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More Solutions to Performance Anxieties

Posted on April 10, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Perfectionism

Evan: I’ve learned the hard way that perfectionism is like lugging around a duffle bag full of 100 lb. weights. I thought it would make me stronger but all it does is keep me from flying. What a waste of time and energy!

Jarrod: I’m hyper critical. I should be perfect because everyone always told me how brilliant I am.  If I don’t finish #1 every time, I believe I’m a failure. I’ve been told I’m defensive towards criticism, but the ones criticizing me are usually wrong.

Frank’s Tips: Perfectionism is toxic self-abuse. The very best athletes in every sport are only excellent… Not Perfect. Aim for 90% versus 110%.  This allows for wiggle room, while still being consistently excellent.

 

Negative Self-Talk

Evan: I remember you had our whole family play the FLIP IT game. Remember? Every time someone said a negative comment the rest of us would say “flip it!”  Man, we told Jarrod to “flip it” like a thousand times!

Jarrod: Oh yeah, but remember? Dad was worse than me! Every sentence out of his mouth started with:  “The problem is…” I’m actually only negative when things aren’t perfect.

Frank’s Tip: We listen to ourselves more than any other person. This is due to our inner dialog. Are you constantly lifting yourself up or tearing yourself down? Our inner chatter should sound like we’re talking to someone we love.

 

Strengthening emotional aptitude requires focusing optimistically on improving any of the above ten performance anxieties by applying the suggested tips. For most athletes, the likely cause of experiencing anxiety is emotionally experiencing failure …in advance.

Performance Anxieties

Posted on April 6, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Fear of Performing in Front of People

Evan: It’s really the fear of not being good enough, wouldn’t you say? The fear of letting friends and family down and giving the naysayers proof that they’re right. It’s more pressure to play to a crowd.

Jarrod: I love playing in front of people. I actually focus better because I want to show them how good I am. My brother is scared of center court… I love it!

Frank’s Tip: Play with fear as the dominant force and fear owns you. You can accept that fear is present but then choose to ignore it. View every spectator as envious of you. You’re on center stage. You’re living their dream. Accept imperfections and enjoy the fact that so many people respect the skills you’ve achieved.

 

Lack of Confidence

Evan: It’s amazing how much more confidence I have in my game with my new found preparation. I believe in my skills because my skills are tested every day. I’m courageous enough to trust my training and it feels good.

Jarrod: I avoid doing things that I’m not good at. I want to win at everything, so why would I try to do something I’m not good at? If it risks me looking bad…I avoid it, I’m not stupid!

Frank’s Tip: Confidence is built upon accountability. It’s the athlete’s daily, consistent accomplishments that increase their trust in their skills. Utilizing daily journals is a great accountability tool used to monitor daily accomplishments.

More Performance Anxieties

Posted on April 3, 2017 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order 

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Evan and Jarrod’s take on choking and panicking.

Choking

Evan: To me, choking stems from having these unwanted contaminants in my head. As soon as I start to think about the ramifications of the outcome, I lose focus and get super tight. I know that if I’m in a match and I’m already thinking of where I’m going for lunch, I’m in trouble. Staying in my present, performance script is my solution.

Jarrod: No one ever beats me. I beat myself. Yeah, I’ve choked 100 times but everyone does. I don’t think that worrying about it solves anything. Who wants to go to Starbucks?

Frank’s Tips: Choking is most often caused by over-thinking about the future (outcomes) instead of staying in the performance state of mind.  Organizing verbal and physical triggers is a great way to stop choking. Applying basic triggers such as, “Let’s go- pump it up” or doing some kangaroo jumps to loosen up muscle tension may be the difference between winning and losing. In my experience, it is best for athletes of every level to apply a simple command (pre-set protocol) to help them refocus on their performance.

 

Panicking

Evan: Panicking is the opposite of choking, right? If choking is over thinking, panicking is under thinking. Sometimes I’m so angry I don’t apply my rituals. I just shut down mentally and emotionally and rush. That’s when I need to take way more time, breathe deeply and relax.

Jarrod: My parents say that in competition, I’m like a race car with no breaks. I’m not sure what that means but … I’ll take it as a compliment.

