Tag Archives: Parent Player Communication

Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 5

Posted on December 9, 2020 by in Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

Understanding Internal PressurePreparing final cover 3D

 

“Thriving under pressure requires exposure, not avoidance.”

Teaching a junior competitor to handle internal pressure is a complicated affair. It greatly depends on their genetic predisposition. Some personality profiles are wired to overthink, worry, and stress, while others are natural-born competitors. If your athlete wilts under pressure, this is for you!

A solution that will help athletes to become comfortable in match play is replacing the mindless grooving of strokes in the academy with actually competing in real practice matches. Organize your athlete’s training sessions to focus on competitive, simulated stressful situations on a daily basis.

After a solid foundation is built, redundant technical training is counter-productive. Preparing for pressure demands exposing the athlete to more live ball flexible skills training. This allows them to make the software mistakes and learn from them on the practice court long before tournament play occurs.

A second solution in preparing for pressure is to avoid always enrolling your athlete in events above their actual match play level. I recommend also registering your athlete into lower level, winnable tournaments. This will allow them to gain the much-needed experience of playing longer at their peak performance level six matches in a row. Athletes need to routinely experience what it’s like to compete in the semis and finals of events.

Athletes need to become accustomed to the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms and cures found in real match play. Only with experience will they learn how to perform under pressure.

 

Parents, it’s your job to fluctuate your athlete’s exposure to the different levels of competition at the correct time. Their tournament scheduling should be customized to their current needs.

 

Tennis From The Parent’s View- Part 2

Posted on December 2, 2020 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Preparing for Pressure

The following post is an excerpt from Frank’s Amazon #1 New Tennis Book Release, Preparing for Pressure.

 Click Here To Order through Amazon

 

Identifying your Personal Stress Response

 

 

Preparing final cover 3D

“When results matter, pressure will affect performance.”

 

Parents, ask yourself, “Is performing under pressure beneficial or harmful to your child?” Your answer determines how likely you are to be affected by competitive pressure. Because of that, your athlete will likely inherit that point of view. If the parent perceives pressure as a negative force, they will repeatedly associate it with anxieties such as negative judgment, fear of failure, and self-doubt. Parents applying a pessimistic viewpoint drains the athlete’s energies before competition even begins. Uneducated parents pull the athlete’s focus away from performance goals and into the praise or criticisms coming their way.

This common negative parental mindset leads to the dismantling of the trust every good coach develops. All too often a stressed-out parent unknowingly sabotages the confidence they’ve just paid a coach to instill. Once tournament titles are perceived as paramount by the parent, the process of performing when it matters most is shattered.

 

It’s meaningful to understand how stress multiplies. The design of a tournament draw ensures that pressure increases through each round of the event. As the level of stress increases, so too must the athlete’s emotional aptitude. Pressure naturally increases towards the end of each game, set, and match. If the pressure begins to be perceived as overwhelming the performance level will decline. Monitoring and releasing pressure stems from the proper use of between point rituals and changeover routines. Athletes who choose to skip these “recharging stations” routinely breakdown when they need emotional clarity the most.

 

What if the pressure was seen as beneficial? Billy Jean King famously said, “Pressure is a privilege.” An optimistic point of view is that the athlete is where their peers want to be. Athletes who are nurtured that pressure has positive forces become unflappable at crunch time. These balanced parents who are routinely nurturing tenacity and confidence have athletes who apply situational awareness versus outcome obsessions.

The impact of parents greatly influences the athlete’s physical, mental, and emotional development. In the correct optimistic frame of mind, pressure prompts growth, and consistent growth is what you seek. So, is pressure seen as harmful or beneficial to the development of your child?

 

Promote competition as an information-gathering mission necessary to test developing skills.

Acknowledging Your Child’s Efforts

Posted on September 12, 2016 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Parent Player Communication

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most on-line retailers! Click Here to Order Maximizing Tennis Potential with Frank Giampaolo

 

Acknowledging Your Child’s Efforts

Once a month, throughout the course of your youngsters tennis career (or any committed passion your child may have…), plan on sitting down and writing a letter stating how proud you are of them. Place it on their bed at night.

It’s my bet that most adults could not handle the pressure a serious junior competitor endures day in and day out. Take a few moments to acknowledge how proud you are of their efforts. Thank them for the courage they show as they lay it on the line week after week.

 

PARENT PLAYER HARMONY

Posted on August 17, 2016 by in Parent Player Communication, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most on-line retailers! Click Here to Order

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PARENT PLAYER HARMONY

 

“The parent coach relationship is a true partnership.”

One of the most important duties of a parent is to instill harmony along the journey. Through a parent’s unconditional love and support, the ultimate outcome of the athletic journey should be to create a well-balanced, world class adult.

