolved.

Effective Listening doesn’t stop with the verbal language. A great deal of information is available from the athlete without them saying a single word. The next chapter addresses the high IQ coach’s secret ability to zero in on gathering critical information via non-verbal communication.

The Soft Science of Tennis

The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

 Creating an Exceptional Culture

Mr. Martinez is the tennis operations manager at Big Sky Country Club. A short time ago, he hired Richard as their new tennis director. Richard played college ball, graduated with a highly regarded tennis management degree and his resume checked all the boxes. On the technical side, Richard was microscopically detailed. He could spot a student’s opposing force vectors on their serve six courts away. He was adept at video analysis, organizing compass draws, teaching stroke fundamentals and eager to oversee the clubs racket stringing service. On paper, Richard was a good fit for a Country Club.

Sadly, within weeks, Richard turned out to be a nightmare. While he had tennis business knowledge, he possessed no interpersonal communication skills. Richard’s interactions with members and co-workers were so poor; it led to his termination just one month into the job. Let’s look into why Richard was let go so soon from Big Sky Country Club.

Richard had a pompous demeanor toward everyone all the time. When adult members would ask for his assistance, he would respond with a loud disrespectful sigh.  When Mrs. Jones asked him to fill in with the ladies league for 15-20 minutes until Helen arrived, Richard shook his head in disgust and said, “My hitting rate is the same as my lesson rate. For me to go on court, it’s $120.00 an hour!” Richard even drew complaints from the parents of the junior program because he would scold the children if they smiled and laughed in their beginner’s clinic. Richard was a taskmaster, and to him, clinics were to work and not to play.

The clubs co-workers were also scared of Richard. His pessimistic problem-oriented view of his job made him uncomfortable to be around. The clubs assistant pros reported that he would consistently complain about the facility and the management staff directly to the members. His negative verbal and nonverbal communication reaped havoc throughout the club.

Richard was also incompetent at the most essential interpersonal communication skill:  listening.  For example, one Friday afternoon, Mr. Martinez, the club manager, handed two rackets to Richard and told him that he had assured junior club member, Joey, that both his rackets would be strung by Saturday morning at 8:00 am. He could pick them up on his way out-of-town to the tournament.  Although Richard was looking at Mr. Martinez as he took Joey’s rackets from him, Richard wasn’t listening. His focus was on a tennis match on the pro-shop television.

So Joey and his dad stopped in Saturday morning and his rackets sat unstrung in the pro-shop. The members were obviously upset and Mr. Martinez was furious with Richard.  Mr. Martinez addressed Richard about why they were not strung, and he snapped: “You didn’t tell me to string them yesterday!”

After multiple “red flags” Mr. Martinez had no choice but to put Richard on probation. Richards’s lack of interpersonal communication skills continued to disrupt the clubs optimistic culture. Richard didn’t possess the ability to problem solve, adapt, correct issues or even care to attempt to fit into the clubs corporate guidelines. The final straw was when a member came into the pro-shop and complained that his children are no longer enjoying the clinics and they are considering going elsewhere for lessons. Richard took it personally, called the member an idiot, and instigated a shouting match, “If you want Mikey and Lauren to learn the correct strokes, let me do my job! If you want them to be hackers…then go! I don’t care!”

Richard’s lack of communication skills instigated his firing. He couldn’t apply appropriate decision making, empathy, analyze options or come up with win-win solutions. It was his way or the highway- period. Insulting the members prompted Richard’s demise. The members quit the club and Richard lost his job.

Interpersonal Communication

If technical knowledge is the science of teaching, interpersonal communication is the art of teaching. Interpersonal communication characterizes the interaction that takes place between two or more people. In the coaching world, gaining an understanding of the sports biomechanics is important, but mastering communication is essential. Is your athlete being nurtured interpersonal skills? The following is a laundry list of interpersonal communication skills that facilitate success in tennis and in life.

Accountable, Accuracy, Adaptability, Adept, Alertness, Ambition, Amiability, Analytical, Articulate, Assertive, Attentiveness, Business-like, Capable, Caring, Competence, Confidence, Conscientiousness, Considerate, Consistency, Cooperation, Creative, Critical Thinking, Dedication, Dependability, Detail Oriented, Determination, Diplomatic, Efficiency, Empathy, Encouraging, Energy, Enterprising, Ethical, Experienced, Flexibility, Hardworking, Helpfulness, Honesty, Imaginative, Independent, Industriousness, Influential, Innovation, Insightful, Intuitive, Leadership, Logical Thinking, Loyal, Management, Motivation, Nonverbal Communication, Optimism, Organizational, Passion, Patience, Perceptive, Positive, Practical, Problem Solving, Productive, Professional, Progressive, Punctual, Rational, Realistic, Reflective, Reliable, Resourceful, Respectful, Responsible, Sense Of Humor, Sincere, Sociable, Teachable, Teaching, Teamwork, Technical Literacy, Tolerance, Trustworthy, Understanding, Verbal Communication, Versatility, Visionary, Work Ethic…Whew!

