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Overriding Negative Past Belief Systems- Part 1

Posted on August 17, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Overriding Negative Past Belief SystemsSoft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

 

It was September 1986, after my second stint teaching tennis at the Wooster College Summer Tennis Camps. I decided that I wanted to give full-time tennis teaching a real shot. I’d been trapped in Ohio‘s nonstop rain watching a PBS television series called Future Sports. There on my TV, I watched a young Vic Braden combine standup comedy with the most intriguing sports science I’d ever heard. This short, pudgy tennis teacher with a contagious smile was light years ahead of any tennis instruction I’d ever seen. If I were to impact my clients, I’d first have to be a student of the game and improve my tennis IQ, and for that, I would need a real mentor.

I arrived in Southern California, drove past Cooks Corner, a Harley biker bar that’s still going strong today, and continued driving up El Toro, for what seemed to be a never-ending road, straight to Coto De Caza. I knocked on the office door of the famous Vic Braden Tennis College. “Hi, I’m Frank. I want to learn how to coach this game. I’m a decent player and have a knack for people.” Mary Lay, The Tennis College Director, said, in the sweetest voice, “Well, we have a full staff, and we get about a dozen great resumes a week but if you want to take notes and observe Vic and the staff you’re welcome here!”

So, every day for the next two weeks I arrived at the tennis college at 8:00 a.m. and left the gates around 6:00 p.m. all the while intently observing and taking six legal pads full of notes. Fourteen days later, I was offered a job coaching at this prestigious tennis school called The Vic Braden Tennis College (VBTC). I guess they saw that the new 23-year-old kid was persistent and hungry for knowledge.

I couldn’t have been happier being paid to continue to learn while I taught. It was at this time when I discovered how emotionally inept I was… A VBTC seasoned coach placed a handheld cassette tape recorder under my teaching basket. He said it would be meaningful for me to tape a session and to listen to the recording and count how many positive to negative comments I had made. In a one-hour recording, I was horrified and humiliated to admit that I said “Don’t do this, don’t do that” 49 times! …And I thought I was helping! If I could find that poor couple today, I’d gladly refund them their money. I wanted to be so positive and helpful, but my past belief systems came out in all their negative glory. It was a life-changing, soul-crushing lesson I needed to learn. My pessimistic past was influencing my coaching.

Ironically, as I had observed Vic coaching, I felt a kindred spirit (We were both ENFP’s), and I knew I was in the right place. My genetic predisposition had always been to be kind and personable. Observing Vic validated my intuition that his positive view of the world was a better fit for me personally.

During my first year of teaching at the VBTC, I worked continuously to override my negative past beliefs and exposed my true positive genetic predisposition. My childhood experiences molded my inner beliefs, and these subconscious, pessimistic character traits didn’t sit well with me. Vic, and his wife Melody, and the kind tennis college staff encouraged me daily with the power of choice. They helped me turn my scars into praiseworthy character. Interestingly, they did so much more than teach me how to teach the game. They taught me how to change from a pessimist to an optimist, and I owe the world to them. Fortunately for me, I was able to open and direct Vic Braden Tennis Colleges, represent Vic as his agent, and most importantly, become lifelong friends.

The Importance of Nurturing- Tennis Development Part 2

Posted on August 12, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

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Developmental Psychology

 

“It is not nature versus nurture; it is nature and nurture.”

 

Today there’s a movement called Developmental Psychology. These experts research the intertwining relationship between genetic and environmental influences. In regards to the athletes’ environmental influences, the two most important influences I’ve witnessed are their parents and coaches. Teachers and older siblings come in a close second. We influence why athletes think the way they think, why they say what they say and why they do what they do. We are the environmental influences that mold their talents and temperaments.

Developmental Psychology researchers use the word plasticity as they discover deeper implications to how humans respond to nurturing. Following are two negative pre-match preparation pep-talks given to an athlete by his parents. Although both messages lack positive support, it is the way in which the athlete chooses to respond that is interesting.

 

Toxic Pre Match Parental Pep Talk

“Joseph, if you blow it again this weekend, your mother and I are considering pulling the plug on your tennis. I’ll be taking notes and listing all your shortcomings on my iPad. Don’t blow it! Love, Dad.”