Frank’s Tip: Panicking stems from not trusting your talent and your training. It is seen by spectators as under-thinking and rushing through the performance. Again, solutions come in the form of triggers. Triggers to help stop panicking include. Saying “Relax, slow down and let’s enjoy the moment.” Physically, walk away. Take a time out. Go to the towel. Customization is the key.

 

Establishing Expectations and Guidelines

Posted on March 31, 2017 by in The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from the Second Edition of The Tennis Parent’s Bible NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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“Being coachable is when the eagerness to improve overrides the fear of change.”

 

Parents and coaches, plan on communicating your expectations to your athlete and entourage of coaches and trainers to develop an important alliance with the team. Defining the behaviors you expect from your athletes during both practice and match play will pave the road for excellence in tennis and in life. This is especially important for the beginner and intermediate levels of the game.

Five Tennis Coaching and Parental Expectations:

  1. Place effort and improvement over having to win the match, social game or live ball drill.
  2. On the court be grateful, enthusiastic and polite.
  3. Arrive 10 minutes before your scheduled practice session to prepare.
  4. Arrive on court dressed and ready to compete.
  5. Avoid complaining or criticizing others.

The Evolution of Winners

Posted on March 27, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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The Evolution of Winners

“It’s not the strongest that survive nor the most intelligent but the one most responsive to change.”

Charles Darwin

 

Being responsive to change is emotional aptitude. Winners innovate. The solution to becoming a winner is to be willing to take risks. Through risks comes rewards. Champions see taking calculated risks as necessary in order to achieve greatness. It’s important to note that in competitive sports, there is a difference between controlled aggression and reckless aggression. The same holds true with calculated risk versus reckless risk. In competition, only with risk comes reward. Athletes too afraid to take risks are commonly known as “spectators.”  Emotional aptitude is the mindset of taking your best shot at greatness, regardless of possible failure.

Benefits of Taking Calculated Risks:

The comfort of the familiar often takes precedence over the risk of the unknown, both in sports and in life. This safety zone destroys growth.  Taking calculated risks push athletes through pre-existing emotional walls and forges new emotional protocols. Without taking calculated risks, athletes cannot maximize potential. Improvement is not a result of random chance.  Improvement comes with systematic change. I’ve outlined three critical benefits of taking calculated risks.

Enhances Skill Sets and Promotes Confidence

Developing new techniques and strategies is considered a risk for many athletes. Added skills are the tools in one’s toolbox. With new tools comes a new found sense of confidence.

Improves Problem-Solving Skills

New solutions to long term problems will present themselves once you’re open to new ideas and are willing to try different approaches towards improvement.

Encourages Commitment and Trust

Taking risks encourage growth.  With growth comes new pathways towards improvement. New success, in turn, reinforces inner belief and the risks then become the reward.

 

The benefits of taking calculated risks come from a growth mindset.

 

Performance Anxiety Solution 4

Posted on March 24, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, Emotional Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Popular Performance Anxieties

To illustrate how unique personalities operate differently, I’d like to reintroduce you to the twins: Evan and Jarrod. Let’s again call upon the brothers to offer their take on the following top ten performance anxieties. (Following is Solution Number 4)

4. The Wandering Mind

Evan: I apply the TV channel analogy you taught us. Each state of mind is like a different TV channel. In competition when I’m bored or scared, I choose to remain on my “performance script” TV channel. Controlling my focus allows me to stay on script without drama. I know that choosing to flip to other channels in competition due to under and over arousal complicates matters. So, if I do briefly drift away from my script, I’m trained to quickly return to my performance frame of mind.

Jarrod: Um, like… I don’t see the connection. Yeah, my mind wanders in and out of my performance frame of mind at times… But it wanders because the opponents are no good. I mean I can focus when I have to… I guess.

Frank’s Tip: The first question to ask an athlete with a wandering mind is, “What is pulling them off script? Is it an internal or external stimulus?” Internal distractions include thoughts such a negative outcome or physiological sensation such as a psychosomatic injury brought about by stress. External distractions include the elements, competitors, spectators, etc. While both internal and external stimuli may impede performance, it is essential to identifying the cause of distraction in order to implement the proper solution.

