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Effective Listening

Posted on February 21, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

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Effective Listening

 

 

“We are taught how to read & write efficiently but not to speak and listen effectively.”

 

The genesis of The Soft Science of Tennis for any parent or coach is to learn to be an effective listener. Effective listening is the ability to quietly give one’s undivided attention which creates a more profound bond. Excellent communication between the athlete, coach, and parent is more than the typical dominating disciplinarian versus submissive student. Being listened to and understood is one of an athlete’s greatest desires.

The method in which a parent or coach asks questions and listens is also important. If the athlete views the questions as an intimidating interrogation, they feel frightened and pressured. There is indeed an optimistic demeanor that encompasses effective listening.

Effective Listening Begins with:

  • Get down, physically, to the student’s level.
  • Take off your sunglasses and look them in the eyes.
  • Give them your time. Listen intently.
  • Assume you can learn from the student.
  • Accept their view (set aside your beliefs).
  • Allow them to lead, go with their flow.
  • If you don’t know the answer, say, “Let’s explore that…”
  • Understanding that talking “at” someone isn’t power. Listening is power.
  • Avoid speculating and jumping to conclusions.
  • Maintain their conversational pace and fight the urge to interrupt.
  • Allow them to finish their thoughts and sentences.
  • Focus on spotting key objectives and phrases to discuss later.
  • If you’re planning witty responses, you’re typically not actively listening.
  • Remember, some athletes aren’t seeking advice; they are seeking an empathetic ear.
  • After discussing the issue, ask them for their solutions before offering your solutions.
  • Ask them if they’d like to hear your thoughts.
  • Avoid one-upmanship statements to prove that your past experience trumps theirs.
  • Avoid saying, “I told you so!” Even when you told them so.
  • Facilitate your relationship by applying empathy.
  • Mirror their feelings within the context of their conversation.
  • Follow their train of thought with nodding, caring facial expressions and body language.
  • Re-state their points to clarify that you understand them correctly.
  • Affirm their frustrations. “That sounds difficult, how did you respond?”
  • To keep the focus on them, ask, “How did that make you feel? Versus “Here’s what I would have done!”
  • Conclude with a summarizing statement to ensure that their information was received correctly.
  • Organize future, agreed-upon solutions and job descriptions.

 

Those of us who fail to abide by the above guidelines send damaging subconscious “red flags” to the athlete in regards to the student-teacher relationship. Parents and coaches who are poor listeners send the following messages to their athletes:

  • Your opinions and views aren’t as important as mine.
  • Your feelings are ridiculous and stupid.
  • I’ll explain your position more accurately than you.
  • Listening to you is a waste of my precious time.
  • I’m superior, stop talking and I’ll prove it once again to you.
  • There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard a million times.

Being a thoughtful teacher and communicator begins by being an empathetic listener. Great listeners change the student’s perspective from a problem being a catastrophic event to an issue that is a solvable opportunity for growth.

A New Way to Look at Strategy – Part 2

Posted on February 7, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order  

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Weaknesses

Ann is light in stature. Her opponents are generally much bigger and stronger. We checked off and excluded the “Power Contest” from her A game plan. This is not to say that she might use power as a B or C game plan. Ann also has focus issues. We checked off the “Patience Contest” and excluded it as her A game plan.

 

Strengths

Ann possesses great speed and anticipatory skills. We chose the “Speed Contest” as her A game plan. Ann is extremely intuitive. She can sense when the opponent is vulnerable and knows “How” and “When” to move in and take away the opponent’s recovery and decision-making time.

When Ann chooses to play her “Speed Contest”, she most often is able to move the bigger girls enough to force errors. She can also pull the retrievers off the court to open up winning angles. When Ann chooses to get into a “boomball-power” contest with bigger, stronger girls, she loses. When she chooses to out moonball a “World Class” moonballer she loses!

 

As I mentioned earlier, this section should be a conversation opener with your athlete and their entourage.  Knowing who you are is an important step in formulating your most successful game plans.

A New Way to Look at Strategy – Part 1

Posted on February 5, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order  

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A NEW WAY TO LOOK AT STRATEGY

 

To understand on-court control dramas, take a minute and think of a tennis match as a control contest. Each player is attempting to pull their opponent into their style of play to gain command of the match.

Three Control Dramas Seen in High-Level Tennis:

  • The Power Contest
  • The Speed Contest
  • The Patience Contest

To simplify the process, the goal of competition is to choose the contest your athlete performs best. Then formulate a plan to PULL their opponent out of their own world and into your athlete’s world. Let’s look a little deeper, yet keep it simple:

I have a top 300 WTA player training with me.  We have customized her game plan to hide her weaknesses and expose her strengths. Her body type and brain type play a major role in customizing her success.