 

Behaviors that Foster Parent-Player Harmony Checklist:

  • Leave notes under their pillow reminding them how proud you are of their efforts.
  • After a loss, give your child time and space.
  • On a daily basis, be effort orientate versus outcome orientated.
  • Understand the parents’ job descriptions.
  • Abide by the tennis parent match day guidelines.
  • Put visions and goals in writing to keep the team on same page.
  • Remember that your actions speak louder than your words.

 

“A parent should hold the athlete accountable for poor behavior. Instilling manors and good sportsmanship is part of the balanced approach.”

 

CONTACT: Frank Giampaolo FGSA@earthlink.net

Tennis Parent Communication

Posted on May 23, 2015 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from The Tennis Parent’s Bible.  Thanks for visiting, Frank Giampaolo

 

Let’s assume you are not a high performance tennis coach, but a loving tennis parent just the same.  As a tennis parent, your role is critical in the overall development of your child on and off the court.

Below I’ve listed ten important communication skills essential for the Tennis Parent:

Teach character building and not stroke production or strategy. Encourage life skill development, such as being optimistic, time management, emotional composure, perseverance/work ethic, proper nutrition, hydration and sleep requirements and organizational skills. With proper life skills your child will succeed on and off the court.

Communicate your match observations to the coach (and not to the child). Email your tournament notes to your primary coach – asking them to focus their training on your child’s actual match flaws. The coach will then take the appropriate training steps. This will add harmony to the often stressful parent player relationship.

Google positive motivation techniques. Don’t  force success…motivate success. Motivation is achieved through rewarding your child’s efforts and not by punishing their failures.  Punishment discourages growth – the exact opposite of motivation.

Set process goals such as a developmental plan, as well as outcome goals such as rankings.  Yes, there are two completely different sets of goals.  Developmental goals include nurturing many game components simultaneously. Process goals may include: off court training, primary and secondary stroke skills as well as mental and emotional protocols. Outcome goals may include: the USTA/ITF tournament schedules, ranking rules and regulations as well as college placement process.

Manage proper match day preparation: Spectacular preparation precedes spectacular performances. Practice makes permanent….practice doesn’t make perfect. This goes for pre-match warm ups as well. Sadly, most parents and players have horrific preparation routines and yet expect spectacular performances. See The Match Day Preparation eBook for more in depth discovery. (www.tennisparentsolutions.com)

Apply positive, non-threatening post match communication.  Consider your child’s preferred intelligence (How individuals relate best to the world around them.) Some brain types enjoy discussing post match “chalk talk” immediately after the match, others simply need a little distance before discussing the match and still others may never want to discuss the match. (FYI:  If your child never wants to discuss the match- you may have a hobbyist on your hands because they are not interested in growth) However, after a match, you may only have one hour before the next match to discuss performance issues.  Be positive and reinforce what they did well. You may consider asking: “What did you do effectively today?”, “What did the opponent do that made it tough for you?  What would you do different?”  VERSUS discussing your laundry list of their failures!!!!

Train Independency. One of the most important character traits of a champion is independent problem solving skills. If your child is 16 and you are still finding their shoes, packing their bag, carrying their water jug and racket bag to matches you are developing dependency. At 5 all in the third set, the independent problem solver is more likely going to find a way to win. The dependent child is going to be looking to you with tears in their eyes.

Manage your child’s entourage. Top nationally ranked player have an entourage. This group consists of teachers, paid hitters, trainers, sparring partners, physical therapists …etc.  If your coach insists that you only train with him/her…be aware that they may be looking after their best interest and not your child’s best interest. Bottom line- Do not assume one singular coach is doing everything your child needs. If you are only paying a coach to hit balls, you are mismanaging your child’s complete developmental plan.

Remember communication isn’t just verbal.  Studies show over 70% of communication comes from tone of voice, facial expressions and body language. In my opinion, kids key in on the tone of voice and ignore the actual words being spoken. How do you expect your child to play calm, relaxed and positive tennis under stress, if you are pacing on the side lines with your arms folded in a knot and shaking your head in disgust? If you are wound tighter than a drum, sit somewhere so that they cannot see or hear you.

If you’re going to have an attitude…make it gratitude. The real junior contenders I train week in and week out work harder than most adults. Though many adults may be going to a job 40 hours a week, how many of them are giving 100% effort even 10 hours a week?  Continuing to obsess about your child’s flaws will deflate their desire to even try. Replace the non-stop discussion of their flaws with your true feelings of being thankful for their hard work.  Show appreciation for your child’s effort and you will be motivating greatness!

“A tough realization for most tennis parents is that you can’t be a part time hobbyist parent and expect your child to be a champion. If you truly don’t want to “get involved” please don’t expect your child to be great.”

Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
MaximizingTennisPotential.com
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Parental Post Match Role

Posted on March 24, 2015 by in Parent Player Communication, Raising Athletic Royalty

Athletic informed parents are an essential component to developing athletic royalty. Win or lose, children need their parent’s to reinforce a healthy, loving and supportive relationship.  Thanks for visiting, Frank Giampaolo

The Tennis Parent's Bible by Frank Giampaolo

  • Assist your child in their static stretching, nutrition and hydration requirements.
  • Wait an appropriate amount of time before discussing the match.
  • Begin match analysis with an over-view of their positive performance goals with an optimistic tone of voice.
  • If not present- replace “Did You Win?” with “Did you hit your performance goals. Did you execute the correct shots at the right times?”
  • Remind your child to complete their match logs.

 

Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
MaximizingTennisPotential.com
Affiliate

 

Acknowledge your Child’s Efforts

Posted on February 10, 2015 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential, Parent Player Communication, Raising Athletic Royalty, The Tennis Parent's Bible

Thank you for your continued support. I truly appreciate the endless kind words about my blog postings and especially my books The Tennis Parent’s Bible, Raising Athletic Royalty and Championship Tennis. Thanks, Frank Giampaolo

 

 

Acknowledging Your Child’s Efforts

Here is a very positive action that brings about happiness:

Once a month, throughout the course of your youngsters tennis career plan on sitting down and writing a letter stating how proud you are of them. Place it on their bed at night.

Parents, do you realize that most full grown adults don’t focus on their job 100 percent of the time! They may be at work, but what are they actually doing? It’s my bet that most adults could not handle the pressure a serious junior competitor endures day in and day out. Take a few moments to acknowledge how proud you are of their efforts. Thank them for the courage they show as they lay it on the line week after week.

The Tennis Parent’s Bible Testimonials:

The below testimonials are just a sample of the many satisfied customers.  As a parent and/or a coach, you are faced with difficult and sometimes challenging situations as the director of your child’s tennis career. The Tennis Parent’s Bible provides solutions and directions.  It is a one of a kind tennis tool!

Tennis Industry Professional Testimonial:

“Frank Giampaolo just published a great new article in the December issue of Tennisplayer, adapted from his new book the Tennis Parent’s Bible. Subscriber response was very positive! But even if you didn’t read the article, you might want to check out the book, because it’s tremendous.

The Bible is an eBook that is over 230 pages of fascinating, valuable information. And if you order it now there are two free bonus booklets. How to Attract a Tennis Scholarship AND The Tennis Parent’s Bible Match Chart Collection. It’s $39.95 for the whole deal.

Frank has had the opportunity to work with over 60 players (and their families) who went on to win national junior titles. He’s seen it all–the beautiful and the ugly–and talks about what players, coaches, and parents need to know and need to do to help kids have a fabulous, positive life experience and become the best players they can. And he does it with honesty and humor.

I enjoyed and learned from the book myself and that’s why I am recommending it. As I worked through it I saw that the principles and situations Frank describes are really about tennis in general. It’s great to see it applied to high level juniors but it’s relevant to club players and competitive players at all levels. In fact, it’s relevant to life.

So do yourself a favor and order this one. And write in with your own review or leave us a comment in the Forum!”

Tennis Parent Testimonial:

“Dear Frank, Thank you so much for writing The Tennis Parent’s Bible.  My family is finally at peace.  We have been at “war” over how to best pursue my son’s tennis goals. Now we have a direction and plan of action.  My son’s coach, my son and my wife are all on the same page. There is so much to know about developing a tennis player. You have opened my eyes and brought so much clarity for us.  I feel my son really has a chance to be the best he can be…Thank you from the bottom of my heart! “

Tennis Coach Testimonial:

“Thank you Frank!  I could of not said it better myself!  If only every teaching professional would read this manual!  It is such a helpful source of information.  It takes the blame off all parties and makes the game of tennis much more enjoyable. I am asking all of my tennis instructors read it and I am suggesting that all the tennis families at the club read it! I cannot thank you enough! “

 

 

Contact: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
www.MaximizingTennisPotential.com
Affiliate

Finding the Right Professional

Posted on February 6, 2015 by in Choosing a Professional, Maximizing Tennis Potential, The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from The Tennis Parent’s Bible. Thank you for visiting, Frank Giampaolo

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How to Find the Right Professional?