Without a doubt, any parent or coach would love to have their athletes possess these personal skills.

Excellence begins with a positive culture both at home and at the club. In our sport, invested athletes don’t search out places like “Allen’s Average Tennis Academy” or “Mike’s Mundane Monday Night Clinic.” On a conscious level, parents and athletes seek excellent technical knowledge. On the subconscious level, they pursue meaningful interpersonal relationships.

The culture I recommend is solution-oriented versus problem-oriented. Athletes are much more likely to flourish in a solution orientated environment. Coaches that provide a solution-based program are teaching lasting life skills.

A Great Replacement Tip:

Occasionally trade in the old school, pre-hit stretching routine with an upbeat dance-off. Turn up the tunes and watch athletes laugh their guts out while they dynamically stretch their bodies. Trust me, even if they arrive tired, stressed or negative, as they let go, they’ll dance their worries away, and you’ll have 25 kids with 25 huge smiles!

A positive mindset is a precursor to a meaningful session. Parents, the preceding replacement solution also works wonders at home as a way to motivate the family to seek optimism.

“An exceptional culture creates the positive attitude and mindset that promotes growth strategies, which in turn sustains excellence in competition.”

It’s important to note that despite the student’s inherent athletic ability, level of play or commitment to the game, each student deserves the same sports science data, focus, and energy as a high performer. In fact, providing a rich culture of mentoring is precisely how average performers blossom into the high-performance category.

Over the past few years, I conducted an informal study on the culture of tennis facilities throughout my travels around the world. I came to some very predictable conclusions:

The programs with a positive culture were monitored and often reviewed by the owners. They were optimistic by design, and as a result, they achieved thriving, positive environments. They attracted top players organically via their triumphant athletes and their satisfied parents. They also acquired disgruntled clients from the negative cultured programs. As a result, the programs with a positive culture retained athletes up to three times as long as their problem oriented rivals.

The programs with a problem-oriented drill Sargent culture, struggled to keep coaches, to keep students and to pay the rent. As a result, they had to partake in serious recruiting, sales, and marketing to just to keep their doors open.

Audio Book Now Available

The Soft Science of Tennis Now Available in Audio Format Click Here

We all know that mental toughness and emotional resolve are critical skill sets in competition. The Soft Science of Tennis is specially designed to improve the seemingly mysterious software skills. With this groundbreaking book, the athlete will realize an exceptional culture, stronger communication techniques, and a deeper connection. The Soft Science of Tennis helps players, parents, and coaches to identify individual personality profiles and unique cerebral designs to assist them in understanding how the athlete’s inborn genetic predispositions affect their behavior on and off the court. Also included is the importance of positive character traits, life skills, and why a healthy moral compass matters. The Soft Science of Tennis dissects how to conquer essential performance anxieties such as overriding negative belief systems, eliminating internal judgment, and building coachable athletes. Rounding out this book, are several chapters, favored by high IQ coaches around the world, uniquely focused on how to change fixed mindsets, managing fear and risk, and developing confidence and self-esteem. Within these pages, it is my goal to share everything you didn’t even know…you needed to know about the soft science of tennis.

Rethinking Stress- Emotional Aptitude

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The follow post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude in Sports

Rethinking Stress

A very common view within the athletic community is that stress is the enemy in competition- the more stress felt, the worse the performance. Essentially believing that nothing good comes from stress.  But this belief couldn’t be further from the truth. Stress is actually very beneficial to the competitive athlete. Athletes who accept that stress is part of competition, are actually healthier competitors and much more likely to succeed.  How one views competition, ultimately determines the effects that stress has on their performance. In fact, on the playing fields, chasing excellence is better for your well-being than trying to avoid the stress (pain) of competition.

Let’s join up with Evan and Jarrod one last time. This time to discuss their take on the stress of competition.

Question: How does stress in competition effect performance?

Evan: When I feel stressed, my heart beats faster, raising my adrenaline levels and pumping more oxygen throughout my body.  I see stress as a plus- preparing me for the battle. Stress tells me it’s “GO TIME” and I focus better. Without the stress, there wouldn’t be extra hormones running through my body giving me an extra boost.