Ten Essential Components of The Mentally Tough Competitor- Part 2

Posted on January 31, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order 

 

6) Accept that becoming mentally tough requires sacrifice.  You must choose to be a normal “kid” or a champion. You have to pick one…because you can’t be both.

Mental toughness requires you prioritize your time- putting everyday normal “kid stuff” aside, most of the time, as you become athletic royalty.

 

7) Develop the ability to employ the art of intimidation and to raise the adrenaline level at crunch time.

Raising positive energy at crunch time inflates the athlete’s performance, while systematically deflates the opponent’s performance. Intimidation begins pre-game as the athlete morphs into a “warrior.” Staying in that ‘warrior’ mindset or on-script throughout the competition is essential.

 

8) Choose to be a courageous competitor – playing to win versus playing not to lose.

Applying the strategically correct system the moment demands under pressure, without fear or hesitation, no matter the situation is essential.

 

9) Master the ability to handle adversity – such as poor start times, adverse elements, occasional sickness, minor injuries, and/or gamesmanship.

Choosing to see disadvantages as challenges versus obstacles too difficult to overcome is mental/emotional toughness.

 

10) Persevere and be willing and able to remain on course and stay on-script longer…

Most good athletes are able to perform like a ‘Pro’ occasionally. Greatness stems from an athlete’s ability to perform good after good. Consistently remaining in the peak performance state is essential in the higher echelons of sports.

 

 

Ten Essential Components of The Mentally Tough Competitor- Part 1

Posted on January 24, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order 

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TEN ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS OF THE MENTALLY TOUGH COMPETITOR

 

Because the mental-emotional components are so often misdiagnosed, let’s begin by describing the difference between the mental and emotional components. Mental toughness is the knowledge of the analytical functions of competition- the X’s and O’s of strategy and tactics. Emotional toughness is the ability to control feelings and emotions during competition- courage through confrontation, focus for the duration, controlling nerves, fear and self-doubt, which are categorized as performance anxieties.  Keep in mind that the mental-emotional components are often intertwined. Ask your child’s coaches to meet regarding these important elements.  My bet is that they’ll have terrific insight to assist your athlete in their quest for mental toughness.

 

Ten Essential Components of the Mental/Emotional Tough Competitor:

1) Dedicate physically, mentally and emotionally to the process of becoming mentally tough.

Without full commitment, it is unlikely mental toughness will be achieved.  Mental/emotional toughness can only be mastered by someone who is ready to dig deeper into the strategic, stubborn protocols of winning and the psychology of defeating their own demons. (Known as performance anxieties.)

 

2) Acknowledge that being mentally/emotionally tough isn’t reserved for the gifted few.

Mental/emotional toughness, as well as mental/emotional weakness, is a learned-earned behavior.

People around the world from the passive Buddhist monks to the aggressive Navy Seals spend each day developing their mental/emotional toughness skills.  Some juniors have unknowingly invented their own negative mental/emotional weakness protocols because they are not versed in the process of pre-set protocols. So they return to their negative behaviors under stress. Such as racquet cracking, language outburst, etc.

 

3) Decide to stay the course and confront hardship instead of bailing out at the first sign of confrontation.

Psychologists call it the fight or flight syndrome. Choosing to persevere through difficult circumstances leads to improved confidence. Getting in superb physical shape is a great place to start. Begin the journey by fighting through exhaustion, pain, and discomfort.

 

4) On a daily basis, multi-task and build the mental/emotional muscles along with stroke production.

Closing out every single drill develops mental/emotional toughness. Apply negative scoring during each physical drill on-court to rehearse overcoming hardships. (Drill to 10 – subtracting 1 for each error.)

 

5) Commit to a deliberate customized training regimen. Confidence, belief, and self-trust are learned and earned.

Choosing to do what the moment demands within a millisecond requires preset protocol training. This is deliberate, customized repetition that incorporates how, when and why pre-set solutions are applied.

How To Build Mental Toughness

Posted on January 21, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order 

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HOW TO BUILD MENTAL TOUGHNESS

Players who are confident have a mentally tough aura about them. They are extremely intimidating because their confidence is obvious to all. It’s evident in their body language and facial expressions.  So, how can your athlete develop radiant confidence?