 

Uninvolved Parent Pre Match Dialog

 

“Joey, honey… Mommy’s driving into the city to Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale. I have to drop you off at 7:00 a.m. I put lunch money in your bag. Enjoy your little game. I’ll pick you up between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. Mommy.”

 

Although the first pep talk is clearly negative and soul-wrenching to read let alone experience, the second pep talk is just as negative. A parent that takes no interest in their child’s passion is showing a lack of support and encouragement. Remember, it’s how the athlete chooses to respond that’s critical. Some athletes work hard to prove their parents right. Some fight all their lives to prove their parents wrong. Which of the following responses would you choose?

Response A-The Athletes folds as they feel the lack of parental confidence, love, and support and shortly quit the game. Proving the parents right.

Response B– The athlete applies plasticity as they use their parent’s horrendous pre-match pep talks to motivate better performance. Proving the parents wrong.

 

Self-Nurturing

I believe that high-performance athletes determined to be the best they can be, have to take nurturing to another level. I call it self-nurturing, and I believe it to be the most important life skill. Self-nurturing is choosing to apply persistence and resiliency in the face of poor outside influences. I’ve witnessed athletes with incredible coaching and parenting who choose to fail, as well as, athletes with absolutely pitiful coaching and parenting who choose to succeed.

If success is in the athlete’s blood, I suggest motivating them to think of the negative people and their words as fuel. Proving someone wrong who doesn’t believe in them is a powerful motivation. It’s self-nurturing at its finest. These individuals make the athlete work smarter, harder, and longer …all for the reward of proving them wrong. Revenge is funny that way.

Improving self-nurturing skills requires us to put aside our ego and listen to others. I’m not suggesting that you agree with 100% of what they’re saying, but rather consider the context of their words and take a look in the mirror and decide if there’s any truth to their comments. Every one of us has aspects of our life that we can improve.

Coaches, parents, and athletes with a little self-reflection, we can all challenge ourselves in the realm of self-nurturing. To me, self-nurturing is a daily self-educating process. Every industry leader I admire is obsessed with self-improvement. They research relentlessly, attend conferences, read, write books, and take online courses to continue to learn and improve. They expose their deficiencies and make them efficiencies.

“The great self-nurturers of our time are growth mindset individuals who see futuristically, something greater that is currently present.”

The Importance of Nurturing- Tennis Development Part 1

Posted on August 9, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

The Importance of Nurturing

 

A family from Georgia called to book a 3-day customized evaluation session with me in California. Steven, the dad, was a former nationally ranked junior and top college player. Eddy, his 14-year-old son, is a junior competitor. As we began our tennis evaluation, within minutes, I noticed some glaring red flags. Halfway through the morning session, I could tell that Steven wanted Eddy to be a tennis star much more than Eddy.

A lack of athleticism wasn’t the cause of Eddy’s failings in tournament competition. I realized rather quickly what was keeping Eddy from attaining the results he was capable of achieving. Although Eddy was a talented ball-striker, he needed a customized development plan to develop the skills essential to becoming an elite athlete.

In our afternoon session, after we bonded a bit, I asked Eddy, “Bro, What are your tennis goals? Where do you see yourself in four years?” Eddy responded, “I don’t know. I mean, I’ll give it a try…if it works out then great. Fed’s life doesn’t look too shabby. I guess I could be a pro like Roger.”

Eddy’s common lackadaisical approach showed interest in the game but lacked commitment, and there’s a big difference between interest and commitment. Athletes merely interested in the sport, train when they feel like it. They train when it conveniently fits into their social calendar. I asked Eddy what was holding him back.  Eddy said, “I don’t know…I just don’t always feel like training.” I added that’s fair because you’ve got to commit to it, to believe in it.” The seed was planted. I simply needed to let it blossom within.

At lunch, I asked Steven if he thought Eddy was committed to excellence. He hesitated and then said, “No but that’s why I brought him cross-country to you. I hear that you’re great at motivating excellence and nurturing that commitment.”

