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Tennis Training- Listening Part 4

Posted on April 27, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

 

Pessimistic athletes project performance anxieties with statements such as:

  • “I’m always worried about failing.”
  • “I’m not good enough for that level.”
  • “I’m not ready to compete.”
  • “I can’t do it…I always blow it.”
  • “I’m not jealous but how is Kelly playing #1 and not me?”
  • “I have to win tomorrow or my life is over.”
  • “I don’t belong here.”
  • “I hate this…I hate that…”

 

Optimistic athletes project self-esteem and confidence with statements such as:

  • “I can’t wait to compete tomorrow.”
  • “I respect him but I’m going to beat him.”
  • “Competing is fun!”
  • “I trained properly and I’m confident in my awesome ability.”
  • “I’m grateful for the privilege of playing.”
  • “I trust my game and problem-solving skills.”
  • “I love the competitive tennis lifestyle.”
  • “I appreciate all the love and support from my parents and coaches.”

 

“A man is but the product of his thoughts – what he thinks, he becomes.”
Mahatma Gandhi

 

Applying Positive Affirmations

If one’s thoughts become one’s reality, what exactly is a positive affirmation? A positive affirmation is a positive declaration or assertion.  As optimistic thoughts sink into one’s subconscious mind, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy over-riding old negative beliefs and habits with positive beliefs and rituals. Positive affirmations sound like silly fluff to specific personality profiles but they are proven methods of emotional improvement. When applied religiously, positive affirmations have the ability to rewire the chemistry in your athlete’s brain. Elite athletes believe in their potential.

 

Assignment

Ask your athletes to customize ten positive affirmations that will help their self-esteem and confidence. Then ask them to read them aloud into their cell phone voice-recorder app. Finally, ask them to listen to their customized recording nightly as they are falling asleep. As they mentally rehearse their optimistic views, new solution based habits are formed and negative beliefs are dissolved.

 

Effective Listening doesn’t stop with the verbal language. A great deal of information is available from the athlete without them saying a single word. The next chapter addresses the high IQ coach’s secret ability to zero in on gathering critical information via non-verbal communication.

 

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Tennis Training- Listening Part 3

Posted on April 25, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

Frank Giampaolo

Verbal Communication in the Digital World

 

It’s no secret that modern adolescents are obsessed with social media, tweeting, and texting. Kids are nurtured from the cradle to communicate through screens instead of interpersonal communication. They prefer texting over talking. It’s the world in which they live.

Research in the field of communication found that a third of American teenagers send more than one-hundred texts a day. They want to feel a personal connection, engaged, inspired and understood…they just don’t know-how.  The combination of their ineffective speaking skills combined with our weak listening skills is hurting the development process.

 

Listening “Between” the Words

Exceptional listeners filter through conversations to identify the true meaning behind their athlete’s words. The ability to “listen” between words helps the listener discern if the student seeks constructive criticism or only a sympathetic ear. Attentive listeners recognize anomalies that enable them to identify the beliefs, attitudes, and feelings behind words. This allows them to interpret the athlete’s spoken truth, fiction, optimism, pessimism, expectation, intentions, trust, past mental habits, and belief systems.

 

“An athlete’s belief system crafts their future. Every syllable they speak engages energy towards them or against them.”

 

As novice parents and intermediate coaches gain wisdom, they become more in-tune listeners. They discover hidden belief systems behind their athlete’s dialog. Great listeners know there is “subconscious” energy behind words. Pessimistic behaviors are not difficult to spot because all too often, those very same negative thoughts, tones, words, and actions stem from those nurturing the athlete. As the athlete’s thoughts become their words, those words determine their beliefs and play a deciding role in their performance, especially during stressful match conditions.

When effective listening is applied, the athlete’s sequence of thought-speech-action becomes very clear to the “in-tuned” entourage. Please pay attention to the belief systems habitually used by your athletes. An athlete’s affirmations and inner dialog can be categorized as optimistic or pessimistic. It should be painfully obvious that their self-coaching either builds them up or tears them down at crunch time.