First of all, your athlete starts by reading about it. Then they earn it on the practice court. Mentally tough competitors earn this impenetrable wall of confidence by preparing properly. Mentally tough players are actually much more than just mentally tough. They are mechanically sound, emotionally unflappable and physically fit enough to thrive in third set warfare. Yes, they’re actually mechanically tough, emotionally tough and physically tough.

Below is a checklist of components that need to be developed by your child’s coaches.  Remember, it is your job as the CEO to assist the coaches in raising athletic royalty.

 

Developing Mental Toughness Checklist:

Stroke Mechanics:

  • Develop reliable fundamental (primary) strokes.
  • Develop a tool belt of secondary strokes.

Mental:

  • Organize & rehearse your child’s top 7 patterns of play. (Generic Strategies)
  • Rehearse patterns of play used to pull different styles of opponents out of their game.(Stylistic Strategies)

Emotional:

  • Organize their between point rituals & changeover rituals (both internal & external.)
  • Pre-set protocols to handle performance anxieties.

Athleticism:

  • Build the speed, agility and cardiovascular requirements needed to endure two separate three-set matches a day.
  • Build the strength and stamina required to close out 6 matches in a 3-5 day (64 player draw) event.

 

My students have won close to 100 National titles to date. Each one had a parent and an entourage of great coaches who were very involved in organizing and implementing their developmental plan. Most often, these champs worked their deliberate, customized organizational plan for 2-3 months before becoming National Champions.

 

Special Note to Parents: A partially committed parent is simply a hobbyist. That’s fine – tennis is an incredible hobby that teaches many life lessons. However, a hobbyist parent should be satisfied with raising a hobbyist tennis player and not expect champion results. In today’s game, it’s unfair to expect your child to become a champion without parental commitment.

Developing Your Athlete’s Top 7 Patterns

Posted on January 13, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order 

 

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DEVELOPING YOUR ATHLETE’S TOP 7 PATTERNS

 

Over a decade ago I conducted an on-court developmental case study with a group of similar age and ability level, top-ranked Southern California players. For eight weeks, I trained a group of six athletes with the familiar old school, common academy methods. You’ve seen it a million times. It’s basically playing catch, back and forth, grooving to each other all day. I called them the Red Group.

The other group, called the Blue Group, was trained very different. We customized each athlete’s Top 7 Patterns of play and religiously ran those patterns every single training session. These players focused on offense, neutral and defensive situational protocols and were not allowed to rally back and forth to the opponent. They played keep away for two months…never catch.

 

“Winning matches is a game of keep away… not a game of catch.”

 

After the two month period, the Blue Group beat the Red Group handily for five consecutive team matches. I then decided to permanently switch my training philosophy.  My students started racking up national title after national title.

It’s time to work with your athlete’s coach in designing your child’s very own Top 7 Patterns. Reactive tennis is played at the intermediate levels of the game.  It is simply reacting to the moment without any real plan. Proactive tennis is having a pre-set plan for every point.  Proactive tennis forces the opponent to react to your strengths. These strengths come in the form of strokes and patterns. Most points in junior tennis are almost over when the server walks up to the line to serve, meaning …points are typically short. That’s why this section focuses on starting each point with a specific plan.

“It is estimated that the average point played on the WTA/ATP professional tour is under 4 hits.   This is why starting points with a plan is essential.”

 

The Mental Component: Strategies and Tactics- Part 2

Posted on December 29, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order 

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Stylistic Strategy

Stylistic strategy is your child’s ability to adapt tactics depending on the current style of the opponent. Remind your child not to change their winning tactical system just because the opponent changes game styles. A change is only made if the opponent starts to win and the momentum switches to the opponent’s favor. Styles include retriever, hard-hitting baseliner and all court players. It is imperative that high-performance tennis players develop and rehearse patterns used to beat each style of opponent.

If your athlete has spotted the opponent’s style of play and is still struggling, I recommend shifting focus to the third tier called custom strategy.

A smart competitor will change a losing style of play (shift to plan B). Has your child developed rock-solid B and C game plans? The players who are winning national titles also have solid B and C game plans. Please remind your athletes to rehearse all three styles of play.

Encourage your child to play lesser players in practice sets. This will allow them to rehearse their B and C game plans- often your child’s A plan (hard-hitting baseliners-style) is exactly what the opponent enjoys and playing that system is a losing proposition. Shifting to plan B (steady retriever- style) may be ugly but is the exact system the opponent hates playing against and an extremely difficult match becomes another routine win.