While evaluating Eddy’s hardware (strokes and athleticism) with on-court drills, I began the positive brainwashing process of nurturing his commitment. I reminded Eddy that he had mentioned that his buddies at home were all top 20 in his section. “Yeah, and I’m tired of losing early every tournament and being their stupid cheerleader,” I asked him if he thought he was doing all he could to be the best tennis player possible. He responded, “No, probably not…”

All too often naive athletes want the rewards to materialize before the hard work takes place. I mentioned to Eddy several times throughout our three-day evaluation that is a commitment to excellence means that if he wanted to join his buddies in the top 20, he would have to prioritize his tennis above his social life. Athletes have to train like world-class athletes for years before they ever reach world-class status. I then threw out a couple of goofy life analogies: “You’ve got to chop the wood and build a fire before you feel the heat, right? You’ve got to prepare the soil, plant the seed and work the fields before you can harvest the crop”, right?” Before I could throw out another annoying analogy, Eddy interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah I get it. There are two approaches: Commitment to excellence or acceptance of mediocrity.” “Right! And either way, you’ve got to live with your decision.” I replied.  At that moment, I sensed that the light bulb went off in his head. I’ve got an idea, “Let’s work through it together and commit for 3-months. After 3-months, if it isn’t working for you, then you’re free to chill and play the sport as a hobby. Give the 100% commitment a shot. I bet that if you put in the effort and stick to your customized developmental plan week in and week out, you’ll transform into a top 20 player by year’s end!”

Six weeks later I got a text from Eddy with a photo of him holding up his first USTA trophy. All it said was, “I just had to climb the mountain…then I was able to see the view. Thanks, Coach!”

 

Character Traits- Part 3

Posted on August 4, 2021 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

16. Effort: The amount of energy put into an attempt.

17. Sincerity: The quality of being free from pretense and deceit.

18. Open-Mindedness: The willingness to consider new ideas without prejudice.

19. Unselfishness: The desire to accept the needs of others before your own.

20. Humble: Showing a modest estimate of your importance.

 

So does participation in sports help build praiseworthy character traits? Yes, but an athlete’s character must be first introduced, nurtured, and developed by parents and coaches. The essential character traits demonstrated on-court in competition were first gained off-court. These traits were nurtured by choice …not by chance.

Character Traits- Part 2

Posted on August 2, 2021 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

20 Essential Character Traits Worth Educating- Continued

 

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6. Respectfulness: A curious regard for other’s feelings or situations.

7. Grit: Strength of character; courage and resolve.

8. Integrity: Having a strong moral compass and principles.

9. Innovative: Applying creative problem solving and advanced thinking.

10. Competency: The ability to perform efficiently and successfully.

11. Honesty: Acting with fairness and righteous conduct.

12. Loyalty: A strong feeling of support or allegiance to your supporters.

13. Ethics: The morals and principles that govern your behavior.

14. Patience: The capacity to tolerate delay or suffering without getting upset.

15. Desire: A deep feeling of acquiring something or wishing for it to happen.

Character Traits- Part 1

Posted on July 28, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

Soft Science of Tennis_3D_Cover_version5

Character Traits

Character and a solid moral compass are part of the athlete’s foundation, which dictates behavior and facilitates success. The same is true for a successful coaching business; the character traits found in a champion are the same character traits that provide the foundation of a sustainable business.

20 Essential Character Traits Worth Educating

Print the following 20 Essential Character Traits and review them with your athlete. Discuss how each trait affects their personal tennis development.

  1. Motivation: The reason or reasons for attaining your goals.
  2. Trustworthiness: The ability to be relied on as honest or truthful.
  3. Gratitude: The appreciation of actions and benefits bestowed upon you.
  4. Accountability: The condition of being responsible for your actions.
  5. Commitment: The position of being dedicated to your cause.

 

Physical Skills Versus Life Skills- Part 2

Posted on July 26, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

soft science

I work primarily with nationally, and ITF-ranked juniors, college athletes, and young touring professionals. Athletes at this level are successful due to their skills management. In my world of high-performance athletes, stats are important because they help customize the athlete’s training regimen.

In regards to stats, the following are the typical percentages ratios of physical skills to life skills that I have witnessed throughout the three primary stages of junior tennis. I’m convinced that positive character traits and customized life skills development hold the secret key to maximizing athletic potential.

At Ages: 7-11, junior athletes I work with possess:

  • 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
  • 40%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 10%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 40%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

In this introductory stage, there is nothing more heartbreaking than the estimated 40% of gifted athletes I see with zero desire or work ethic (AKA life skills.)