Some athletes affirm positive results while others affirm catastrophe. Researchers continue to acknowledge the power thoughts have on one’s actions. Studies show how thoughts, beliefs, and emotions affect human behavior. Following, I have listed a handful of tennis-specific phrases from the mouths of our athletes and you can bet your life these habitual beliefs affect their match performance.

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Tennis Training- Listening Part 2

Posted on April 24, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

Those of us who fail to abide by the above guidelines send damaging subconscious “red flags” to the athlete in regards to the student-teacher relationship. Parents and coaches who are poor listeners send the following messages to their athletes:

  • Your opinions and views aren’t as important as mine.
  • Your feelings are ridiculous and stupid.
  • I’ll explain your position more accurately than you.
  • Listening to you is a waste of my precious time.
  • I’m superior, stop talking and I’ll prove it once again to you.
  • There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard a million times.

Being a thoughtful teacher and communicator begins by being an empathetic listener. Great listeners change the student’s perspective from a problem being a catastrophic event to an issue that is a solvable opportunity for growth.

Questions That Motivate Dialog

A great tool used to develop champions is to ask your athlete for their opinion before you tell them your opinion. Questions can be based on an athlete’s perception of their successes or failures.

Dialog producing examples include:

  • “What was the cause of the winner or error?”
  • “How did that feel when you?”
  • “Were you paying attention to the opponent’s?”
  • “What was the highest percentage shot selection at that moment?”
  • “If you could do it again, what would you do?”
  • “What were you tactically trying to achieve?”
  • “Are you staying on script?”

On and off the tennis court, winners are great problem solvers so avoid the parental and coaching temptation to solve all their problems for them. By doing so, you’re robbing them of the exact skill sets needed to win tough future matches. In the big picture, listening to them versus talking “at” them is a much more enjoyable approach for the athlete. It sends the message of trust. It motivates them to take ownership of solution-based thinking. With regard to keeping athletes in the game, customized student-based teaching is a fundamental missing link.

 

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Tennis Training- Listening Part 1

Posted on April 22, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

IMG_080_R_WHITE

Effective Listening

 

The modern challenge of parenting and teaching tennis players is to let go of thinking like a repetitive “paint by the numbers” painter and to look at developing an athlete as a form of art. Teaching is art because each student is an original canvas.

Famous artists paint unique, one of a kind subjects and so should you. Don’t be another painter, be an artist because teaching is art. If you’re a “paint by the numbers” coach or parent, chances are you, and your athletes will never really be in high demand. Average parenting or coaching skills often produce average athletes. If you’re a coach, think about the athlete’s needs. Who wants to be an average athlete? No one! If you’re a parent, your child doesn’t need a well-intended yet mediocre tennis parent making the journey more difficult. They need a high IQ leader.

 

“We are taught how to read & write efficiently but not to speak and listen effectively.”

 

The genesis of The Soft Science of Tennis for any parent or coach is to learn to be an effective listener. Effective listening is the ability to quietly give one’s undivided attention which creates a more profound bond. Excellent communication between the athlete, coach, and parent is more than the typical dominating disciplinarian versus submissive student. Being listened to and understood is one of an athlete’s greatest desires.

The method in which a parent or coach asks questions and listens is also important. If the athlete views the questions as an intimidating interrogation, they feel frightened and pressured. There is indeed an optimistic demeanor that encompasses effective listening.