 

Custom Strategy

Custom strategy is your child’s ability to adapt to the day. Your child has to customize to different environmental elements (wind, heat, and shadows), court speeds, brand of ball, elevation as well as the particular strengths and weaknesses of the current opponent (See Opponent Profiling later in this section.)

A common word in the custom strategy phase is tendencies.

To borrow from the boxing world, your child needs to spot what is causing the opponent to “bleed” and then do it more. It is just as important for your child to spot what is causing their own “bleeding” and systematically stop the bleeding.

 

When to Modify versus Change:

If your child is competing well in every game and often has the winning shot on his/her racquet, it is in their best interest to modify their tactics slightly while keeping the current strategic style of play. If they are losing and are not even in the points or games, a much larger shift of complete-game styles may be in order. (For example: Take a bathroom break then change from a hard-hitting baseliner to a steady retriever style of play.)

 

Strategy Basics:

1) Get 66% of your first serves in and preferably into the opponent’s weaker side.
2) Simply return deep balls high, heavy and deep.
3) Attack any ball landing inside your short ball range.
4) Apply the laws of offense, neutral and defensive shot selection.

The Mental Component: Strategies and Tactics- Part 1

Posted on December 27, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

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THE MENTAL COMPONENTS: STRATEGIES AND TACTICS

 

High-performance athletics demands strong mental skills.  Top competitors regularly train their customized mental game components which are their personal best patterns, strategies, and tactics. Well-rehearsed patterns make for a mentally fit competitor.

STRATEGY MADE EASY

Strategy can be so easy yet so complicated. Strategy is changing, adapting and yet ritualistic.  It is science and art. It is psychological yet physiological. It can be beautiful and oh so ugly. Strategy applied correctly allows your child to meet the opponent under advantageous conditions. Applying strategy keeps your child focused and in the correct optimal performance state of mind.

Let’s look at strategy in a simple but effective format. Below are three categories of on-court strategy that elite players must understand and master: generic, stylistic and customized.

Generic Strategy

Generic strategy is simply applying the player’s core strengths with pre-planned patterns and strategies. The goal is to expose a player’s natural strengths and force their opponent to respond to those strengths. Generic strategy consist of your child’s optimal serving patterns, return patterns, rally patterns, short ball options, and net rushing patterns. These tactics are identified and practiced prior to match play and will be used January through December, from the first round through the finals, in Miami or Moscow, on clay or on hard courts. The Generic strategy is your child’s every day “nuts and bolts” game plan. Learning to apply one’s genetic tactical assault, will lead to your athlete hitting the same old “boring” winners match after match.

If your athlete’s generic (day-in-day-out) strategy is working, there is no need for change. In fact, juniors who change a winning strategy usually suffer the consequences. If it is not working, then it’s simply time to shift into the second phase of strategy called stylistic strategy.

 

 

Finding the Right Teaching Professional – Part 2

Posted on December 22, 2019 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

 

Facts to Consider When Selecting a Pro

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Finding a Pro is easy. Finding the right Pro will require more thought and leg work. You may be using different types of Pros for different reasons. Below are a few insider tips to help you hire your entourage of coaches:

 

  • In every region, only a very small percentage of pros actually teach the top players. (There are very big differences between teachers and recruiters.)
  • Look for a coach who’s enjoying what they do, it’s contagious.
  • Seek out a Pro that is so busy, that they don’t need you.
  • The 10,000-hour rule applies! Being a master coach is a learned experience.
  • Seek out a Pro who understands your child’s unique Brain and Body Type (Genetic Predisposition).
  • Make sure the coach is asking questions, customizing and targeting their lessons.
  • Ask every player that beats your kid, “Great match…who is your coach? Where do you train?”
  • Ask a prospective coach, “We’ve heard great things about you, may we come and observe a few of your lessons?”
  • Pay the coach to chart a match and devise his game plan for improvement. Meet regarding his observations and suggestions.
  • Ask for a resume and who they trained under. (As a teacher- not as a player.)
  • Look for a coach that encourages independent thinking versus dependent thinking.
  • While there are exceptions, a former ATP/WTA challenger player does not always translate into a great teacher. The most successful tennis coaches were not the most successful tour players.
  • Be wary of a Pro that discourages you from hitting with other pros, hitters or trainers!

 

SPECIAL NOTE: To avoid confusion, employ one coach per job at any given time. Two different coaches employed to fix a serve may prove to be extremely confusing for your child. Conflicting information and battling egos spells trouble!

 

“It often proves beneficial to secretly observe a coach or academies without the coaching staff knowing you are a future client.  This experience will provide you with
an honest assessment of their program.”