Initial instructors are usually chosen by proximity, cost and availability. Once the athlete progresses into the competitive stage, it’s time to identify the styles and personalities of coaches that fit your needs. Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to have more than one coach. Listed below are eight specialized styles of coaches that you may be employing along your journey. Let’s call it your coaching menu:

  • The Kind and Fun Loving Coach
  • The Mechanical Technician
  • The Tennis-Specific Off Court Fitness Expert
  • The Hitter
  • The Emotional-Psychological Coach
  • The Mental-Strategizing Expert
  • The Academy Recruiter
  • The Clinic/Academy- Group Class Instructor

Employing the right professional will save you thousands of wasted hours, dollars and tears. Here are a few secrets to assist you when selecting a Pro:

  • Great coaches were mentored by even greater coaches. Ask them who mentored them and/or who they trained under (as a teacher).
  • Look for a coach who enjoys what they do, it’s contagious.
  • Seek out a Pro that is so busy, that they don’t need your business.
  • The 10,000 hour rule applies! Being a master coach is a specialized/learned experience.
  • Be careful, a former college player or pro challenger player does not always translate into a great teacher.
  • Seek out a Pro who understands their clients unique Brain/ Body Type and Personality Profile (Genetic Predisposition).
  • Ask every player that beats you or your kid, “Great match…who is your coach? Where do you train?”
  • Ask a prospective coach, “We’ve heard great things about you, may we come and observe a few of your lessons?”
  • Pay the coach to chart a match and devise his game plan for improvement. Meet regarding his observations and suggestions.
  • Make sure the coach is asking questions, customizing and targeting their lessons.
  • Be wary of a Pro that discourages you from hitting with other Pro’s, hitters or trainers!

 

Match day failures almost always stem from the dozens of preparation failures. Simply put, the opponent found your weaknesses before you’ve even identified them. Uncovering the root of the losses is often done by charting.

CONTACT: Frank Giampaolo
FGSA@earthlink.net
MaximizingTennisPotential.com
Affiliate 

 

The Laundry List

Posted on October 23, 2014 by in Parent Player Communication

Greetings,0623P_5063

I am pleased to announce that my new book is soon to be released: Raising Athletic Royalty: Insights to Inspire for a Lifetime.  It is your go to guide to motivating and nurturing the greatness found in your children.

There is no doubt that parental modeling plays the most significant role in the way an athlete is nurtured. Children instinctively imitate their parent’s behaviors, attitudes and moral conduct. This makes supportive and informed (athletic) parental nurturing essential in maximizing a child’s potential at the quickest rate, regardless of the chosen passion/endeavor.

The code of excellence we all wish to imprint on our children cannot be taught in only a few hours a week by a gifted coach. These life lessons need to be nurtured day in and day out by their parents.

LESSON: The Laundry List

“Great game men,” said Coach Stevens. “You guys are improving every week. We are one heck of a football team! Every one of you gave it your all out there and I’m so proud! Keep up the good work! I’ll see you Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. at Riley Park for practice… READY BREAK!”

Every kid was smiling and laughing walking off the game day field, except for Randy.

Randy knew what was to come. He was a quiet ball of knots as he slowly headed toward his father’s car adding a limp to his gait to support a fake injury while holding his iphone in hand ready to text his friend about homework the moment he got into the car. These were just a few of the aversion tactics Randy regularly employed to lessen the barrage of criticism that was sure to come from his father. If he pretended to be injured and was addressing the importance of homework he needed to complete, then his father may go easy on him.

You see Randy’s dad believed that he was actually helping Randy by watching every game and compiling a detailed laundry list of Randy’s failed plays, mistakes and improvement issues. Randy’s dad didn’t even realize that he was destroying his son’s confidence and self-esteem by pointing out his every flaw. No matter how good Randy was, it was not good enough. No matter how long Randy trained, it was not long enough. No matter how many things Randy fixed, his dad would find more flaws.

Mr. Wilson did not have a clue that the only thing he was cultivating was excuses, no effort and zero enjoyment for the sport, not to mention a seriously unhealthy family environment. After all, why in the world would Randy want to play if it only led to a new laundry list of why he’s so slow, uncoordinated and stupid?

Parents, remember that the only comments you should make directly after competition are motivational and positive comments like: “I wish I had the guts to go out there and perform like that.”, “I think it’s so cool watching you out there.”, “You’re getting better and better everything day.”,  “Did you have fun out there today?” or “You’re playing great; let me know if I can help you with anything!” Motivating the growth you seek comes from optimism and not from pessimism. Continually reminding your children of their failures is futile. Instead, after each game or practice session, support your child’s efforts with love and praise.

If you or your spouse possess this dreaded parental laundry list of failure disease, begin to replace the list of negative remarks with positive ones.

If you deeply feel that your laundry list is insightful and important to the growth of your child, I suggest asking the coach if you can email the list to him after the game. Then ask him if he can pay special attention to those issues. Chances are that your child will accept the valid feedback if it is presented by the coach instead of the parent. A good coach should have a better way of presenting the issues in an optimistic and positive light.

Thanks for visiting, Frank

Contact Frank: Email: fgsa@earthlink.net

Web Site: www.MaximizingTennisPotential.com

Web Site: www.tennisparentsolutions.com