 

Performance Anxiety Solution 3

Posted on March 22, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports, Emotional Tennis

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Popular Performance Anxieties

To illustrate how unique personalities operate differently, I’d like to reintroduce you to the twins: Evan and Jarrod. Let’s again call upon the brothers to offer their take on the following top ten performance anxieties. (Following is Solution Number 3)

3. Problem Solving

Evan: I view matches as information-gathering and problem-solving expeditions. I am constantly monitoring my own game as well as my opponent’s game. This includes techniques, athleticism, mental and emotional issues. I also pay close attention to the weather conditions because it may affect my decision making.

Jarrod: Yeah… I don’t stress about defining problems or working on solutions in practice. I’m just good at solving problems. I’m naturally awesome.

Frank’s Tip: Coaches and parents shouldn’t tell the student the problem. They should ASK the student “What is the problem? What is the solution?”  This encourages accountability and strengthens emotional aptitude.

 

More Solutions to Performance Anxieties

Posted on March 20, 2017 by in Maximizing Tennis Potential

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Popular Performance Anxieties

To illustrate how unique personalities operate differently, I’d like to reintroduce you to the twins: Evan and Jarrod. Let’s again call upon the brothers to offer their take on the following top ten performance anxieties. (Following is Solution Number 2)

2. Mental Toughness

Evan: I’m probably more successful than my peers, but not because I’m a better athlete, but because I prepare my psychological responses to game time stress. I think it’s because we make the time to discuss all the emotional scenarios and have pre-set the appropriate protocols.

Jarrod: I don’t care about mental toughness in practice. I’ll save my focus and concentration for the real match. You mean players actually train their concentration and intensity levels? Wimps…

Frank’s Tip: Athletes and coaches often categorize emotional toughness as mental toughness. In my opinion, there is a difference between mental (X’s & O’s of strategy) and emotional (performance anxieties.) It’s important to correctly categorize the cause of the performance inabilities. For instance, is the athlete unaware of the proper strategy to be implemented or is the athlete so nervous and fearful their strategy is un-accessible under stress. Identifying the cause will help define the solution.

Popular Performance Anxieties

Posted on March 15, 2017 by in Emotional Aptitude in Sports

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Solutions to Popular Performance Anxieties 

To illustrate how unique personalities operate differently, I’d like to reintroduce you to the twins: Evan and Jarrod. Let’s again call upon the brothers to offer their take on the following top ten performance anxieties. (Following is solution number one – more solutions to come.)

  1. Handling Pressure

Evan: I thrive under pressure because I’ve focused on it every practice session. I enjoy the negative scoring drills. These stress-buster exercises keep me focused throughout the practice session. They make me accountable for every sloppy error. They help me not only with my fundamentals but with my decision making, my problem solving and my self-coaching/internal dialog.

Jarrod: Dude, I just like to crank the tunes in practice and groove. I don’t need to think about my emotions. So what…?  I get mad when I compete…I’m not worried about it!

Frank’s Tip: Multitask and incorporate stress simulation scoring into daily training. This develops the emotional muscle as well as the technique.

Foster Emotional Strength

Posted on March 12, 2017 by in Emotional Tennis, The Second Edition of The Tennis Parent's Bible

The following post is an excerpt from Emotional Aptitude In Sports NOW available through most on-line retailers!  Click Here to Order

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Five More Solutions to Foster Emotional Strength

Nurture the Love of Competition
Studies show that experiences bring more joy than possessions. The energy of the event is contagious. Athletes should enjoy competing against their past, fatigue, opponents and against time.

Commit to Improving
Being the best of the best (even in your town) doesn’t come without extreme effort. Improve your performance by understanding emotional aptitude.

Recognize That You Can’t Be Normal …and a Champion
Champions lead very different lives than normal people. Being an athletic champion is a daily lifestyle.

Customize Your Training
Realize that diligent customized training trumps social, group learning. Research shows, on average, group training takes up to six times longer than quality private training.

Adopt a Growth Mind-Set
Great skills are cultivated through continuous effort more so than initial talent or IQ.  Without effort…you fail by default. Understand that success starts with the effort of optimism and a growth mindset.