Jarrod: In the past, when I’m freaking out … My stomach hurt and I became irritable, overwhelmed and angry. All I would think about is the outcome and I panicked and choked.  I guess I chose to go that route. I used to be an
idiot …

Frank’s Tip: Stress isn’t the culprit. It’s how individuals choose to view the stress. If you’re a bit like Jarrod, it is time to apply stress management solutions to help you flip your attitude and learn to use stress to improve your performance.

Final thoughts on Evan and Jarrod: I had a feeling that Evan would help provide young athletes with an optimistic, solution-based voice coming from their peer group. Honestly, I was very worried about Jarrod in the beginning of this process. I speculated wrongly that his narcissistic views couldn’t be swayed. As we dug deeper into the benefits of emotional aptitude, Jarrod slowly but surely changed his rigid stance and began to accept this developmental process. I couldn’t be more pleased that Jarrod is now on board.

Real Talent Is Emotional Toughness

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The Real Talent Is Emotional Toughness

Emotional Aptitude Is a Skill

At the start of a Southern California junior tennis tournament, the referee calls Kristen Michaels and Jenny Scott to court number four for their match. Kristen seemed to be a super fit, committed athlete with poise and solid fundamentals.  She was dressed from head to toe in the newest Nike gear with her hair braided to perfection. She walked onto the court, unpacked her Wimbledon tournament towel, Gatorade and water bottle as she meticulously lined them up next to her chair. She then selected two rackets from her Nike tour bag as she “pings” them together to listen for the perfect string tension. Deciding on one, she immediately started shadow swinging and shuffling her feet as she waited for the umpire to perform the mandatory coin toss.

Jenny on the other hand, did not appear to be as polished. In fact, she looked down right amateur in her California board shorts and surfer T-shirt. At the coin toss, Jenny was still wrestling through her tennis bag looking for a hair tie as the umpire yells “heads or tails?” Jenny grabs the only racket she brought and calmly saunters towards the net. She lets Kristin choose to serve or return. Jenny couldn’t care less.

The 5 minute pre-match warm up started and Kristen looked like a professional.  Her movement and strokes were flawless.  Jenny, on the other side of the net looked unorthodox, as she scrambled to return the ball back Kristin’s way.

The referee called time and the match started. Most watching were sure Kristen was going to blow Jenny off the court. But to the spectator’s surprise, Kristin was struggling, down 0-2 within the first 5 minutes of play. The beautiful strokes we had witness in the warm up were gone. By game 3, Kristin reached her maximum frustration tolerance level. She couldn’t keep a backhand in the court as Jenny profiled her opponent and systematically hit every ball to Kristin’s ailing backhand side. Kristen was angry, stomping around, yelling at herself, screaming at her racket, her coach and her mom.  Jenny, on the other hand, was a composed warrior relentlessly picking on Kristin’s weakness. Within 45 minutes, Jenny went on to win 6-2, 6-0. After the match, Jenny’s mom was overheard only uttered three words “Who wants Taco’s?”

As illustrated above, emotional aptitude isn’t typically identifiable until after competition begins. What separates the elite competitors from the emotionally fragile athletes is their ability to thrive under perceived stress. Emotional aptitude is the ability to overcome hardships and to destress situations rather than magnify stressful situations. Athletes struggling with poor emotional aptitude lack confidence, composure, suffer bouts of self-doubt and possess an overwhelming fear of being judged by others. These performance meltdowns often go unseen in practice but shine in all their glory on game day.

Elite competitors are confident that their superior emotional strength will override any hardships and physical limitations. The emotionally weak athletes are convinced that the unfair hardships and their perceived limitations will override their peak performance and catastrophe will once again occur.

An old school word used to describe emotional aptitude is Grit. In regards to high achievers, researchers have come to the conclusion that successful individuals possess traits deeper than the mastery of athletic ability.  Grit is persistent courage, resolve and strength of character. Grit is the learned ability to have “nerves of steel,” fortitude and determination. Interestingly, some athletes are pre-wired to have these essential components and some are not. For those athletes who are not natural combatants, developing emotional aptitude is critical.

Sadly, emotionally weak competitors often ignore the development of such skills.  Cultivating these character traits is what propels the few into the winner’s circle. If you believe that your emotions are holding you hostage on game day and keeping you from the success you deserve, I suggest focusing your attention on the below list of solutions. See Emotional Aptitude In Sports: Click Here