Effective Listening Begins with:

  • Get down, physically, to the student’s level.
  • Take off your sunglasses and look them in the eyes.
  • Give them your time. Listen intently.
  • Assume you can learn from the student.
  • Accept their view (set aside your beliefs).
  • Allow them to lead, go with their flow.
  • If you don’t know the answer, say, “Let’s explore that…”
  • Understanding that talking “at” someone isn’t power. Listening is power.
  • Avoid speculating and jumping to conclusions.
  • Maintain their conversational pace and fight the urge to interrupt.
  • Allow them to finish their thoughts and sentences.
  • Focus on spotting key objectives and phrases to discuss later.
  • If you’re planning witty responses, you’re typically not actively listening.
  • Remember, some athletes aren’t seeking advice; they are seeking an empathetic ear.
  • After discussing the issue, ask them for their solutions before offering your solutions.
  • Ask them if they’d like to hear your thoughts.
  • Avoid one-upmanship statements to prove that your past experience trumps theirs.
  • Avoid saying, “I told you so!” Even when you told them so.
  • Facilitate your relationship by applying empathy.
  • Mirror their feelings within the context of their conversation.
  • Follow their train of thought with nodding, caring facial expressions and body language.
  • Re-state their points to clarify that you understand them correctly.
  • Affirm their frustrations. “That sounds difficult, how did you respond?”
  • To keep the focus on them, ask, “How did that make you feel? Versus “Here’s what I would have done!”
  • Conclude with a summarizing statement to ensure that their information was received correctly.
  • Organize future, agreed-upon solutions and job descriptions.

 

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WHY Mental and Emotional Tennis Training?

Posted on April 20, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book,
The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

The Soft Science of Tennis

During the past three decades, the business of tennis coaching has become much more scientific. Biomechanics, technique, and technology have changed the hardware (strokes and athleticism) for the better, yet, the software (mental and emotional) has been routinely ignored.

 

frank

I was fortunate to begin my career at The Vic Braden Tennis College as a tennis instructor. Back in the 1980’s stroke production was the focal point. As I opened and directed tennis colleges throughout the country, I had the opportunity to work with top nationally-ranked athletes and touring pros. It was then that I realized that although stroke production was fundamental to the game of tennis, it was by no means the whole story. I found that the athletes with sound hardware (strokes and athleticism) and under-developed software (mental and emotional components) struggled in competition. So, for the past 20 years, I’ve immersed myself in the study of the athlete’s competitive software.

 

When Sergey Brin and Larry Page founded Google in 1998, they believed that only techies understood technology, so they set the companies hiring algorithms to employ computer science students from elite Universities. Fifteen years later Google began Project Oxygen to test their hiring methods. The conclusion of the research project shocked everyone. Among the seven most valued qualities of Google’s top employees, technical expertise came in dead last. Interestingly, what proved more important to their corporate culture was SOFT SKILLS.

The following are the seven essential personality traits Google prioritizes in their hiring process:

  • Effective Coaching Skills
  • Effective Communication and Listening Skills
  • Empathy and Support for Others
  • Effective Critical Thinking Skills
  • Effective Problem Solving Skills
  • Ability to Connect Across Complex Ideas
  • Technical Expertise

Since exposing these findings, Google takes soft skills very, very seriously. Like Google’s search engine business, most of the tennis-teaching industry assumes that hard skills (biomechanics and tennis technical knowledge) are most important.

The Soft Science of Tennis,  shares insights as to why soft skills matter and their significance may be more important than we were led to believe. The beliefs of athletes are directly influenced by their interactions with coaches and parents. After all, great coaching requires great collaborating, which is at the heart of The Soft Science of Tennis.

This book is designed to improve our tennis-specific soft skills that are the behaviors that enable us to connect more efficiently. Soft science characteristics are learned behaviors, and when properly nurtured lead to more effective and harmonious development of our athletes.

In the two years, it took me to research and write this book, the one reoccurring theme throughout this journey was “invest in the person, not just the player.” Whatever industry your athletes choose, whichever position they desire, they’ll take their soft skills with them for the rest of their life.

 

To Order The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here  soft science

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Tennis Growth – Changing Fixed Mindsets- Part 3

Posted on April 18, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

soft science

Benefits of Competition for Fixed Mindsets

Many undeniable, positive aspects stem from tournament competition.