 

At Ages: 12-15, junior athletes I work with possess:

  • 25%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
  • 45%: Medium physical talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 5%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 25%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

In this developmental stage, the medium talented athletes with customized developmental plans and well-nurtured life skills begin to shine. Simultaneously the gifted athletes with poor nurturing, and life skills development are dropping out.

 

At Ages: 16-18, junior athletes I work with possess:

  • 10%: Medium physical talent, medium desire, medium commitment.
  • 70%: Medium talent, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 20%: Gifted physically, maximum desire, maximum commitment.
  • 0%: Gifted physically, no desire, no commitment.

At the top of the junior tennis food chain, life skills trump physical talent.

The outcomes (wins and rankings) are contingent on how well the parents and coaches deliver the four skill sets and how adept the athlete is at assimilating this information.

 

As youth sports researchers often say, “Life skills are purposely taught, not hopefully caught.”

 

The following chapters will identify the hidden benefits of life skills and character building. Life skills and positive character traits are essential elements found in The Soft Science of Tennis.

 

Why Character Building Matters- Part 4

Posted on July 23, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

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“You need to develop a thick skin” is a common mantra for strong character building. It’s an effective defense to the critics. Trust me, the most common way you know you’re rising above the crowd is when others begin to trash-talk and criticize you solely because of their petty jealousy. If athletes aren’t able to take criticism, they should stay home, lie on the couch and stop improving immediately!”

 

In regards to character, actions speak louder than words. Parents and coaches need to remember that they are modeling character and that their actions have a more significant impact than their words. It is the role of parents and coaches to create a positive environment for ideal character building. Build character and lead by example:

  • It’s cool to be kind so choose kindness.
  • Vulnerability is a courageous character trait and not a weakness. So embrace vulnerability.
  • Share successes and failures. Share your story as a learning tool.
  • Laugh and joke as you apply humor to your daily training sessions.
  • Give credit to others for your success.
  • Compliment others daily on everything and anything.

 

“Invest more time and energy in your positive character building, and you’ll witness your athletes
modeling positive behavior.”

Why Character Building Matters- Part 3

Posted on July 20, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

The Power of Choicefrank

Positive character motivates the athlete to forge ahead. Negative character allows the athlete to give up. A critical question in our sport is “How do we teach our athletes to handle losses?”

A modern term used in sports psychology is Posttraumatic Growth (PTG). Psychologists apply the term PTG to describe a positive psychological change that can result from a traumatic experience, such as athletic failure. Though losing may not seem like a tragic event to some, to others competitive losses can be mentally and emotionally crippling.  PTG methodologies help clients through difficult situations by encouraging them to take responsibility with the power of choice.

The athlete can choose to fight or retreat. Tennis champions actually lose and lose often throughout their career. The athletes who choose to use their scar tissue as motivation to fight and endure the athletic pressure persevere and reach the top. Admirable character opens up the athlete to forge ahead instead of shutting down and giving up.

Why Character Building Matters- Part 2

Posted on July 19, 2021 by in The Soft Science of Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s newest book, The Soft Science of Tennis.

Click Here to Order through Amazon

 

Busoft scienceilding character in young athletes is essential to the success of the athlete on and off the court. Positive character not only assists the athletes on the court but guides them as they make the world a better place. An excellent character is a secret precursor of winning. It drives performance, which accelerates results. It’s the heartbeat of The Soft Science of Tennis. Sadly, in today’s generation, many parents assume that the coaches are teaching positive character traits and critical life skills, while coaches believe that it’s the parents who are educating these essential skills, and sadly it’s a missing link in developing athletes.

 

“Excellent character is the secret precursor of winning. It drives consistent training which accelerates results.”

 

Character counts, so what is character? It’s a combination of the athlete’s emotional qualities, beliefs, and values. Great character isn’t a genetic predisposition. Humans aren’t born with great character. Good character is a learned skill set with well-nurtured emotional enhancements. One’s character, good or bad shines in all its glory when the athlete competes and under duress. Developing character molds the athlete’s inner dialog, which either pumps them up or tears them down on a daily basis.

 

“The underlining effectiveness of a parent or coach lies in their ability to develop positive character skills.”