Advantages include:

  • Competition keeps us honest: It allows us to assess our strokes and movement efficiencies and deficiencies. Exposing our strengths and hiding our weaknesses is an important function of match play.
  • Competition assists us in the art of opponent profiling. Without match play, there’s no dissecting because there are no opponents.
  • Competition exposes our mental fortitude. The ability to stay on Script (your customized game plan), strategy and tactics the match demands.
  • Competition through failure and success helps us develop a massive list of life skills, positive character traits, and a moral compass.
  • Competition aids in developing consistent quality. Winning a 64 draw event requires peak performance for approximately 15 sets.
  • Competition assists us in customizing our future developmental schedules. It’s not the quantity of on-court time; it’s the quality that counts.

 

Tennis mastery is a process of continuous adaptation and improvement, which is a growth mindset system.

 

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Tennis Growth – Changing Fixed Mindsets- Part 2

Posted on April 17, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

frank

Recognize the Negative Dialog

Athletes with a pessimistic viewpoint have a running dialog that continually persuades them that they don’t honestly have enough talent, and if they fail, they will be criticized for trying. Many athletes invent an excuse or injury and avoid competition. By doing so, they keep their dignity and ego in check.

 

The following two solutions will help challenge the fixed mindset worrywart to consider adopting a growth mindset warrior attitude.

  1. Explain that Mindset Is a Choice

Their mental habit is to choose to interpret competition as a serious personal threat. Fixed mindset athletes are typically worried about what could and will go wrong versus what could and will go right. This pessimistic view tears down the will to give 100% effort. Changing from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset is challenging because the athlete has an onslaught of two simultaneous opposing demands. One is the need to suppress their pre-set, negative mental habit and two is to be open to learning to embrace the exact opposite viewpoint.

  1. Present the Opposing View

Fixed-mindset athletes need to be reminded that improving and growing requires a metamorphosis into a growth mindset. As these students ramp into tournament mode, be on high alert for their worry, stress, and fears to multiply. They view tournament competition as an event that will expose their shortcomings. It’s our job to present tournament play as a healthy way to assess their development necessary to obtain their goals.

Warning: Responding to and changing their negative banter is emotionally draining even for the well-equipped software developing coach.

Examples of a fixed mindset approach include:

Athlete: “I can’t play, my games not perfect yet. I’m not ready.”

Teacher: “Every time you compete, you learn and improve, and that is the goal.”

Athlete: “If I don’t compete I won’t fail, and I can keep my pride.”

Teacher: “The only true failure is being too scared to try.”

Training the stroke components is only the beginning of a world-class coach’s journey. Having the tools to develop the whole athlete is the end game.

  1. Religiously Spot the Positive

On practice days, I recommend applying the laws of attraction. Destroy their pessimistic point of view by asking them to say “yes” after performing a desired stroke or pattern of play. By doing so, it brings to light just how many good strokes they actually hit. This exercise combats their mental habit of focusing on the negative. Success starts by focusing on successes versus failures. It requires changing their doubt in their abilities because their doubt directly undermines their progress.

Once these pessimists see the progress in their abilities, they begin to show positive character traits and critical newborn life skills.

  1. Commit to Playing One Game

On match days, fixed mindset “red flags” are everywhere as they try desperately to self-sabotage their performance. By doing so, they’re building their arsenal of excuses for their ego out. “I would have won, but I didn’t have time to train.” “I could have won if I didn’t have this blister on my thumb.”

Also, typical with fixed mindset athletes is to try desperately to back out of competition the morning of the match.

The negotiation tactic I recommend is to ask them to enjoy their pre-match preparation and commit to playing at least one game. If the athlete still wants to default out after one game, that’s fine. Once in the match, they almost always see that the environment is not as threatening as they perceived. The opponent’s not as good as they imagined. So they play a few more games.

Teach my growth mindset philosophy: You have to be present to win. Opportunities and incredible victories present themselves if the athletes are willing to try.

 

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Tennis Growth – Changing Fixed Mindsets- Part 1

Posted on April 15, 2020 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis. Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

soft science

Changing Fixed Mindsets

Last week two top juniors, Steven and Josh were closing out one of their semi-private, two-hour sparring sessions. Josh from Boca Raton, Fl. has a natural inquisitive growth mindset. Steven, from San Francisco, California, possesses a defeatist attitude with his fixed mindset. Steven’s a perfectionist and believes only perfect performances are acceptable.

As Steven was leaving Josh asked me if he could ask me a couple of questions. While I was packing up my gear, Josh asked, “Being solid at crunch time isn’t something that just happens. It’s something you have to develop, right?” “Absolutely,” I replied. “Well, Steven doesn’t think he can win the whole Anaheim tournament next weekend, so he says he doesn’t want to go. He’ll probably fake an injury or something. His story is getting old. I don’t understand why he puts so much pressure on himself to win. Even though I want to win every tournament I enter, I’m happy to play well. You know one point at a time.  I hope to learn from my losses by working harder to improve. So by competing, I’m increasing my tennis intelligence and raising my level, right?”

I confirmed Josh’s position and then said, “A growth mindset is about the journey of seeking mastery, instead of viewing losses as catastrophic.  You can see losses as information gathering opportunities, and that buddy is why you’re going to be famous!” Josh smiled, rolled his eyes and said “Good talk coach…good talk.”

We’ve all had students who have high IQ’s (Intelligence Quotient) but low EQ’s (Emotional Quotient). These athletes are wired to avoid risk while they witness others thrive in competition.

A challenge within The Soft Science of Tennis is to educate these students that their mindset is only their perception of their abilities. After the athlete’s stroke development is said and done, it’s their optimistic or pessimistic attitude that determines competitive success on the tennis court. It is within the parent and coaches job description to develop the power of belief along with a powerful forehand.

Fixed Mindset individuals innately believe that their abilities are inborn and unchangeable.

Growth Mindset individuals trust that their skill sets can and will be developed and improved.

In my observations, fixed mindset students are typically overly sensitive to being wrong. They see failing in competition as catastrophic. If they lose, it’s often something or someone else’s fault, and constructive criticism is taken as a personal insult. Changing this mindset is one of the most challenging roles of a parent or coach.

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Tough Love Insights to Successful Competitive Tennis- Part 12

Posted on April 13, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

frank

Advance competitive tennis demands more than simply hitting another basket of balls. Parents and players need to recognize and understand that:

  • To compete at the highest levels, mental, and emotional tennis training must be part of the athlete’s developmental plan.
  • The real issues of competitive failures.
  • Inefficient training routines need to be redirected.

The following posts list some common training missteps that competitive tennis players and parents need to acknowledge and refine to maximize performance.

Tough Love Insights to Successful Competitive Tennis

Insight Twelve: Top national players don’t take summers off. They often don’t enjoy holiday breaks at home, relaxing with family and friends because they are thrilled to be competing at the highest level.

Possible Solution: I recommend combining National events with enjoying activities “indigenous to the region” making your tennis journey more memorable.

 

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Tough Love Insights to Successful Competitive Tennis- Part 11

Posted on April 9, 2020 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most online retailers!  Click Here to Order

frank

Advance competitive tennis demands more than simply hitting another basket of balls. Parents and players need to recognize and understand that:

  • To compete at the highest levels, mental, and emotional tennis training must be part of the athlete’s developmental plan.
  • The real issues of competitive failures.
  • Inefficient training routines need to be redirected.

The following posts list some common training missteps that competitive tennis players and parents need to acknowledge and refine to maximize performance.

 

Tough Love Insights to Successful Competitive Tennis

Insight Eleven: Clean strokes will get you into the event, fitness will progress you into the later rounds, but mental and emotional aptitude will win the tournament for you – if you’ve developed it.

Possible Solution: Play practice sets with a specific training goal such as closing out leads, hitting the shot the moment demands, and handling those “creative line callers.”

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